lessons in living from the lady known as lil

Sitting in the front room with the Mammy.
"How come you're always so calm?" sez I.
"What do you mean?" quoth she.
"You never seem to get upset," observeth I.
"There's a secret to it," museth she.
"What is it?" enquireth I.
"Whenever someone says something that annoys me I go into the next room and mutter b-----x," explaineth she.
"And do you do that with me?" wondereth I.
"Not so much with you," evadeth she.
"No really," persisteth me.
"It rarely arises with you," insisteth she.
"Which means you sometimes do it with me!" expostulateth I.
"Hardly ever," proclaimeth she.
You know folks, it's hard to get across just how curiously dissatisfying, how disquieting, how downright seditious, I found that final answer.