The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, November 09, 2019

valorous idylls chapter 33

Oh What A Tangled Web We Weave When First We Flatter To Deceive

The doorbell rings.
It is Joanna Baines with a bearded man in blue overalls.
"James can we come in and check your water pressure? Ours is very weak and we just want to let the plumber check yours to compare it."
This is a pickle.
If she comes in, she's going to discover I gave away the TV she gave me.
To buy some time, I let the dogs gallop out the front door and race around the garden.
"Oh, oh, oh, Joanna," I exclaim, "they're loose. Will you catch them? I can't chase them because of my arm."
Laurence Olivier couldn't have played it better.
Shakespearian acting.
I hurry into the kitchen and lock the door into the TV room where a giant vase of plastic flowers from Newbridge Silverware reposes in the spot formerly occupied by the TV, the same dearly departed TV which Joanna left here while I was in hospital and which remained until John Berney took it last week when I told him I didn't want to own a TV because of all the anti Catholic propaganda, the ideologically manipulative news reporting, the sex, the violence and because I'm mortally and morally offended by the really unentertaining programming generally.
Joanna and the plumber rejoin me, dogs in tow.
The plumber checks the water.
They leave happily enough.
But there's something bothering me.
She knows.
And I know she knows.
And she knows I know she knows.

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