The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, May 28, 2016

obitcheries

Mattie Conway is dead.
He has gone to that great H Block in the sky.

charter for a new political party in ireland


1. Repudiate abortion, euthanasia and assisted suicide.

2. Elect the Judiciary. Allow any citizen to stand for election as Judge in order to break the monopoly on Jurisprudence established by unrepresentative unelected leftist colleges in Ireland. End the IRA mafia's infiltration of the Judiciary.

3. End unemployment by assigning an intern to every public sector government employee (State employees including teachers, nurses, police, soldiers, lawyers, television broadcasters, parliamentarians) on salaries above 80 thousand Euro a year, whereby the mentor awards 10 thousand of his own salary to the intern, which is joined to the 8 thousand unemployment benefit which the intern is already receiving to give a starting salary of 18 thousand.

4. Permit high rise sky scraper developments in Dublin and all Irish cities.

5. Establish anti rackateering divisions in the police force, dedicated to individual mafias, ie an anti IRA division, an anti Cosa Nostra division, an anti Al Qaeda division, an anti Chinese Triads division, an anti Russian mafia division, an anti Nigerian Devil Worshipper mob division, an anti Tinker Gang division etc. Make the new police divisions results driven. Issue six monthly progress reports from each division, numbers of arrests, expulsions, and seizures of assets.

6. End white collar criminal Denis O'Brien's control of Independent Newspapers and associated media groups, and sequester Denis O'Brien and his family's billion dollar assets on the grounds that their fortune was founded on bribes to a corrupt Fine Gael Communications Minister styled Michael Lowry, as already delineated by Judicial enquiry.

7. Issues public shares in the State broadcaster RTE, with citizens being awarded shares based on the number of television licences they have purchased over the years. Elect the governing body of RTE through universal suffrage of shareholders. End the IRA mafia's infiltration of RTE.

8. Deregulate broadcasting in Ireland. Permit political parties to establish their own television stations.

9. Incarcerate gangland figures in dispersed prisons overseas, preferably in Russia. Intern members off the Kinahane IRA skang gang without trial overseas. Ditto the Hutch IRA skang.

10. Re establish our border and enforce it.

11. Anathematise the IRA.

12. Permit universal suffrage of adult citizens in senate elections.

13. Permit any adult citizen to stand for the Presidency.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

folkies

The most famous folk singer alive today in Ireland is Christy Moore.
He entered a cafe of which I am an habitue during a wondrously warm May afternoon last week.
The cafe is called the Chat And Chew and you will find it in the town of Newbridge.
Christy Moore entered the cafe escorted by a local activist from the Fianna Fail political party.
They sat.
A lady called Jolene (married so I'll resist the urge to enthuse louchly about her looks) approached the table.
She manages the cafe most Mondays.
"This is Jolene," said the politician to Ireland's most famous folk singer.
Christy Moore looked up roguishly.
At 70 he can still do roguish like he means it.
Then he sang with quite distinctive and exquisite intonation:
"Jolene, Jolene, Jole-e-e-e-ene, don't take my man just because you can."
Why it was like a poem the way he sang it.
Not one of your ould wet Seamus Heaney poems either.
More like WB Yeats on a good day.
Powerful and heart searing.
I would have liked him to keep going.
The lady in question interrupted just as it was getting good.
"Would you ever ---- off," she exclaimed, "I'm sick of that ----ing song. Everybody sings it to me,"
This is quite true as I could have told him.
And although Christy Moore sings it better, I'd say my version has more going for it in terms of wit and innovation.
It goes:
"Jolene, Jolene, Jole-e-e-e-ene,
Don't burn my ham and eggs because you can.
I know you've made this dinner before
But I need just one more.
Oh please don't burn my dinner please Jolene.
Jolene, Jolene, Jole-e-e-e-ene."
And endless variations on the theme.
I really like singing it but she has trained me not to.
Life is too short.
If I had a death wish, I'd go back to shouting "no more Muslim terror," at anti Israeli demonstrators in Dublin before I'd chance singing Jolene to Jolene.
She's named after her grandfather by the way.
I kid you not.
For truly Newbridge is a quaint little town.
Our present story ends with someone going into the kitchen and telling Jolene the guy serenading her was Christy Moore.
She came out and apologised to him.
Christy Moore said a tad ruefully: "Lots of people have told me to ---- off before but never when I was singing."
They shook hands.
I gotta tell ya folks.
The world is poorly divided.
Never in the course of many such encounters has Jolene dreamed of apologising to me.

confucius he say

Opium is the opium of the atheistic class.

J'accuse

A children's home called Haut La Garenne on the island of Jersey is under investigation.
Allegations have emerged of serial sexual abuse, ritual violations, rapes and murders, taking place at the home.
The large number of allegations along with several other items of evidentiary information which have come into the public domain, point to many decades of violation, abuse, rape and murder of children at Haut La Garenne.
My analysis is that Haut La Garenne was used by a satanic cult for the ritual abuse of children.
My analysis is that this cult involves many levels of society on the island of Jersey, including political and law enforcement figures as well as prominent members of the business community.
I am disquieted by the manner in which the investigation is being handled.
I am disquieted that all members of staff who have at any time worked at Haut La Garenne have not been arrested, detained and interrogated.
I am disquieted that the senior officer investigating the case has been removed from the investigation.
I am disquieted at the manner in which the new senior officer investigating the case has dismissed many of the more serious allegations.
I do not believe the current investigators are seeking the truth.
I call on all men and women of good will to boycott the island of Jersey.
I call on all men and women of good will to boycott the products, people, industries, and holday resorts of the island of Jersey.
I call on all fund managers, investment comptrollers, and banking executives to divest immediately from the island of Jersey.
I call on David Cameron Prime Minister of Great Britain to take personal responsibility for the investigation.
I call on Queen Elizabeth the Second to intervene directly in this case, so that the murdered, raped, violated and ritually sacrificed children of Haut La Garenne will at last receive some form of justice.
There is no excuse for acquiescing in the child murders, rapes, ritual satanic sacrifices and sundry other tortures and violations, which have taken place at Haut La Garenne on the island of Jersey before the eyes of the world.
End this.
Bring the murderers to account.
Do it England.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

the rocky murdocks picture show

The screen is dark.
A disembodied male voice sings as the opening credits appear in the blackness.
The voice is plaintive, poignant and oddly beautiful.

***

The Voice: (singing)
"I remember the chill
The day Newsweek stood still
Claiming US troops flushed Korans down the jax
And Piers Morgan was there
In silver underwear
Cheerleading the Jihadi attacks.
Then something went wrong
For Rupert Murdock and his son
They got caught in a phone tapping jam
And at a deadly pace
It came from outer space
And this is how the message ran.
Science Fiction
Ooh, oooh, oooh
Double feature.
George Bush is a liar
Tony Blair's his creature
See Jihadis fighting
Not terrorists but insurgents
And lots of talk about quagmires
It's all so urgent
Woh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
Woh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Surrender show
I remember the sorrow
When the New York Times had to borrow
Five hundred million from a Sanchez named Slim
And the Washington Post
Soon gave up the ghost
And told us that Al Qaeda would win
Then something went weirder
For Piers Morgan at the Mirror
He published fake torture photos just to pay his bills
But I really stepped back
When Lukwesa Burak
Got a haircut that spits poison and kills
In a
Science Fiction
Wooh oooh oooh
Double feature
Rupert Murdock
Oooh oooh oooh
We'll build a creature
See lawyers fighting
At the Leveson Enquiry
And Adam Bolton wondering
Why the hell don't they fire me
Woh oh oh oh oh oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture Show
Woh oh oh oh oh oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
At the late night
Woo ooh ooh
Sky News feature
Picture show
Woh oh oh oh
I wanna go oh oh oh
To the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
By RKO
Oh oh oh oh oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show

***

(Camera cuts to the interior of a Starbucks cafe in South London. It is the Starbucks where Jannat Jalil from Sky News has her morning espresso. James Healy is at a table eyeing Jannat. She, being a fan of the Heelers Diaries, knows well he is stalking her. He approaches her table tentatively.)

James: Jannat.
Jannat: Yes James.
James: (awkwardly) I really admired the elegant way,
                               You read the evening news,
                               On Sky the other day.
Jannat: Yes James.
James: Jannat.
Jannat: Yes James.

(Music starts. Other diners sing the part of the Chorus.)

James: The road was long but I ran it.
Chorus: Jannat!
James: The river was broad but I swam it
Chorus: Jannat!
James: I've one thing to say
           And that's dammit Jannat, I love you.
           Here's the ring and now you'll never look back
           True I may have a pot belly and a saggy butt
           But my love for you is deeper than for Lukwesa Burak
           She spoilt her chances with that haircut, tut tut
Jannat: This ring is flashier than Kay Burleigh's mind games.
Chorus: Oh James
Jannat: It fills my heart with passion and sultry flames
Chorus: Oh James
Jannat: And I've one thing to say, and that's James, I'm insane for you too.
James: Dammit Jannat.
Jannat: Oh James, I'm insane.
James: Dammit Jannat.
Jannat: Oh James, I'm insane.
James: Dammit Jannat.
Jannat: Oh James, I'm insane.
James and Jannat: (together) I love you.

***

(Camera cuts to a country road on a dark night. James and Jannat are driving through the rain. The car runs out of petrol. The two sit for a moment in silence.)

Jannat: What kind of man doesn't fill his car with petrol before a long journey?
James: I never put more than ten Euro's worth in the tank.
Jannat: Why?
James: Well I wanted to punish the government for imposing punitive taxation rates on petrol. And I wanted to punish the garages for failing to organise an effective lobby to stop the government imposing this tax. And I wanted to punish the oil conglomerates for trying to corner the market in oil through forward buying, thereby driving the price of a barrel of oil to 100 dollars when it should be less than ten, and perpetually gambling that the price of oil will rise and then forcing it to do so through their astonomical borrowings from collapsed idiot banks. And I wanted to punish the Arabs and the OPEC organisation for operating an illegal oil cartel against the rest of humanity. All of these corrupt vested interest groups have traded on the notion that we will never respond to their price gouging. They have waxed fat on the idea that oil is not a price sensitive commodity. We have allowed them to believe that we will buy their oil no matter what they charge. This is a very negative delusion to encourage in governments, garages or Arabs. It is apt to confuse them.
Jannat: So you punished them by stranding us.
James: Er yes.
Jannat: Oh James.
James: Oh Jannat.
Jannat: I think I might be Muslim.
James: What's that?
Jannat: Nothing. Let's go search for help.

***

(Camera cuts to the two now walking along the roadside in the rain. They are making their way towards a castle in the distance which has a light shining in a single window. The music kicks in.)

Jannat: (singing)
In the velvet darkness
Of the blackest night
No matter where
There's a guiding light

James & Jannat: (singing together)
There's a light
Over at the Murdock place
There's a ligh-igh-igh-ight
Burning in the fireplace
There's a ligh-igh-igh-ight
In the darkness
Of every night

(Camera cuts to the window of the castle. Sky News Overseas foreign affairs correspondent Tim Marshall is sitting at the window watching the rain. Tim Marshall has in the past year been sent to report from Libya, Egypt, Syria, in fact from every trouble spot in the world where there is even the remotest chance that his life might be in danger. An uncharitable observer might conclude that someone at Sky is indeed trying to kill him.)

Tim Marshall: (singing)
The darkness must glow
Down the river of my dreaming
Until Kay Burleigh goes
The sun cannot come streaming
Into my life
Into my ligh-igh-igh- ife

(Camera returns to James and Jannat)

James & Jannat:
There's a light
Over at the Murdock place
There's a ligh-igh-igh-ight
It's burning in the fireplace
There's ligh-igh-igh-ight
In the darkness
Of every night

***

(Camera cuts to James and Jannat knocking on the door of Castle Murdock. The door opens to reveal Kevin Murdock (son of Rupert) dressed as the character Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Behind him we can see Rebekkah Wade, formerly Managing Director at News International, dressed as a sexy maid.)

James: Our car broke down.
Riff Raff: You've come on a very important night. The master is having one of his affairs.
James: You mean now he's cheating on Wendy Deng?
Jannat: Shhh.
Riff Raff: I think perhaps you'd better come inside.

***

(Scene: Castle interior. A group of garishly dressed guests have congregated. James and Jannat stare as without warning Riff Raff bursts into a most infectious musical number. The other party guests join in at just the right places.)

Riff Raff:
I remember
Doing the Truth Warp
Drinking
Those moments when
People gave us direct debit access to their personal bank accounts
To pay for Sky Channel
Let's do the News International again.
Let's bribe the police force again.
It's just a jump to the left
And a step to the righ-igh-igh-ight
You put your hands on your hips
And bring your knees in tigh-igh-ight
But it's tapping people's phones
That really knocks you insa-a-a-a-ane
Let's do the Truth Warp again
Let's do the News Corp again
It's just a jump to the left.
And a step to the righ-igh-igh-ight
You bribe the Chief of Police
And bring your knees in tigh-igh-ight
But it's owning the law
That really knocks us insa-a-a-a-ane
Let's do the News Corp again
Lets bribe the police force again

(Riff Raff and the partygoers collapse in an exhausted heap. James and Jannat don't quite know what to do. Although James has appreciated the verve of the performance and is clapping vigorously.)

Jannat: Let's get out of here.
James: Nonsense. It's just getting good. Let's stay and see what happens next.
Jannat: This is not the Athy Chamber of Commerce James.
James: (With infinitely smug middle class political correctness) They're probably just Muslims with ways different from our own.
Jannat: I'm cold. I'm frightened. And I'm just plain scared. Oh. And I think I'm a Muslim too.
James: (Still infinitely smug and middle class and not really taking anything in.) Don't worry darling. We all are. Now stop being frightened. I'm here. Nothing can possibly go wrong. If we're lucky, in a moment maybe these simple country folk will perform some more shameless parodies from the Rocky Horror Picture Show for our amusement.

***

(As James and Jannat are talking the other party goers and Riff Raff have slowly revived and risen to their feet. Suddenly, a door bursts open behind Jannat's shoulder. Rupert Murdock struts in. Jannat faints. James looks enthused. Rupert launches into his trademark song.)

Rupert:
Not another wordo
I'm Rupert Murdo
And he's... (indicating Riff Raff)
My faithful maitre delice
He's a little brought down
Because when you knocked
He thought you were the
Chief of Police
Don't get strung out
By the way I look
Don't judge a company by its corrupt corporate management
I may look 86 years old
By the light of day
But at night I look positively indigent
I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly Ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah-ah

James: (rapping and breaking any number of copyrights held by Jim Sharman and Richard O'Brien)
I'm glad we caught you at home
May we use your phone
We're both in a bit of a hurry
We'll just say where we are
And then get back to the car
We don't want to be any worry

Rupert: (singing)
So you got caught with a breakdown
In the middle of my shakedown
Heelers
Don't you panic
Even if Jannat dumps you
I'll find a more exotic broad to hump you
I'll get you a satanic Hispanic
Cos I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly Ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah-ah
Sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah-ah

(Rupert pauses to drink a cup of water. A man emerges from the chorus and throws a pie at him. The pie is neatly deflected by Wendy Deng who quickly hustles the would be assailant away while whaling the living tripe out of him with a metal dish.)

Rupert: (rapping)
Why don't you stay for the night
You could both have a bite
I won't tolerate any... dissension
I've been building a corrupt corporate media monopoly
You know with fake oversight from a board of directors who are all related to me
And they're good to relieve my... tension
Because
I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah
Whuh
Sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah
Oh
Don't get strung out
Because I bought the police
Don't judge a corrupt police buying company
By its corrupt corporate management
I may seem to buy a lot of cops
By the light of day
But at night
I get positively extravagant
Because I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective
Tasmania-ah-ah-ah

(Rupert changes tack suddenly and incomprehensibly)

Rupert: (singing)
The transducer will seduce ya.
You're a sensual attapensual
When we tapped your phones
Did you hear a bell ring???
You better wise up
Lord Leveson
You better shape those thighs up
And close those eyes up
I've got a gun
And I'm launching a Sunday Sun

Charles Grey: Until she cried out...

Jannat: Allah U Akbar.

(The music stops. Everyone turns and stares. Some of the more ghoulish extras cower a bit. Jannat somewhat guiltily puts her hands over her lips and looks apologetic. By the way, I challenge anyone to discern what those lines about a sensual attapensual were in the original Rocky Horror Show movie. Not since Peter Sarstead sang about lowly bontags in Where Do You Go To My Lovely, has there been such an incomprehensible vaguely obscene lyric. Or how about the bit, again in the original Rocky Horror, when Rupert sang: "How do ya do, I'm... Field Mabs Meim... faithful handyman." What the heck is Field Mabs Meim? The enigmas endure.)

***

(The awkward moment following Rupert's song and Jannat's exclamation is brought to a halt by Riff Raff drawing a ray gun and vapourising Rupert. Rebekkah Wade is upset by this turn of events.)

Rebekkah: Why did you do that? I thought you liked him. He liked you.

Riff Raff: (With infantile fury) He never liked me. And it was time for him to go. Heelers has clearly run out of steam. He's just lifting lines from the Rocky Horror Show. There aren't even any jokes.

(Riff Raff and Rebekkah turn slowly and threateningly towards James and Jannat)

Riff Raff: (With preternatural menace) You two had better leave us. My beautiful Rebekkah get ready. We return to Tasmania immediately. Prepare the transit beam.

(James and Jannat, having seen the Rocky Horror Show, know it's time to flee the building.)

***
Scene: Castle exterior. James and Jannat fall in the mud and continue scrambling towards the gate. Behind them a spectacular Truth Warp bathes the News International HQ in mystic police investigations. Presently the entire building vanishes. Gone. On a voodoo wind. Back to Tasmania. For a moment on the cold night air it is almost as if you can hear the voice of former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie hissing: "A hundred and seventy police officers investigating us. That's more than investigated Lockerbie. Cor blimey. Worra waste. Cor Bliiiiiimmmmmaaaiiiieeeee." James and Jannat are left alone in the dirt. A voiceover kicks in. It is Charles Grey whom we met very briefly and inexplicably during the last song, now reprising his career best performance as the Criminologist in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Charles Grey: (intoning)
And crawling
On the planet face
Some insects
Called the human race
Not members of the Board of News International
And not entitled to any dignity or respect or grace
Or indeed help from the police in the event that Rupert Murdock's staff, agents or companies assail, assault, violate, transgress, phone tap, kill, rape, burglarise, conduct posthumous show trials (like they did with Jimmy Saville to distract public attention from the Leveson Enquiry), or otherwise mitigate our rights in any way before the law
Even though
Cor blimey
We don't even let the police hack the phones of Jihadis
And Murdock's crew were doing it as a matter of course
To all of us
Cor blimey
Because
Basically
We're all lost
Lost in time
And lost in space
And meaning

***

The screen goes dark. The plaintive male voice from the opening credits returns to sing over the closing credits. The lyrics of the closing refrain are even more poignant than before. If that's possible.

The Voice: (singing)
There was once something rare
About Lukwesa Burak's hair
It made me want to grab her and kiss
I dreamed that we might
Run away in the night
But now I think I'll give it a miss
And Lisa Holland drove round
Old Tripoli town
With Saif Gadaffi sitting on her knee
And Rebekkah Wade
Was a sexy maid
She was
At least she worked for me
In a
Science Fiction
Double Feature
Rupert Murdock
We'll build a creature
See Alistair Campbell fighting
With Adam Bolton
Who's turning puce
And now quite molten
Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
I really was there
For Adam Bolton's live melt down on air
When Alistair Campbell straightened his tie
And young Wendy Deng
Had developed a yen
For a billionaire 86 year old man
Then something went wrong
For Osama Bin Laden
He was caught in a special forces commando raid
And at a deadly pace
He got shot in the face
And this is what his last message said
Science fiction
Oooh oooh ooh
The Leveson Enquiry
Corrupt policeman
Massive bribery
See Freemasons fighting
James and Jannat
And the Murdock Family stars in
Forbidden planet
Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
I wanna go
Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
To the late night
Sky News feature
Surrender show
By RKO
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
To the late night
Double feature
Sky News movie
Picture show

Sunday, May 22, 2016

this sporting life

A visit to Uncle Fred.
The dogs run into the house ahead of me.
Entering the kitchen I behold a scene.
Uncle Fred aged 80 is engaged in a tug of war with my sheepdog.
He is saying: "No, no, no," and is much too engrossed to even greet me.
They move back and forth around the kitchen like sword fighters.
Each one has a hold of something and will not let go.
I am mildly amused but feel it necessary to intervene lest one or other of them get over excited.
As the melee passes me, I reach out and pinch the dog's ear.
She drops whatever it is she's holding.
With a cry of "aha," Uncle Fred raises it aloft triumphantly.
It is a full bacon joint.
We stand for a few moments.
The Uncle sighs.
"I suppose you'd better take it with you when you're leaving and give it to the dogs later," he says.
I am agreeable to this.
We pass a few hours discoursing about sundry matters from American politics to Irish horse racing.
It is after midnight when I leave with the bacon wrapped in paper.
Next day I meet the Uncle on the avenue.
"Your cousin Ron came in late last night," laughs the Uncle, "and he was looking for the meat. I told him you took it because the dog had gotten it. And I could hear him from my bedroom cursing for about the next hour. You wouldn't believe the things he was saying."
"I'm not sure I want to know this," I murmur thoughtfully.
I head back to the house and retrieve the bacon from the fridge.
It is indeed a fine slab.
I get the dog dishes and cut a few slices for the hounds.
They eat happily.
I look at the remaining bacon.
It really is a fine hunk of meat.
I've probably cut off any bits that have been bitten or drooled on by the dog.
So I use what's left for my dinner.
Very nice it was too.
Positively savoury.

werewolves of london

the theatrical succession
years fled away
ham actors chewing up the stage
in their anodyne atheistic little play
stand now as one
with the ones who hammed
in shakespeare's day
and there's something very old and very fine and very grand
in this damp tacky theatre off clubland

Saturday, May 21, 2016

epitaph

cast a cold eye
on life
on death
horseman ---- off

ireland narco mafia state

IRA mafioso capo Sean Quinn has once again gone through the motions of a staged public departure from the companies he once used to bankrupt Ireland during the multi billion dollar IRA bank heist that was the Anglo Irish Bank collapse.
The companies into which Quinn had only recently forced his way back with the help of a Fine Gael Councillor styled John McCartin, are now (apparently legitimately) owned by American financial insitutions.
Some months ago the Americans had caved in to IRA threats by rehiring IRA capo Sean Quinn as an advisor to the companies he originally bankrupted on behalf of the IRA when he allowed them to be manipulated as a cover for the IRA's looting of Anglo Irish Bank, a looting that took place disguised as illegal billion dollar loans to the aforementioned IRA capo Sean Quinn's aforementioned IRA controlled front companies.
I mean I don't want to go casting no aspoyshuns.
In 2008 using the same companies which were then controlled by Quinn as their proxy, the IRA looted the bank and afterwards used a corrupt Fianna Fail government under Prime Minister Brian Cowan and a now conveniently deceased Finance Minister Brian Lenihan, to force the Irish people to bail out Anglo to the tune of untold billions of dollars.
The IRA also used borrowings from the IRA's own fully controlled Anglo Irish Bank to facilitate IRA capo Sean Quinn in purchasing a quarter of the ownership shares in Anglo Irish Bank.
The money the IRA were stealing from Anglo Irish Bank disguised as fake loans to Sean Quinn was being lent to Anglo Irish Bank in the first place by international financial entities.
That's right. The Irish people are currently paying the IRA terrorist mafia's debts to the IRA terrorist mafia's creditors.
Remember that all this time the IRA had beneficial control of Anglo Irish Bank and was lending to itself as a way to disguise its instutionalised burglarisation of its own bank.
As stated, Anglo was borrowing the money internationally which it then gave to IRA capo Sean Quinn and his hideous family to launder into Russia and Ukraine.
That's the reason Ireland entered the Third World overnight in the year 2008.
To facilitate the IRA's robbery of its own bank.
That's the reason we're impoverished.
That's the reason for the suicides.
That's the reason for the ruined lives.
That's the reason our towns and villages are run by IRA skang gangs such as the Hutch gang, the Kinahan mob, the McCarthy Dundon gang, et al. (Particularly Al. I hate him.)
Yes.
We've been bankrupted and a hundred generations of Irish people have been bankrupted, solely in order to cover up the IRA's organised collapsing of its own bank.
Earlier this year as mentioned above, Sean Quinn, using IRA hitmen to intimidate the American Fund managers who now own his former IRA front companies, had forced his way back into the same companies which he originally used as proxies for the IRA's illegal theft of billions of dollars disguised as loans to Sean Quinn.
Then a few weeks ago IRA capo Sean Quinn's spokesman Ronan McMurderer announced to the American Financial Institutions who now rightfully own those companies that Sean Quinn was "increasingly dissatisfied with his role as an advisor," and wanted to own the companies again.
The IRA mafia are a howl aren't they.
The subsequent public cynicism seems to have moderated their strategy however, hence today's faked departure of IRA capo Sean Quinn from the companies.
I tell you his removal is fake.
He has been permitted to retain a right of access to the headquarters of the companies he used to bankrupt Ireland on behalf of the drug dealing, people trafficking, child abusing, prostitution rackateering, bank robbing, society ruining, nation bankrupting, IRA.
So he's not gone.
He's still there.
In other news, the Chief of the Irish Police Force one Noirin O'Sullivan who stated a few months ago that she wasn't sure if the IRA existed or not, is also holding on to her job.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

greatest irish stand up comedians of our time

Judge Kevin O'Higgins: "Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. A funny thing happened to me on the way to the theatre. I was conducting an enquiry into corruption allegations against ex Chief Of Police Martin Callanan and ex Minister For Justice Alan Shatter. So I decided to declare that neither Martin Callanan or Alan Shatter are corrupt."
Audience: "Ha, ha, ha, ha."
Judge Kevin O'Higgins: "And because people would have risen up in arms if I'd slandered the honest police officer who exposed Martin Callanan and Alan Shatter's corruption, I declared that the honest police officer wasn't corrupt either, just prone to exaggeration."
Audience: "Wa. ha, ha, ha, ho,  ho, ho, hee, hee, heeeeeeeeeee."
Judge Kevin O'Higgins: "Thank you ladies and gentlemen. You're too kind. Well that's all from me. I'm off to spend my mafia bribes. Ha, ha, ha. Why aren't you laughing? Anyhoo. Our next comedian is a fine up and coming mafioso who's showing great promise in ending the rule of law in the Republic Of Ireland. Give a big round of applause to Get Out Of Jail Free Card himself, Judge Martin Nolan."
(Judge Martin Nolan enters to stony silence.)
Judge Martin Nolan: "Katanga ladies and germs. Katanga. A funny thing happened to me on the way to the theatre. I was presiding over the trial of four IRA embezzlers who single handedly put Ireland in the Third World overnight by systematically looting their own bank through illegal billion dollar loans to IRA capo Sean Quinn. So I lectured the Jury along the lines of how entitled to a fair trial these nation impoverishing IRA mafiosi were. And the irony is, I'm the Judge who jailed a fruit importer for six and a half years for mislabelling garlic as apples..."
(Still the audience is silent.)
Judge Martin Nolan: "Oh pooh to you. You'll all be sorry one day. You don't get away with ruining a Judge Martin Nolan routine by not laughing. Somehow, someday, someone is gonna pay. Nobody but nobody ----s with the Rah."
(He exits. IRA Archbishop Diarmuid Martin inches on stage, not too sure of the crowd's mood.)
Archie: "Er. we have to unite to fight against mafia activity?"
(Audience explodes with laughter. Ireland dies.)

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

revolution alley

(celebrating the 1916 Rising with the Heelers Diaries)

The oft toted myth that violence gets results should perhaps be questioned more. Join with me gentle philosophers of the internet. Let us look at one particular hero of 1916 and consider whether the psychopathology of his violence and the mythology of his heroism stand up to realistic scrutiny.

1. In 1916 Eamon DeValera took part in the Easter Rising leading the garrison at Bolands Mills. The Rising was inflicted on Ireland at a time when a quarter of a million Irishmen were serving in the British army. The Rising reduced the centre of Dublin to rubble.

2. Eamon DeValera then took part in the so called War of Independence from circa 1919 to circa 1922. The violence of the War of Independence was directed against Britain and against any Irish people who opposed or were thought to oppose the revolution against British rule.

3. Eamon DeValera then split with his fellow gunmen, half of whom now wanted to recognise the will of the Irish people in making peace. Eamon DeValera's IRA faction inflicted continuing mayhem on Ireland for another two years in a conflict known as the Civil War. This time their targets were any of their former comrades who wanted peace and any Irish people who also wanted peace. The British had left. The death toll in the Civil War is unknown. Murder became general all over Ireland. Although the Civil War is normally dated to the years 1922 and 1923, in reality DeValera and the IRA kept it going until circa 1930.

4. In the early 1930's Eamon DeValera set up the Fianna Fail political party to take part in democratic politics. He promptly won an election. His capacity to win elections continued through the 1940's and 1950's.

5. In the 1940's and 1950's the IRA began murdering soldiers and policemen and other citizens of the Ireland of which Eamon DeValera was now the elected leader. Eamon DeValera's solution to the IRA's murdering of his citizens was to hang IRA men wherever he found them. He killed more members of the IRA than the British ever did.

6. The IRA now functioning as an international drug dealing, people trafficking, prostitution rackateering, child abusing, mafia, itself continues to kill more Irishmen than the British ever did.