an open letter to gordon brown prime minister of great britain

Prime Minister.
This week your office will have received certain proposals from newspaper publishers in the United Kingdom.
The Observer newspaper has reported that something it called "The Big Four" newspaper groups would be asking you to relax regulations relating to the newspaper industry.
Specifically: The Observer says the Big Four want to lay aside certain takeover, acquisition and merger rules within that industry.
Of course The Observer itself is a part of this collection of losers whom it dubs The Big Four.
Also in among the immortal losers are my old pals at The Johnston Press.
You couldn't make it up.
By "Big" apparently The Observer means "possessing no readers."
Gordon, these clowns say they want you to relax regulations governing market share.
Here is my analysis of the request you are receiving.
It's a put up job.
They don't care about market share.
None of them care about market share.
Not The Observer and The Guardian. Not the Invidious Johnston We Fired James Healy Press. Not Lord Rothermere at the Daily Mail. (That's really his name Gord. I could hardly believe it myself. I wonder will Jesus call him Lord on Judgement Day.) Not Trinity Mirror. Not Newsquest.
I say it again.
These clypes don't care about market share.
They've got no market.
Here's what they want Gordon.
They want free money.
They've decimated their workforces, alienated the public, collapsed their share prices, and it's everybody's fault but their own.
It's the fault of an international downturn.
It the fault of the internet.
It's the fault of the people they've fired.
It's the fault of some evil voodoo witch doctors from Jamaica.
Here is the news Gordon.
The fellows making representations to you haven't got a clue.
The only thing they're good at is firing people from their companies while awarding themselves six figure bonuses and pensions.
Downsizing they call it.
It's murder if you ask me.
My advice to you Gord, when their real intentions become clear, is to tell them to get knotted.
You and Barack are intent on spending your way out of trouble.
Gord, these schmucks will spend everything you've got and come back for more.
Tell them to f--k off.
James Healy
PS: You need to get to work on Haut La Garenne Gordon. Remember you and me are going to have to face the real Lord on Judgement Day too.