under the seal of the scimitar

Midnight in Teheran.
Faint sighs the traffic from the streets.
In his red draped office at the Presidential Palace, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad contemplates the war that is to be.
He is alone behind his great oak panelled desk.
Perhaps the loneliest man on earth.
And he knows.
It will be soon.
He flicks a button on his desk.
A television slides from the wall.
He touches a control.
A decadent American imperialist channel called Vh1 fills the screen.
A singer called James Brown is singing Living In America an old song from a Rocky movie.
The song like everything else broadcast in this beknighted country, has been dubbed with a certain liberality into Iranian.
For this very purpose thousands of technicians work round the clock to monitor and dub all transmissions coming into Iran.
Their translations are politically correct Iranian style.
The title of the present work is now Living In Arabia.
The song goes:

"Living in Arabia.
Nam ma nau.
Decisions, decisions.
Living in Arabia.
Got to have an assassination.
Bless my soul.
Suicide bombers
Keep me awake
All night
Osama Bin Laden
Hiding out in Isfahan
He's not a well man.
But that's okay.
You might have to hijack an airline
We're living in tenth century time
And our filippino maids are workin
Overtime
Oooh.
Living in Arabia
Na, na, na.
Decisions, decisions.
Financing Hezbollah.
And Hamas too.
Whatcha gonna do.
If you wanna kill Jews.
Living in Arabia.
Got to have an assassination
Bless my soul
Sending agents
To murder Americans
By proxy in Iraq
And Afghanistan
And back.
You may have to walk the by line
Or hijack an airline
And everybody's living in
Tenth century time.
Living in Arabia.
Na, na, na.
Nerdle, nerdle.
Women can't drive cars.
Mecca isn't that far.
And somewhere on the way
You might find out who you are.
Living in Arabia.
Na, na, na, na.
Nau ma nau.
Decisions, decisions.
Got to have a public stoning.
Rock my soul.
Nerdle, nerdle, nerdle.
All night Imams
Keep me awake
All night
With their calls to prayer.
What a racket they make.
Na, na, na.
Nerdle, nerdle.
You might not be
Searching for 72 virgins
But you might find them anyway.
It's a transcontinental
Jihad thing
Damascus City.
Gaza Strip.
Cairo.
Beirut.
The West Bank.
Amman Jordan.
And Riyadh SA.
Living in Arabia.
Na, na, na.
Got to have some assassinations.
Goodness.
Bless my soul.
Nerdle, nerdle, nerdle.
See the women.
No you don't.
They're wearing sacks.
Burkas and Yashmaks.
As for the children
They're psychoticised by Islam.
It's like living in a prison.
You might have to walk the by line
Or hijack an airline
And everybody's just fine
About wiping Israel out of time.
Awauuuu.
Living in Arabia
Na, na, na.
Got to have some nuclear weapons.
Oh.
Rock my soul."

President Ahamdinejad switches off the television.
He is smiling.