The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

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Not the Theme Tune to Casino Royale

Monday, September 02, 2013


A weekend in London.
I'd heard that General Tomlinson Smythe, an old war horse in his 90's, was dying and I wanted to see him.
A lot of these lads think they're dying until they get a visit from me and then they suddenly perk up.
Seriously though.
I arrived at Ponsonby Close and was shown into the living room where the General was reclining in an armchair with his feet on a little stool.
Various family members were britishly buzzing around tapping laptops, arranging furniture, or whatever, but they withdrew quietly and simultaneously when I sat down with their father.
The Brits really know how to withdraw.
If the Irish were trying to withdraw, they'd walk into doors, drop trays and trip over the dog.
But the Brits just quietly melt away.
They disperse.
Like some gas.
(Hey. - PG Wodehouse note)
(Homage. - Heelers note)
I'd often thought the General ran his family with military efficiency and this was a sure sign of it.
Classical music had been playing when I entered but as I sat down one of the departing daughters smoothly muted it.
The General greeted me and said at once: "I'm waiting for God to take me."
I said: "I'm a bit surprised you would say that. You look so vital."
The General said: "I just want to go. I'm asking God to take me now."
I said: "He might have more work for you to do."
"It's all done."
"Maybe he wants you to stay around for a while just to give your family a chance to love you a bit more. They're only getting their hand in. Up to now you've been minding them. They might need a little extra time with you."
He was silent.
I went on: "And he might want you to take this time to savour the harvest. After a lifetime in the service of the lord, he might just want you to stop and count the victories he has sent you for his glory. He might want you to be still for a moment and think about what you have done by his grace. He might want you to know before you leave, that he thinks you did a good job."
I got up, shook his hand and walked outside without a farewell to the family.
There wouldn't be a problem.
They were true Brits.
They knew the score.
In the street London engulfed me once more.

the earth is afire with mysteries
the truth i bring you friends
through the temples of our shabbiness
walk ghost men

I of course mean me.

obloquys for seamus heaney

(Heelers may mean obsequies - Ed note.)
Seamus Heaney was given a send off today at the Church of the Holy Liberal Atheists, in Donnybrook, Dublin.
An audience drawn from the ranks of abortionist atheistic contrareceiving life in test tubes promoting euthanasist hoor masters from the Stalinist State broadcaster RTE were joined by their hoors for a ceremony that must surely have provoked cheers all over the seventh ring of hell.
There was a certain irony in the make up of the congregation at this particular funeral.
For RTE has of course refused to retract its latest malign attempt to frame a Catholic cleric for child abuse even after the family of the man RTE had framed obtained evidence appearing to exonerate him.
The latest victim was conveniently deceased when RTE framed him but his family have done a little research, and the African person RTE had paid to claim to be a sex abuse victim has refused to attend a formal hearing to back up his allegations.
In addition the African person RTE paid to frame the deceased cleric has said his statements about the cleric were misquoted by RTE.
In addition the fellow students of the person paid by RTE to frame the deceased cleric, have given official statements asserting that no such abuse took place.
And RTE still hasn't pointed out to the general public that RTE's attempt to frame the deceased cleric was utterly malicious and utterly false and has now been exposed as an utter sham.
By the way, the RTE staffers responsible for paying the lying African to frame the deceased cleric have not been identified.
Nor should we forget that this situation comes hot on the heels of RTE's failed attempt to frame another Catholic priest using exactly the same methods.
In that instance RTE made the mistake of bribing an African to make a false rape claim against a certain Father Kevin Reynolds, in addition to claiming that Father Kevin Reynolds had fathered a child with her, the mistake being that RTE contrived this frame up while Father Kevin Reynolds was still alive and Father Kevin Reynolds obtained a quarter million dollar damages settlement from RTE, when the African person that RTE had paid to frame him retracted her testimony after first refusing to take a blood test which would have confirmed that Father Kevin Reynolds was not the father of her baby and then supposedly having taken the test which did indeed prove she was a miserable perjuring lying RTE hireling hound.
The general public have been compelled to pay RTE's damages to Father Kevin Reynolds through compulsory taxation by our Stalinist government.
RTE frames yet another innocent Catholic priest for child rape, gets caught doing it, and we all pay the bills.
The wheel is rigged and it's the only game in town.
Come back Anglo Irish Bank, all is forgiven.
And today we have the grand anti Catholic atheistic panjandrums of RTE cramming Donnybrook Church to pose and preen at Seamus Heaney's mockery of a funeral, presided over by a couple of tame Padres who seem to have forgotten entirely their duty to God and to the Church and to the Truth and last of all to their priestly colleagues even now being falsely framed for child abuse by this hoormaster RTE congregation of hypocrites assembled here before our eyes.
I couldn't help wondering mildly what lifelong atheist  Seamus Heaney's corpse was doing in a Catholic Church anyway, even one as debased as that at Donnybrook.
And lo!
Up the aisle swanked Archbishop Diarmuid Martin.
Archie placed a Bible on lifelong atheist Seamus Heaney's coffin.
Archie said: "He spent his life among words and so it is right that we place these words there."
The Bible, mark you.
Not Das Kapital.
I found the whole thing quite quaint.

intelligence briefing

In Attendance: President Barack Obama.
                         Plus Joint Chiefs Of Staff.

James Healy: "You see Barack, when Vladimir Putin detonates a small scale nuclear device in the Mediterranean, the oceans will boil, our warships and the USS Nimitz will melt, and our heroes will die in their boats. Then you'll be left blaming President Bush for World War Three which will surely result. Don't do it. John McCain and Lindsey Graham are dining out on past glories. When the Bushwhacker went to war he always made sure, through his personal contacts with the psychopathic Mr Putin, that Russia was not available as a rogue card. You don't have the same relationship with the psychopathic Mr Putin. Don't... Do... It..."


A children's home called Haut La Garenne on the island of Jersey is under investigation.
Allegations have emerged of serial sexual abuse, ritual violations, rapes and murders, taking place at the home.
The large number of allegations along with several other items of evidentiary information which have come into the public domain, point to many decades of violation, abuse, rape and murder of children at Haut La Garenne.
My analysis is that Haut La Garenne was used by a satanic cult for the ritual abuse of children.
My analysis is that this cult involves many levels of society on the island of Jersey, including political and law enforcement figures as well as prominent members of the business community.
I am disquieted by the manner in which the investigation is being handled.
I am disquieted that all members of staff who have at any time worked at Haut La Garenne have not been arrested, detained and interrogated.
I am disquieted that the senior officer investigating the case has been removed from the investigation.
I am disquieted at the manner in which the new senior officer investigating the case has dismissed many of the more serious allegations.
I do not believe the current investigators are seeking the truth.
I call on all men and women of good will to boycott the island of Jersey.
I call on all men and women of good will to boycott the products, people, industries, and holday resorts of the island of Jersey.
I call on David Cameron Prime Minister of Great Britain to take personal responsibility for the investigation.
I call on Queen Elizabeth the Second to intervene directly in this case, so that the murdered, raped, violated and ritually sacrificed children of Haut La Garenne will at last receive some form of justice.
There is no excuse for acquiescing in the child murders, rapes, ritual satanic sacrifices and sundry other tortures and violations, which have taken place at Haut La Garenne on the island of Jersey before the eyes of the world.
End this.
Bring the murderers to account.
Do it England.

the rocky murdocks picture show

The screen is dark.
A disembodied male voice sings as the opening credits appear in the blackness.
The voice is plaintive, poignant and oddly beautiful.


The Voice: (singing)
"I remember the chill
The day Newsweek stood still
Claiming US troops flushed Korans down the jax
And Piers Morgan was there
In silver underwear
Cheerleading the Jihadi attacks.
Then something went wrong
For Rupert Murdock and his son
They got caught in a phone tapping jam
And at a deadly pace
It came from outer space
And this is how the message ran.
Science Fiction
Ooh, oooh, oooh
Double feature.
George Bush is a liar
Tony Blair's his creature
See Jihadis fighting
Not terrorists but insurgents
And lots of talk about quagmires
It's all so urgent
Woh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
Woh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
I remember the sorrow
When the New York Times had to borrow
Five hundred million from a Sanchez named Slim
And the Washington Post
Soon gave up the ghost
And told us that Al Qaeda would win
Then something went weirder
For Piers Morgan at the Mirror
He published fake torture photos just to pay his bills
But I really stepped back
When Lukwesa Burak
Got a haircut that spits poison and kills
In a
Science Fiction
Wooh oooh oooh
Double feature
Rupert Murdock
Oooh oooh oooh
We'll build a creature
See lawyers fighting
At the Leveson Enquiry
And Adam Bolton wondering
Why the hell don't they fire me
Woh oh oh oh oh oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture Show
Woh oh oh oh oh oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
At the late night
Woo ooh ooh
Sky News feature
Picture show
Woh oh oh oh
I wanna go oh oh oh
To the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
Oh oh oh oh oh
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show


(Camera cuts to the interior of a Starbucks cafe in South London. It is the Starbucks where Jannat Jalil from Sky News has her morning espresso. James Healy is at a table eyeing Jannat. She, being a fan of the Heelers Diaries, knows well he is stalking her. He approaches her table tentatively.)

James: Jannat.
Jannat: Yes James.
James: (awkwardly) I really admired the elegant way,
                               You read the evening news,
                               On Sky the other day.
Jannat: Yes James.
James: Jannat.
Jannat: Yes James.

(Music starts. Other diners sing the part of the Chorus.)

James: The road was long but I ran it.
Chorus: Jannat!
James: The river was broad but I swam it
Chorus: Jannat!
James: I've one thing to say
           And that's dammit Jannat, I love you.
           Here's the ring and now you'll never look back
           True I may have a pot belly and a saggy butt
           But my love for you is deeper than for Lukwesa Burak
           She spoilt her chances with that haircut, tut tut
Jannat: This ring is flashier than Kay Burleigh's mind games.
Chorus: Oh James
Jannat: It fills my heart with passion and sultry flames
Chorus: Oh James
Jannat: And I've one thing to say, and that's James, I'm insane for you too.
James: Dammit Jannat.
Jannat: Oh James, I'm insane.
James: Dammit Jannat.
Jannat: Oh James, I'm insane.
James: Dammit Jannat.
Jannat: Oh James, I'm insane.
James and Jannat: (together) I love you.


(Camera cuts to a country road on a dark night. James and Jannat are driving through the rain. The car runs out of petrol. The two sit for a moment in silence.)

Jannat: What kind of man doesn't fill his car with petrol before a long journey?
James: I never put more than ten Euro's worth in the tank.
Jannat: Why?
James: Well I wanted to punish the government for imposing punitive taxation rates on petrol. And I wanted to punish the garages for failing to organise an effective lobby to stop the government imposing this tax. And I wanted to punish the oil conglomerates for trying to corner the market in oil through forward buying, thereby driving the price of a barrel of oil to 100 dollars when it should be less than ten, and perpetually gambling that the price of oil will rise and then forcing it to do so through their astonomical borrowings from collapsed idiot banks. And I wanted to punish the Arabs and the OPEC organisation for operating an illegal oil cartel against the rest of humanity. All of these corrupt vested interest groups have traded on the notion that we will never respond to their price gouging. They have waxed fat on the idea that oil is not a price sensitive commodity. We have allowed them to believe that we will buy their oil no matter what they charge. This is a very negative delusion to encourage in governments, garages or Arabs. It is apt to confuse them.
Jannat: So you punished them by stranding us.
James: Er yes.
Jannat: Oh James.
James: Oh Jannat.
Jannat: I think I might be Muslim.
James: What's that?
Jannat: Nothing. Let's go search for help.


(Camera cuts to the two now walking along the roadside in the rain. They are making their way towards a castle in the distance which has a light shining in a single window. The music kicks in.)

Jannat: (singing)
In the velvet darkness
Of the blackest night
No matter where
There's a guiding light

James & Jannat: (singing together)
There's a light
Over at the Murdock place
There's a ligh-igh-igh-ight
Burning in the fireplace
There's a ligh-igh-igh-ight
In the darkness
Of every night

(Camera cuts to the window of the castle. Sky News Overseas foreign affairs correspondent Tim Marshall is sitting at the window watching the rain. Tim Marshall has in the past year been sent to report from Libya, Egypt, Syria, in fact from every trouble spot in the world where there is even the remotest chance he might get killed. An uncharitable observer might conclude that someone at Sky is trying to kill him.)

Tim Marshall: (singing)
The darkness must glow
Down the river of my dreaming
Until Kay Burleigh goes
The sun cannot come streaming
Into my life
Into my ligh-igh-igh- ife

(Camera returns to James and Jannat)

James & Jannat:
There's a light
Over at the Murdock place
There's a ligh-igh-igh-ight
It's burning in the fireplace
There's ligh-igh-igh-ight
In the darkness
Of every night


(Camera cuts to James and Jannat knocking on the door of Castle Murdock. The door opens to reveal Kevin Murdock (son of Rupert) dressed as the character Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Behind him we can see Rebekkah Wade, formerly Managing Director at News International, dressed as a sexy maid.)

James: Our car broke down.
Riff Raff: You've come on a very important night. The master is having one of his affairs.
James: You mean now he's cheating on Wendy Deng?
Jannat: Shhh.
Riff Raff: I think perhaps you'd better come inside.


(Scene: Castle interior. A group of garishly dressed guests have congregated. James and Jannat stare as without warning Riff Raff bursts into a most infectious musical number. The other party guests join in at just the right places.)

Riff Raff:
I remember
Doing the Truth Warp
Those moments when
People gave us direct debit access to their personal bank accounts
To pay for Sky Channel
Let's do the News International again.
Let's bribe the police force again.
It's just a jump to the left
And a step to the righ-igh-igh-ight
You put your hands on your hips
And bring your knees in tigh-igh-ight
But it's tapping people's phones
That really knocks you insa-a-a-a-ane
Let's do the Truth Warp again
Let's do the News Corp again
It's just a jump to the left.
And a step to the righ-igh-igh-ight
You bribe the Chief of Police
And bring your knees in tigh-igh-ight
But it's owning the law
That really knocks us insa-a-a-a-ane
Let's do the News Corp again
Lets bribe the police force again

(Riff Raff and the partygoers collapse in an exhausted heap. James and Jannat don't quite know what to do. Although James has appreciated the verve of the performance and is clapping vigorously.)

Jannat: Let's get out of here.
James: Nonsense. It's just getting good. Let's stay and see what happens next.
Jannat: This is not the Athy Chamber of Commerce James.
James: (With infinitely smug middle class political correctness) They're probably just Muslims with ways different from our own.
Jannat: I'm cold. I'm frightened. And I'm just plain scared. Oh. And I think I'm a Muslim too.
James: (Still infinitely smug and middle class and not really taking anything in.) Don't worry darling. We all are. Now stop being frightened. I'm here. Nothing can possibly go wrong. If we're lucky, in a moment maybe these simple country folk will perform some more shameless parodies from the Rocky Horror Picture Show for our amusement.


(As James and Jannat are talking the other party goers and Riff Raff have slowly revived and risen to their feet. Suddenly, a door bursts open behind Jannat's shoulder. Rupert Murdock struts in. Jannat faints. James looks enthused. Rupert launches into his trademark song.)

Not another wordo
I'm Rupert Murdo
And he's... (indicating Riff Raff)
My faithful maitre delice
He's a little brought down
Because when you knocked
He thought you were the
Chief of Police
Don't get strung out
By the way I look
Don't judge a company by its corrupt corporate management
I may look 86 years old
By the light of day
But at night I look positively indigent
I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly Ineffective

James: (rapping and breaking any number of copyrights held by Jim Sharman and Richard O'Brien)
I'm glad we caught you at home
May we use your phone
We're both in a bit of a hurry
We'll just say where we are
And then get back to the car
We don't want to be any worry

Rupert: (singing)
So you got caught with a breakdown
In the middle of my shakedown
Don't you panic
Even if Jannat dumps you
I'll find a more exotic broad to hump you
I'll get you a satanic Hispanic
Cos I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly Ineffective
Sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective

(Rupert pauses to drink a cup of water. A man emerges from the chorus and throws a pie at him. The pie is neatly deflected by Wendy Deng who quickly hustles the would be assailant away while whaling the living tripe out of him with a metal dish.)

Rupert: (rapping)
Why don't you stay for the night
You could both have a bite
I won't tolerate any... dissension
I've been building a corrupt corporate media monopoly
You know with fake oversight from a board of directors who are all related to me
And they're good to relieve my... tension
I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective
Sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective
Don't get strung out
Because I bought the police
Don't judge a corrupt police buying company
By its corrupt corporate management
I may seem to buy a lot of cops
By the light of day
But at night
I get positively extravagant
Because I'm your sweet Chief Executive
From sweetly ineffective

(Rupert changes tack suddenly and incomprehensibly)

Rupert: (singing)
The transducer will seduce ya.
You're a sensual attapensual
When we tapped your phones
Did you hear a bell ring???
You better wise up
Lord Leveson
You better shape those thighs up
And close those eyes up
I've got a gun
And I'm launching a Sunday Sun

Charles Grey: Until she cried out...

Jannat: Allah U Akbar.

(The music stops. Everyone turns and stares. Some of the more ghoulish extras cower a bit. Jannat somewhat guiltily puts her hands over her lips and looks apologetic. By the way, I challenge anyone to discern what those lines about a sensual attapensual were in the original Rocky Horror Show movie. Not since Peter Sarstead sang about lowly bontags in Where Do You Go To My Lovely, has there been such an incomprehensible vaguely obscene lyric. Or how about the bit, again in the original Rocky Horror, when Rupert sang: "How do ya do, I'm... Field Mabs Meim... faithful handyman." What the heck is Field Mabs Meim? The enigmas endure.)


(The awkward moment following Rupert's song and Jannat's exclamation is brought to a halt by Riff Raff drawing a ray gun and vapourising Rupert. Rebekkah Wade is upset by this turn of events.)

Rebekkah: Why did you do that? I thought you liked him. He liked you.

Riff Raff: (With infantile fury) He never liked me. And it was time for him to go. Heelers has clearly run out of steam. He's just lifting lines from the Rocky Horror Show. There aren't even any jokes.

(Riff Raff and Rebekkah turn slowly and threateningly towards James and Jannat)

Riff Raff: (With preternatural menace) You two had better leave us. My beautiful Rebekkah get ready. We return to Tasmania immediately. Prepare the transit beam.

(James and Jannat, having seen the Rocky Horror Show, know it's time to flee the building.)

Scene: Castle exterior. James and Jannat fall in the mud and continue scrambling towards the gate. Behind them a spectacular Truth Warp bathes the News International HQ in mystic police investigations. Presently the entire building vanishes. Gone. On a voodoo wind. Back to Tasmania. For a moment on the cold night air it is almost as if you can hear the voice of former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie hissing: "A hundred and seventy police officers investigating us. That's more than investigated Lockerbie. Cor blimey. Worra waste. Cor Bliiiiiimmmmmaaaiiiieeeee." James and Jannat are left alone in the dirt. A voiceover kicks in. It is Charles Grey whom we met very briefly and inexplicably during the last song, now reprising his career best performance as the Criminologist in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Charles Grey: (intoning)
And crawling
On the planet face
Some insects
Called the human race
Not members of the Board of News International
And not entitled to any dignity or respect or grace
Or indeed help from the police in the event that Rupert Murdock's staff, agents or companies assail, assault, violate, transgress, phone tap, kill, rape, burglarise, conduct posthumous show trials (like they did with Jimmy Saville to distract public attention from the Leveson Enquiry), or otherwise mitigate our rights in any way before the law
Even though
Cor blimey
We don't even let the police hack the phones of Jihadis
And Murdock's crew were doing it as a matter of course
To all of us
Cor blimey
We're all lost
Lost in time
And lost in space
And meaning


The screen goes dark. The plaintive male voice from the opening credits returns to sing over the closing credits. The lyrics of the closing refrain are even more poignant than before. If that's possible.

The Voice: (singing)
There was once something rare
About Lukwesa Burak's hair
It made me want to grab her and kiss
I dreamed that we might
Run away in the night
But now I think I'll give it a miss
And Lisa Holland drove round
Old Tripoli town
With Saif Gadaffi sitting on her knee
And Rebekkah Wade
Was a sexy maid
She was
At least she worked for me
In a
Science Fiction
Double Feature
Rupert Murdock
We'll build a creature
See Alistair Campbell fighting
With Adam Bolton
Who's turning puce
And now quite molten
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
I really was there
For Adam Bolton's live melt down on air
When Alistair Campbell straightened his tie
And young Wendy Deng
Had developed a yen
For a billionaire 86 year old man
Then something went wrong
For Osama Bin Laden
He was caught in a special forces commando raid
And at a deadly pace
He got shot in the face
And this is what his last message said
Science fiction
Oooh oooh ooh
The Leveson Enquiry
Corrupt policeman
Massive bribery
See Freemasons fighting
James and Jannat
And the Murdock Family stars in
Forbidden planet
At the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
I wanna go
To the late night
Sky News feature
Picture show
To the late night
Double feature
Sky News movie
Picture show

Sunday, September 01, 2013

barack in wonderland

President Barack Obama of the USA, announced today: "I know some people are worried because of the longevity of the conflict in Afghanistan. I know some people are suspicious about our commitment in Iraq. But the engagement in Syria will be a limited one."
Barack made his career out of falsely criminalising President Bush's strong actions against Nazi regimes in Afghanistan and Iraq.
It is hard for Barack to admit that anyone could have reservations about something he himself might do now, without blaming those reservations on the President he sought to destroy merely to advance his own career during a time of war.
Here is the news Barack.
Al Qaeda has hijacked the formerly legitimate rebellion in Syria.
Al Qaeda has murdered far more people all over the world in far less humane ways, ie by hacking their heads off while they're still alive and conscious, than have been purportedly killed by the Assad Regime using chemical weapons.
Al Qaeda have blinded more schoolgirls with acid, than Syrian President Assad ever did.
(In fact the Syrian President is accused of a grand total of nought schoolgirl blindings.)
If you go into Syria, you are installing Al Qaeda as the government of that country.
Vladimir Putin, the psychopathic resovietising President of Russia, has said he will not let you do it.
So if you go into Syria on behalf of Al Qaeda, you will be lining the world up for a war with Putin's Russia.
Many many people oppose this Barack.
And our analysis has nothing to do with your ongoing attempts to criminalise Mr Bush.
Thank you for your time.

tributes to the late seamus heaney

"Seamus Heaney is dead," said Monty Baines.
"Ah, it was a blessed release," I replied straight faced, "for all of us."

ireland narco mafia state


1. Drug gangs, people traffickers, and Islamists, are currently dividing Ireland up into personal fiefdoms.

2. The main crime gangs engaged in the subversion of the Irish State are: Members of the supposedly defunct communist terror army formerly styled the IRA, members of the Muslim supremacist organisation styled Al Qaeda, Nigerian people traffickers (The Nigerians routinely use black magic to cow the people they are trafficking into prostitution), Chinese Triads, old Italian Mafias, along with new Russian, new Lithuanian and other new Eastern European Mafias. A supposed ethnic minority in Ireland, self styled as The Travellers, and formerly known simply as The Tinkers, has also produced some significantly evil players on the crime scene. Irish police say that two main Traveller families based in Dublin have become synonomous with criminal activities all over Ireland. Traveller crime families are coalescent with the IRA.

3. The connection between fascist Islamists and communist terror armies has dated from the time the IRA were training at terror camps run by Colonel Gadaffi in the 1980's. Al Qaeda has created a more recent and direct liaison with European and South American communist terror groups, including the Irish IRA, the Basque separatists Eta and the Colombian Farc. This coalescence and cooperation has been fuelled by Al Qaeda's need to find markets for its heroin and cocaine. There have been Muslim conversions among the FARC.

4. In Ireland the newly coalescent Mafias have moved in on Dublin's taxi trade. To the shame of the police and licencing authorities, gangsters have been given licences to operate their own taxis. The real annexation of the taxi trade has taken place behind closed doors through intimidation, terror and murder. The Mobsters hijacking of Dublin's taxi trade is reminiscent of the former IRA's business practices in Northern Ireland, where for decades the thug terror army ran the Black Taxis of Belfast and used them as a mobile transport corps for their murderous activities.

5. The new element in all this exploding narco criminality is the Al Qaeda element. Alone among the hoodlums hijacking Ireland, Al Qaeda has a political vision and the will to implement it.

6. Al Qaeda's political vision for Ireland and the Irish is that the entire populace shall be terrorised and enslaved to Islamic Nazism.

7. The new Mafias and the old ones who are together hijacking Ireland as we speak, benefit greatly from their liaisons with corrupt police officers.

8. The new Mafias favour the use of teenagers and pre teens for moving drugs, vandalism, and other harassment activities. They use teenagers and thugs in their twenties as militias projecting fear and intimidation in towns and villages across Ireland. The Mafias favour the use of children and teenagers as these can often function below the radar of what passes for law enforcement in Ireland.

9. The societal dynamic being unleashed across Ireland by this dark alliance of IRA, Al Qaeda, Triad, Russian/Nigerian/Italian mafia  murderers, psychopaths, drug dealers, rapists, kidnappers, pimps and child abusers, is IDENTICAL to that which the Italian Mafias unleashed on Italy a generation ago. Italy is now a failed State. Its young people wish only to escape from it. Its corporations are owned and controlled by gangsters. No aspiring businessman can so much as open a shop without permission from a murdering racketeer. Whole swathes of the countryside and cities are effectively governed by nameless faceless killers who pull the  strings of elected politicians. For Italy the Mafia brought a new dark ages.

10. They're doing the same thing here. Now.

the scum are on the streets

Coffee with Ron Baines.
"You know," he said, "that nobody can open a shop in Dublin now without paying protection money to the gangsters?"
My mind flew to a conversation I'd had back in the 1980's with a young banking executive.
The first of the Dublin crime families were flooding the city with heroin at the time.
I had said to the banker: "I hope you people aren't paying protection money to drug scum in order to get permission to open your banks in Dublin city."
The bank official had replied: "Sure if you don't pay, you can't open."
I had then said: "If you people are bowing to drug scum already, our children will end up having to ask drug scum for permission to walk down the street."
So it has come to pass.

tributes to the late seamus heaney

"All day people were coming into the shop," said Uncle Scutch. "They'd all heard of him. They all knew he was a poet. They all knew he'd won a Nobel Prize. Not one of them could quote anything he wrote."

Friday, August 30, 2013


Breezed into my feminist cousin Pauline's organic food store full of the joys.
Inside I found Pauline and her amanuensis Siobhan sitting quietly.
Both seemed deeply moved by something.
"Have you heard?" whispered Pauline all Maud Gonne McBride.
"Heard what?" I replied, thinking Putin must have nuked the Sixth Fleet.
"Heaney is dead," breathed Pauline soulfully.
"Ah for crying out loud," I exclaimed. "I thought it was something important. I nearly wet myself there."
"So you didn't hear?"
"Well okay, I switched on the car radio looking for news of the Syrian War. I wanted to know if Barack and David Cameron have decided we should go to war with Russia on behalf of Al Qaeda, and this RTE half wit intoned as the main news headline: Seamus Heaney is dead. And I switched off the radio. Okay. So I admit it. I did know."
"I thought you respected Heaney," quoth Pauline.
"That doesn't sound like something I'd do," sez me.
"As a fellow poet," persisted Pauline.
"Poets are the harshest judges of other poets," I told her, "mostly we can't stand each other."
"But what about the fellowship of art?" sez she.
"Nerts to that," quoth me. "The only artistic fellowship I've ever enjoyed is with the sheepdog and the budgies."
I peered closely at Pauline and Siobhan.
They were seated at the counter but not in any mode or stance that could be interpreted as a readiness to sell vegetables to customers.
With horror, I beheld several collections of Seamus Heaney poems spread out in front of them.
Apparently they'd been holding an impromptu recital and retrospective in honour of the great man.
"Bloody hell," I murmured with some restraint when I realised what they were at. "Are those Heaney poems? You'd better be careful. One of those things might go off."
Pauline didn't seem to have heard.
"Brigadier Berrigan rang me this morning to let me know," she explained dreamily. "It was kind of lovely. The two of us, different age groups, different backgrounds, different lives, just talking about what Heaney meant to us."
"I thought it was lovely too when I heard," I agreed, "but probably for different reasons to you and the Brigadier."
Pauline was growing ever more dreamy.
"My Dad brought me to a Heaney reading in Boston when I was six years old," she maundered. "It was the first poetry recital I ever attended."
"Had you done something bad?" I enquired. "Did he bring you as a punishment?"
Pauline raised one of the books.
"This poem is called Exposure," she said softly.
I thought there was an undercurrent of threat in her voice, ie that she might be thinking of reading it to me.
But something held me rooted to the spot.
A macarbre fascination perhaps, or an evil power.
"Is it one of his watery ones?" I asked innocently. "There's always a lot of water in Heaney poems. Rivulets. Streams. Drips. General Dampness. Moist wetness. Oceans. Puddles. Patinas of puddles mixed with generally damp oceans wetly washing against the absolutely soaking wet sea shore. Water, water, everywhere, I think I need a drink. It gushes, flows, and positively oozes out of every verse. Dank, dank, dank. By which I mean, no danks. Now stop that Pauline. I already read one in 1985. By the way, Brigadier Berrigan knows General Dampness personally, doesn't he? I think they used to work together before Dampness left the Irish army and became batman for Seamus Heaney."
Swept away by some strange mystic lack of taste, Pauline had already started to declaim.
She recited:

"It is December in Wicklow:
Alders dripping, birches
Inheriting the last light,
The ash tree cold to look at."

I was out the door before she got to the second verse, heading towards the Coulan CafĂ© in search of pork chops.
We all have our own ways of mourning.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

you the jury

Something called Martina Devlin wrote a passionate opinion piece feature article this week in something styling itself the Irish Independent newspaper.
Her subject was the Dublin Lockout.
The Dublin Lockout was a workers' strike which bouleversed Ireland a century ago this month in the year of our lord 1913.
During the strike, a coterie of Ireland's employers appear to have banded together in an attempt to starve out the workers.
Martina Devlin's column blazed with righteous indignation.
But the targets of her magnificent tirade were not the neo feudalist bosses nor yet the firebrand trade unionists who between brought a city and a country to its knees.
Her targets were elsewhere.
Martina Devlin, writing of the Dublin Lockout, reserved her sneering disdain for what she claimed was the behaviour of Catholic Bishops during the strike. She asserted that the Bishops had sought to prevent the children of Dublin being evacuated to Britain for fear that the children would be exposed to Protestant versions of Christianity.
I'm gonna have to ask for a Judges ruling on this one.
Martina Devlin writes for the Irish Independent.
I won't say "Martina Devlin works for the Irish Independent," because the Irish Independent is bankrupt and its staff are effectively glorified social welfare recipients, ie social welfare recipients without the integrity to admit they are social welfare recipients like the rest of us. No work is done in this newspaper. People whose writings are of no journalistic merit are paid astronomical salaries through the largesse of the State in order to pretend to be journalists. Interestingly enough, the staff at Independent Newspapers are much agitated about what they believe are overly generous social welfare payments to those of us who honestly and honourably admit to being without paid work. But I digress.
Martina Devlin writes for the Irish Independent.
She does no work.
And in 1913 the Irish Independent's then owner William Martin Murphy was the kingpin behind the bosses' cabal which sought to starve out the workers of Dublin.
And Martina Devlin is telling us now how disgusted she is with the behaviour she attributes to Catholic Bishops of that era.
I find the whole thing quite quaint.

did jimmy saville commit child abuse as is being alleged by the bankrupt daily mirror newspaper and the viewerless itv television station in conjunction with rupert murdock's congenitally corrupt news corps international, who happen to be owners of sky news, the fox channel, the times of London, the super soaraway phone tapping sun, and the wall street journal no less

(First published October 2012)

1. There is some precedent for false allegations of rape and or child abuse.

2. The primary accusation, the main one, against the deceased broadcaster Jimmy Savile (the accusation of rape) is being disseminated for profit by Mirror Group Newspapers, ITV and other media organisations including the two thousand million dollar bankruptee Daily Mail. The primary accusation comes from a woman who claims Jimmy Savile raped her in 1963. Without this accusation the other accusations being trafficked by these bankrupt media groups amount to nothing more than typical opportunistic tabloid profiteering inuendo against a celebrity who cannot sue them because he is dead. The to date still anonymous supposed rape victim is claiming that she was raped fifty years ago by a man who is not around to answer her claims. Her claim specifically is that she went as Chairperson of an Elvis Presley fan club to Jimmy Savile's hotel room in 1963 to collect Elvis Presley memorabalia, and that he raped her in his hotel room during this visit. She claims that his hotel room was beside the hotel reception desk but that she did not cry out because she was scared. These claims would be improbable if she made them about something that she said happened today involving a human being who was still alive. Her claim that all this happened fifty years ago with a celebrity who is dead, is tremendously convenient for her and for the Mirror Group and for ITV and for the other bankrupt media organisations disseminating her claims for profit. She further claims she was sixteen years old at the time and working as a secretary. She claims she became pregnant with Jimmy Savile's baby after what she claims was a single rape in his hotel room. Ever more conveniently she claims she aborted Jimmy Savile's baby. So there's no child for a DNA test. Abortion became legal in Britain four years after she claims to have aborted Jimmy Savile's baby. Convenient again, because it means there are no medical records to confirm she was ever carrying anyone's baby in 1963, let alone Jimmy Savile's. Because she still refuses to be identified, it is impossible to conduct even very basic tests as to her credibility, although she does satisfy the famous Esther Rantzen standard of credibilty with regard to women claiming to have been raped. That is to say she is a woman accusing a deceased man of raping her. That's enough for Esther Rantzen. Neither the Mirror Group nor ITV have revealed how much they are paying her to say what she is saying about Jimmy Savile. I am deeply disquieted about this.

3. False allegations of rape and or child abuse have been made frequently over the past forty years. Motives for these range from spite to attention seeking, from envy to the profit motive.

4. False allegations of rape and or child abuse have been made even more frequently over the past thirty years against celebrities.

5. False allegations of rape and or child abuse are made most frequently of all against celebrities or famous people who also happen to be Christian.

6. When James Anderton was Chief Constable of Manchester he had a public persona as a fierce uncompromising upholder of the law and as a Christian. Some of his colleagues in the Greater Manchester Police Force attempted to attach suspicion to Chief Constable James Anderton as a suspect in the Yorkshire Ripper Murders case. The allegation against Mr Anderton is generally accepted to have been utterly without foundation. Of course when a slander of this sort is perpetrated, it's well nigh impossible to establish with one hundred percent certainty the innocence of the man being falsely accused. Careers are destroyed along with reputations. James Anderton was still alive when his colleagues and others attempted to destroy his career by suggesting, solely based on their own distaste for Christianity, that he was the sort of man who would turn out to be the murderer. The contrived and baseless allegations against him are considered the high water mark of prejudice against Christians in public life in Britain. Remember. The allegations were formulated by fellow police officers.

7. There is a profit motive for bankrupt newspapers to frame celebrities for child abuse. The only safe targets are dead celebrities who cannot sue.

8. The Sunday Mirror and the Daily Mirror are bankrupt newspapers and part of a bankrupt media group. The group is believed to have associations with bankrupt Irish media baron Tony O'Reilly who himself has a publishing deal with British porn baron Richard Desmond. The Mirror also certainly has some sort of collaborative working relationship with Rupert Murdock's News Corp International Group, the owners of Sky Television. Former Mirror Group chief Robert Maxwell was found floating dead in the ocean some years ago having apparently looted the Mirror Group pension funds. Mr Maxwell's death was dismissed by investigators as a suicide. The bona fides of the Mirror Group, its employees, and its associates at ITV are deeply suspect as is their motivation in the present case.

9. The Mirror group has PREVIOUS for falsely framing people for non existent crimes in order to bump up its negligible readership. Management, journalists and staff members at the Daily Mirror itself have repeatedly engaged in behaviours of an opprobrious, dishonorable and illegal nature.

10. A few years ago, the bankrupt Daily Mirror knowingly published faked photos in order to falsely allege that British troops had committed war crimes against Muslim Jihadis. The faked photos were published on the cover of the Daily Mirror in an attempt to bump up its declining sales. The faked photos had been staged to show fake British soldiers urinating on fake Muslim Jihadis. The publication of these photos was a boon for Al Qaeda in Iraq and Afghanistan as well as for the worldwide Muslim Jihadi terror war against humanity.

11. A few years ago the bankrupt Daily Mirror was caught publishing stock market tips in order to inflate the prices of shares which its editor and journalists were buying in advance of the Daily Mirror's recommendations for those same shares. The public were being falsely induced to buy shares already owned by Daily Mirror staff. The Daily Mirror's management and staff had engaged in this fraud for a number of years, possibly decades.

12. A British parliamentarian has stated in the House Of Commons, that the Daily Mirror has for many years routinely hacked into the phones of private citizens. The British parliamentarian asserts that this practice was endemic under now disgraced (and fired) editor Piers Morgan who also oversaw the share tipping scam and the publication of fake Iraq War torture photos at the same newspaper. Interestingly enough, such behaviour has proved no limitation on Piers Morgan's career. Following his disgrace at the Daily Mirror, Piers Morgan was hired by CNN to present a prime time current affairs chat show.

13. It seems likely beyond a a reasonable doubt that the Daily Mirror, like other corrupt British and Irish media groups, also routinely purchased and ran police officers through bribery and patronage. I say that this bribery by the Mirror Group seems likely beyond reasonable doubt, simply because it has become an open secret in journalistic circles in the British Isles, that all the major newspaper groups have been routinely purchasing bent coppers, or turning coppers into bent coppers by so purchasing them. My sources in the Irish police have informed me that sometimes newspaper journalists in Ireland will hear about a murder case from high ranking police officers in a particular region before the regional police have themselves been informed. This sort of open secret about organised media corruption of the police is based on real evidence against living media group executives and personnel who are engaged in an outrageous subversion of the process of law within our democracies. My supposition about the systematic bribery of the police by corrupt near bankrupt media groups, is therefore literally about one thousand times more credible than the invidious unsupported innuendo based suppositions currently being propagated by the Mirror Group about the deceased broadcaster Jimmy Saville. The use of a retired police officer to front the Daily Mirror ITV television programme attacking the deceased broadcaster Jimmy Saville, is not reassuring.

14. The Daily Mirror newspaper group, and its staff, would not be accepted either as witnesses or investigators of child abuse in any court of law on earth.

15. Several individuals being quoted this week in Mirror Group news articles accusing Jimmy Saville of child abuse were themselves party to the contrivance and broadcasting of those accusations as part of a television programme for an organisation styling itself ITV. The articles in the Mirror Group publications do not make clear that Esther Rantzen et al, were party to the programme in which the accusations against a dead celebrity are being peddled.

16. The testimony of anonymous supposed broadcasters against Jimmy Saville being proffered by the Mirror Group is unacceptable. If these supposed broadcasters (we have only the Mirror's word that they exist) cannot even put their names to their innuendos, their testimony becomes nothing less than invidious.

17. Colleen Nolan, a former teenager singer who appeared on the Top Of The Pops television show presented by Jimmy Saville when she was 14, claims in the Daily Mirror that Jimmy Saville made her feel uneasy. The Daily Mirror carries pictures of Colleen Nolan on the show. Jimmy Saville is in the pictures with his arm around her waist while the show is being broadcast live. Colleen Nolan is smiling in the picture but may indeed have felt uneasy. Colleen Nolan writes in the Daily Mirror: "I'm not going to reveal what he did to make me feel uneasy. It's not about me. It's about those girls." Having attempted to ruin the reputation of a dead celebrity, Colleen Nolan insists she's not going to explain with any specificity at all, what exactly she's claiming he did. Colleen Nolan's testimony is not credible or acceptable. It should be noted that Colleen Nolan is employed by the Daily Mirror as what the newspaper calls an Agony Aunt. It is unlikely that the Daily Mirror would print any comment from her or indeed continue to employ her if she wrote in her column: "The attacks on Jimmy Saville by my employer the Daily Mirror are a desperate attempt by a bankrupt newspaper to gain publicity for itself at the expense of a decent man who is not alive to defend himself." It is also necessary to note that Colleen Nolan was once a member of the famous Nolan singing family. Members of the family have claimed that their own father sexually abused them. I accept that Colleen Nolan as a fourteen year old may have been too young to be disporting herself in a sexualised manner for money on Top Of The Pops. Colleen Nolan may in fact have been too young to be a television performer, period. Perhaps her parents should have given her more time to grow up before pushing her into show biz. All these things would account for her feeling uneasy with the presenter of a television show welcoming her onto his show by putting his arm around her waist while the cameras were rolling. One thing is certain. Colleen Nolan was never abused or mistreated in any way by Jimmy Saville.

18. Paul Gambaccini, a broadcaster who styles himself as an expert on pop music, claims in the Daily Mirror that Jimmy Saville received a phone call accusing him of abuse and prevented the caller taking further action by telling the caller that such action would cut off charity donations which Jimmy Saville was supposedly raising for a hospital. Are we to believe that Jimmy Saville would give Paul Gambaccini details of such a call? Are we to believe the British Police (many of whom routinely take bribes from the Mirror and other media groups), rang Jimmy Saville and then fled in fear when he mentioned his fundraising for a hospital? Paul Gambaccini doesn't specify who made this call about which he claims such detailed knowledge. Are we to believe a sex abuse victim backed down when a hospital was mentioned? Are we to believe that Jimmy Saville confided in Paul Gambaccini about all this? Such things are not believable. (The article you are reading now was first published on the Heelers Diaries on the 2nd of October 2012. Little more than a year later on the 2nd of November 2013, the above mentioned broadcaster Paul Gambaccini has just been arrested in connection with allegations that he himself had sexually abused children. The Daily Mirror newspaper and Rupert Murdock's News International (Sky, Fox, The Times, The Sun, and The Wall Street Journal) who a year ago were using Paul Gambaccini as a provider of supposedly credible testimony to calumniate Jimmy Savile, are now reporting his arrest on suspicion of committing sex abuse offences himself without mentioning his participation in their initial contrivance of presumption of guilt for Jimmy Savile. Instead Paul Gambaccini's arrest is being deliberately and misleadingly reported as having come as part of the investigations into Jimmy Savile. The exact wording being used in these deliberately misleading reports goes: "Paul Gambaccini has been arrested under Operation Yew Tree which was established to investigate allegations of sex abuse involving the broadcaster Jimmy Savile." Malicious isn't it. No mention of Paul Gambaccini as one of the sources of the allegations against Jimmy Savile. Nothing exculpatory for the reputation of Jimmy Savile is being allowed leak into the public domain under any circumstances. The fact that his two main accusers from a year ago, ie the ones who could claim to be colleagues of his at the BBC, have since either been arrested or have actually faced charges of sex abuse, themselves remains largely unknown to the general public. See next point and addendum.)

19. A self styled media producer, calling himself William De Ath claims in the Daily Mirror and on the ITV fishing expedition documentary that the Mirror co-produced, that Jimmy Savile went to bed with an underage girl. William De Ath is quoted as saying that Jimmy Savile had used a seedy hotel as a rendezvous to have sex with a twelve year old. Then William De Ath adds: "Or maybe she was ten." The flippant manner in which the self styled William De Ath changes the age of the supposed victim should speak volumes about the credibility and motivation of William De Ath in accusing Jimmy Savile of child abuse without any corroborative evidence whatsoever. Are we to believe Jimmy Savile confided in William De Ath? Really? And why doesn't William De Ath name this hotel where he is flippantly claiming that the most famous celebrities in Britain can have sex with children without anyone saying anything for thirty years? Surely if William De Ath named the hotel, we might be able to find corroborative evidence beyond that of Esther Rantzen who just "feels" Jimmy Savile is guilty. (William De Ath was publically discredited as a witness much quicker than Paul Gambaccini. Within weeks of the publication of this article in October 2012, William De Ath himself had been arrested after a British actress in her 60's accused him of sexually abusing her while she was a child. The police later chose not to press charges against William De Ath. The media failed to mention in their coverage of  his arrest that he had provided one of their lynchpin testimonies of unproven inuendo against Jimmy Savile. The media also quite scurrilously and thoroughly innacurately reported his arrest as having come as part of investigations into Jimmy Savile rather than making clear that the allegations against William De Ath had nothing to do with Jimmy Savile.)

20. The bankrupt readerless Daily Mirror has contrived the most disgusting accusations against the deceased broadcaster Jimmy Saville when he is not in a position to defend himself. The story is an attempt to shore up a doomed media empire at the expense of a dead man's reputation. The accusations smear not just Jimmy Saville but his family who are still alive. The accusations are rendered egregious by their tenuousness and by the fact that for forty years while Jimmy Saville was alive, the supposed victims never brought their accusations into the public domain.

21. A pair of also ran sub prime would be celebrities, shleeveen British documentarian Louis Theroux (shleeveen = low rent, insincere) and Irish sensationalist atheistic commentator Kevin Myers have added their voices to those speculating that Jimmy Saville is guilty of the charges being orchestrated by the Daily Mirror against him. This is how trial be newspaper works. An assumption of guilt is created. The assumption becomes self fulfulling. Both Louis Theroux and Kevin Myers are equally ignorant as to whether Jimmy Saville ever committed child abuse or not. Both are content to amorally promote themselves as pundits, ie interesting fellows with interesting things to say about anything and everything, on the amoral assumption that he was.

22. Esther Rantzen does not know whether Jimmy Saville committed child abuse or not. She has concluded based on a feminist reading of the situation, that no one would make such allegations unless they were true. Her testimony would not be acceptable at a Women's Institute coffee morning, never mind in a court of law.

23. Colleen Nolan does not know whether Jimmy Saville committed child abuse or not. She has jumped on a band wagon at the behest of her bankrupt employer the Daily Mirror. Her behaviour approaches child abuse in its moral debasement. I am suggesting that the one crime which approaches child abuse in seriousness is to falsely accuse or to facilitate the false accusation by another of someone being falsely accused of committing child abuse.

24. Paul Gambaccini does not know whether Jimmy Saville committed child abuse or not.

25. I do not know whether Jimmy Saville committed child abuse or not.

26. I know that on his television programmes Jimmy Saville treated people of all ethnicities, backgrounds, age groups and social classes, with respect and kindness.


Footnote 1: The above article, as noted, was written a year ago in the opening phases of the Mirror Group and ITV's trial by media of the deceased broadcaster Jimmy Savile. At the time I had not yet become aware of the possibility that the entire campaign against Jimmy Savile had been directed from Rupert Murdock's News Corp International group which was desperate to distract attention from a public enquiry under Lord Leveson into its various nefarious behaviours and corruptions, including the phone tapping of private citizens, multiple briberies of police, and manifold subversions of the British parliament. The Leveson Enquiry was an existential threat to Rupert Murdock's newspaper titles and television stations. They needed something big and the destruction of the reputation of Jimmy Savile was it. The behaviour of Murdock's media entities in using a story which had initially seemed to emanate from the Daily Mirror and ITV, to distract attention from public concerns about News Corp and the Murdocks themselves, is at least highly suspicious and at worst damnable. Whether Murdock and Company liaised with the near defunct Daily Mirror and ITV in the contrivance of the initial fishing expedition television programme against Jimmy Savile is a moot point.

Footnote 2: I would humbly suggest that it is now in the interests of the British people, and indeed the human race, to break up Rupert Murdock's News Corp International under anti trust legislation. The Daily Mirror and ITV should be closed.

Footnote 3: Dateline November 2013... It is my profound belief that we should not let any newspaper or media group conduct show trials. Copy this to the morally and financially bankrupt Daily Star Irish Edition which is currently despatching its staff members in pursuit of a 78 year old ex priest along the highways and byways of Ireland. The 78 year old man who has diabetes and can barely walk, has served jail time for sex abuse offenses. Daily Star photographers have been hunting him from city to city and printing fresh photos of him every now and then in an attempt to stir up a witch hunt among the public. So far the Daily Star photographers have forced him to move home at least three times and seem intent on hounding him to death, remorselessly chasing him down streets, following him into train stations, and filming him in cafes. Daily Star photographers have inflicted near continuous harassment on this man, walking up to him in the street, pointing their cameras at him, and demanding: "Are you still a threat to children?" Heroes aren't they. If he does die, his blood will be on the hands of the owners of the Daily Star, the management of the Daily Star, all who work for the Daily Star, and indeed those purveyors of phone sex lines who advertise in the Daily Star. I consider the behaviour of the Daily Star in this case to be attempted murder. I have said before that I am perfectly willing to support the death penalty, though not for this man, if the People Of Ireland vote for it. I support the death penalty for Mafia scum, serial killers, Triads, murderers generally, members of the Brazilian psycho gang MS 13, anyone who has kidnapped and murdered a girl, anyone who has kidnapped and murdered a child, anyone who has kidnapped and murdered anyone, drug dealers generally, Judges in the pay of drug dealers, members of Al Qaeda, IRA assassins and torturers, the Mexican Zetas Cartel, the Colombian Farc, and indeed anyone and everyone engaged in the casual murder of human beings for sport, entertainment, profit, prophet, criminal purposes or as part of a Jihad against all humanity. And finally and in particular I support the death penalty for the rackateering Nigerian devil worshippers who ten years ago trafficked a little boy through Ireland for ritual sacrifice to satan in London and who have trafficked many more children and adults since then for precisely the same purposes. But get this. Even though I am willing to countenance the death penalty in all the circumstances outlined above, I am not in favour of the death penalty ever or in any circumstance being imposed or carried out by the Daily Star, its management, its photographers, or their ilk. Incidentally when was the last time a member of staff at the Daily Star approached a Nigerian drug dealing people trafficking devil worshipper fresh from murdering a little boy and demanded: "Are you still a threat to children?" That I'd love to see.

an open letter to british prime minister david cameron and american president barack obama on the eve of a proposed western military intervention in the syrian civil war

I wouldn't.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

shout at the devil

1. A padre called Brendan Hoban has lifted some talking points from the Heelers Diaries and published them on the website of a left wing organisation which he founded called the Association of Catholic Priests.
Brendan Hoban pretends in his latest statements to be applauding nuns who have defied attempts by polticians to extort more damages from them for supposed victims of abuse who supposedly suffered in their care.
Can you see the irony here?
Brendan Hoban and the media priests who established the Association of Catholic Priests, have been directly complicit with their media allies in fostering the notion of an assumption of guilt for any Catholic accused of child abuse.
Now as part of a recruitment drive for their memberless left wing organisation, Hoban and Co are seeking to reinvent themselves as opponents of the media Kulturkampf against the Catholic Church.
I counsel you not to be too impressed by Brendan Hoban or his ilk when they lift ideas and perspectives from this website in order to pretend to speak in defence of priests and nuns wrongly accused of abuse.
Their motives are not of the best.

2. The Irish Times claims Archbishop Diarmuid Martin is to be promoted to a job in Rome in recognition of his capable handling of child abuse issues. Well they would say that, wouldn't they! They love a bit of Archie, they do! Here is the news. Archbishop Diarmuid Martin is being transferred to Rome because, excluding the usual coteries of intellectually lazy conformist clypes, no believing Christian, no nun, no priest, no Bishop, no Cardinal, in Dublin or anywhere else in Ireland, would piss on him if he was on fire. The smart ones wouldn't turn their backs on him either.

3. Prime Minister Enda Kenny's Summer of Murders rolls on relentlessly. The legalisation of abortion has segued seamlessly into an explosion of mayhem in society at large. We've seen a body pulled out of a dumpster. We've had yet another gangland assassination in Dublin. We've had three thugs hijacking a taxi from a Nigerian driver at knifepoint and then crashing the taxi, and killing two of themselves. Independent Newspapers, then featured interviews with relatives of the dead thug scum talking about what cheeky chappies they were. You couldn't make it up. Another group of hoodlums beat a Muslim Pakistani taxi driver to within an inch of his life. I am no friend to Muslim Pakistani taxi drivers, since my information is that a substantial number of them are a part of the Al Qaeda Black Jacket gangster franchise, but I still hold that the law has some role to play in allowing people to go about their legal business and work for a living without the threat of having your skull fractured by some low rent scruff who's never done a day's work in his life.

4. The Irish Times, reported with an apparently straight face the above mentioned Father Brendan Hoban's late discovery of the Kultukampf against innocent priests and nuns. The article covering Father Hoban's epiphany was remarkable in representing the first ever article by religious affairs correspondent Patsy McGarry which carried no sly innuendos undermining the interviewee in the article who was supposedly speaking in defence of the church. The Irish Times is getting cleverer. In the past McGarry would lace any supposed defence of the Church with a passle of overweening sneers from sundry sources reminding his compliant readers of just how vile Patsy McGarry considers the Catholic Church to be. Today, nothing. Today Brendan Hoban's words were allowed to stand on their own merit without comment. Here's larks. For today, the sneers were featured a page or two further on, in a separate stand alone article by something called Heather Laskie. The Irish Times permitted Heather Laskie to heap all the innuendos on Brendan Hoban that atheistic Marxian Patsy McGarry omitted to include in his article. Heather Laskie's centrepiece was a crass attempt to implicate nuns in the disappearance of an unnamed schoolgirl. There was also a reference to what Heather Laskie claimed was the unexplained deaths of thirty children in a fire. Again Heather Laskie sought to imply that the nuns were somehow responsible for the deaths of thirty children in a fire. Heather Laskie justified her lifelong bigot war against the Catholic Church with the claim that her husband, a psychiatrist, had once seen one of his patients collapse into tears of terror when a nun entered the room. Hmmm. We'd need a little cross examination on this one to even begin to satisfy the basic journalistic requirements of truth and fairness. Questions: Was Heather Laskie's husband's patient someone who regularly collapsed in tears when people in uniforms entered her ken? Did the collapse happen at all? Are Heather Laskie and her psychiatrist husband a pair of atheistic Marxian bigots? Why on earth has the Irish Times, while posing as an advocate for sex abuse victims, failed to give any follow up reportage on the lack of police action regarding the child rapes carried out by an Irish Times journalist in the Dublin area? The enigmas endure. Heather Laskie must answer to her own conscience for her incitement to hatred masquerading as journalism. And all this rehashed Irish Times innuendo against the Church served solely to contextualise the faux restraint of atheistic Marxian Patsy McGarry in uncritically presenting Brendan Hoban's plagiarism of the Heelers Diaries. Sigh.

Monday, August 26, 2013


Intelligence  Briefing.
Attention: President Barack Obama.
Eyes Only.
Copy: Prime Minister David Cameron.

1. The rebellion in Syria is legitimate.

2. The rebellion in Syria has been hijacked by Al Qaeda.

3. The Assad Family have run Syria as an Islamist Stalinist State for fifty years.

4. During my childhood Hafez Al Assad the father of the present President of Syria Bashar Assad, bombed the country into quiescence with the assistance and connivance of the then Communist government of Russia.

5. The current President of Russia, Vladimir Putin, is in my view, a resovietising psychopath who has been responsible for the murder of the President of Poland, the unlawful incarceration of Julia Timoshenko who is the rightful President of Ukraine, the installation of Russian puppets as Presidents in both Ukraine and Poland, and the invasion of the republic of Georgia in the southern caucusus and the installation of a puppet Russian as President there. President Putin has also been directly responsible for assassinations and attempted assassinations of persons he deems a threat to himself in London and in a host of other countries.

6. The current President of Russia has been backing Bashar Assad and his government. President Putin seems unwilling to countenance any loss of power for the Assads.

7. I believe President Putin is married to the Assads because for more than ten years rump communists in Russia including President Putin have conspired with President Assad to destabilise and sabotage the American liberation of Iraq from Saddam Hussein's murderocracy.

8. I believe President Putin is willing to wage war to defend Syria as a Russian vassal State.

9. If we back the rebels in Syria now, we are backing Al Qaeda which has as noted above, hijacked a legitimate rebellion.

10. Since the American liberation of Iraq from Saddam Hussein's Murderocracy, Al Qaeda has been present in Syria as President Bashar Assad's guests. President Assad was allowing Al Qaeda to use Syria as a base for attacks against the Americans and Free Iraqi government forces in Iraq. Al Qaeda was being assisted in Syria by reconstructed rump KGB elements with President Vladimir Putin's unofficial authorisation. There is substantial evidence in my view that the Russians helped Saddam Hussein move substantial quantities of chemical weapons into Syria. This is why both Al Qaeda and the Syrian government now possess substantial quantities of chemical weapons. I am convinced that President Putin and his rump KGB in their adventuristic opportunism, do not truly represent the will of the Russian people.

11. It is ironic that Al Qaeda has turned on Bashar Assad's government in an attempt to steal a country that formerly gave it shelter. But irony won't save us here.

12. Al Qaeda is well capable of releasing chemical weapons on Syrian civilians and combatants, merely to provoke a Western intervention.

13. If we defeat Bashar Al Assad, and hand Syria to the rebels, we are handing Syria to Al Qaeda.

14. If we intervene in Syria we risk a World War with Russia.

15. I wouldn't do it, Barack.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

a word on behalf of our sponsor

Ah thank you God for the sweet softness of dawn glistening on the fields with the Wicklow mountains all robed in purple, the sky tinged ochre gold, and the leaves of every tree in Urquahart's woods reflecting a thousand nameless shades of living light.
Thank you God for the morning breeze whispering verses from the Bible in the garden of my father.
Thank you God for the kiss of consciousness as I awoke this royal morning.
Thank you God for the early stir of life in the houses and on the streets of Kilcullen, this burgeoning humming hamlet, with its businessmen, its teachers, its young people, its sages, its radicals, its conformists, its farmers, its shopkeepers, its students, its truants, its hoodlums, its thug policemen, its heroes, its sexors, its idle rich, its unemployed, its pagans, its proselytizers, its poets, and its priests, for all in all, good and bad, this is my Jerusalem, and I could ask you for no other.
Thank you God for the roses.
Thank you God for Paddy Pup hiding in the bedroom every time I put on a rasher because he's afraid I'm going to set off Father Peter's smoke alarm.
Thank you God for Siobhan Cullen's young lad Robert saying to his mother "How many times did James win the Nobel prize?" and Lord what a great kid.
Thank you God for distant melodies from Maharashtra.
Thank you God for Bella Donna's bright eyes, flowing hair and intriguing tee shirt slogans.
Thank you God for the sound of wood pigeons cooing in the trees.
Thank you God for Sister Lelia's card which said "go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you have imagined."
Thank you God for the moment when I told Vivian Clarke that I was going to invite the nuns to my play and he responded "Are you mad or what?"
Thank you God for the open road with Esmerelda's engine purring like a cat and the sudden suspicion in my mind that anything is possible.
Thank you God for the gentle cadences of memory and the presence in my heart of people long gone.
Thank you God for Summer rain.
Thank you God for the bumble bee's drone which is in its way a song of praise.
Thank you God for letting me overhear Nuala Egan and Siobhan Patterson from behind a curtain in Kilcullen theatre last week when Nuala was saying "If neither of us talk to James he can't put us in his column," and Siobhan answering "Right so, we'll be like the politicians, as soon as we see him coming we'll say no comment," and Lord bless their innocence.
Thank you God for the shadows brooding on the field of souls where my grandfather rests at last.
Thank you God for Beata from Lithuania who responds to all my complaints about every situation by saying "You must be strong, it's a life test," and I really think she isn't afraid of anything, and maybe it's something to do with the fact that the Lithuanians survived the Nazis, and then saw off the Soviets, or maybe it isn't, but there's no going back in them, and crumbs Lord she's the toughest pretty girl I've ever met.
Thank you God for the inspired words "Jesus you are perfect love and perfect love casts out fear."
Thank you God for Pauline Moore saying: "The Lord doesn't tell you to throw in the towel, he tells you to cast out your nets," and Marie O'Connell giving me the prayer: "Jesus I love you, God I love you, Lord forgive me, Lord heal me," and Anne Byrne advising: "Be the eucharist to each other," and Bernadette Ryan proclaiming: "Forgive, forgive, forgive, no matter what, just forgive," and Bernadette Higgins pontificating about divine mercy, and for all the other nut jobs from Kilcullen and Newbridge prayer groups wherever they are and whatever they are doing in this age when satan has sought the ultimate destruction of the Catholic Church, and these few, these precious few, have defied him.
Thank you God for the teenager nicknaming me Professor last week as it does appear to be the first nickname I've acquired that doesn't have a vaguely pejorative ring, and I definitely much prefer it to Yakky, Dracula, Tasmanian Devil, Heeler the Peeler, and all the rest.
Thank you God for the sudden flashes of elemental beauty that illumine our world and show your hand in the creation, you know what I mean, kingfishers o'er the stream, bluebells at the roadside, dolphins on the ocean and little German Mareen anywhere.
Thank you God for the Spanish Onion and her amazing snot green paintings.
Thank you God for my innate genius and sublime modesty.
Thank you God for the bullocks belling out of sight in the heat of evening.
Thank you God for the scent of new mown grass.
Thank you God for the tide of night sweeping in on raven's wings and gathering up my town in a cloak of stillness while the universe itself watches with bated breath.
Thank you God for the stars scattered like precious stones across the vastness of sky.
Thank you God for the moment when we were performing "Poets In Paradise" for inmates at the Curragh Prison, and I suggested to Maurice O'Mahoney who was portraying Patrick Kavanagh, that he should sing A Boy Named Sue instead of Raglan Road, which was an hilarious one liner even by my usual superb standards, but of course I didn't say it too loud Lord, for I may be obnoxious but I'm not stupid.
Thank you God for that additionally hilarious moment at the Curragh Prison after the curtain fell, when I was trying to mix it with the prisoners doing my Saint James of Compostela routine, and next minute I noticed all the other cast members and the director proceeding at a rate of knots for the door, like startled fawns bounding up the mountain path, and suddenly I felt very lonely indeed.
Thank you God for the impossible majesty of created things.
Thank you God for the dignity of creatures.
Thank you God for the miracle of song and the miracle of the singer.
Thank you God for the glory of light.
Thank you God for the writings of the Lutheran Richard Wurmbrand.
Thank you God for the courage of your witnesses.
Thank you God again and again and again for Sister Gemma, Sister Lelia, Sister Elizabeth, Mother Nirmala, Mother Angelica, and all the crazy hero nuns from the planet Zorg, and also most especially for the courage of the young Galway woman who lost the fingers on one hand after the devil tried to scare her away from being a nun, and for the Padres, Father Supple, Father O'Siochru, Pete, Dave, Sweeney, and the Pap(s).
Thank you God for you.