doctor heelers answers your religious questions
Dear Doctor Heelers.
Settle a bet. Why do the Franciscans all sport silly beards?
Regards, Professor Jill Allaway.
Jilly it's a macho thing. Some of these monks are very competitive. Mine is bigger than yours etc etc. You're nobody in the monastery unless you've got a long matted grey one.
J
Hey Doc.
Heard your poetry recital for the church kids last week was something out of the ordinary. Any chance you'd perform for my class of school children?
Linda Bologna.
Linda, there's a better than even money chance if you forward a hundred quid to my home address.
J
Good morning Mr Healy.
You seem very down on Independent Newspapers, the Irish Times and the national broadcasters here in Ireland. It is hard to imagine what sort of Ireland you aspire to. Do you deny the country is prosperous and the government stable?
Bill Tremayne.
Bill.
Men are most readily made slaves in a time of plenty.
J
Heelers.
You are not so clever as you think you are. In my opinion your writings are merely the worst type of Catholic propaganda dressed up in tawdry reusable pseudo literary allusions.
Libby Fembo.
Libby.
My blushes.
James
PS: Go to mass.
Hey Heelers.
I don't know why you hold such a brief for the Catholic church. Even you have to admit the church has done a lot of damage to people's sexuality in this country. The repressiveness of Catholic doctrines has led many into a lifetime of ill health and sexual unfillment.
Monty Baines
Monty old chum.
If it was that simple we'd all be getting some.
Heelers
Settle a bet. Why do the Franciscans all sport silly beards?
Regards, Professor Jill Allaway.
Jilly it's a macho thing. Some of these monks are very competitive. Mine is bigger than yours etc etc. You're nobody in the monastery unless you've got a long matted grey one.
J
Hey Doc.
Heard your poetry recital for the church kids last week was something out of the ordinary. Any chance you'd perform for my class of school children?
Linda Bologna.
Linda, there's a better than even money chance if you forward a hundred quid to my home address.
J
Good morning Mr Healy.
You seem very down on Independent Newspapers, the Irish Times and the national broadcasters here in Ireland. It is hard to imagine what sort of Ireland you aspire to. Do you deny the country is prosperous and the government stable?
Bill Tremayne.
Bill.
Men are most readily made slaves in a time of plenty.
J
Heelers.
You are not so clever as you think you are. In my opinion your writings are merely the worst type of Catholic propaganda dressed up in tawdry reusable pseudo literary allusions.
Libby Fembo.
Libby.
My blushes.
James
PS: Go to mass.
Hey Heelers.
I don't know why you hold such a brief for the Catholic church. Even you have to admit the church has done a lot of damage to people's sexuality in this country. The repressiveness of Catholic doctrines has led many into a lifetime of ill health and sexual unfillment.
Monty Baines
Monty old chum.
If it was that simple we'd all be getting some.
Heelers
posted by heelers | 3:43 AM
2 Comments:
Dear Doctor Heelers,
Thank you for these pearls of wisdom. If I had a question, I would pose it, but you have already answered all those that had been bothering me.
G.
The Franciscan beard does indeed have to do with competitiveness but not as one might imagine. I live in the city of St. Francis and can verify that Monty Baines' response is actually part of the causal explanation to Dr. Heeler's investigation.
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