from the heelers emails

----- Original Message -----

From: Heelers

To: Frau Ramold

Subject: sehr gut

Guten tag Andrea.

Nice one by Germany in the World Cup. Some really great goals. I think soccer is a boring game and needs to be reformed. But at least there was some spectacle in England v Germany.

My suggested reforms... Maybe just seven men a side so that they have to play a bit and can't just pass the ball around for ninety minutes. A group of referees for each match fully interactive with each other so that it's harder for the Mafia to fix games. No more off side rule. Wider goal posts so that we end up with a lot more goals every game. Video replays for the referees so there's no excuses if a goal is controversial. An end to the culture of cheating, committing fouls, pretending to be fouled etc etc. The birth of a culture of sporting values, entertainment, fair play etc etc.

How about that!!!

I'm still saving the world.

One sport at a time.

James

PS: The reason England lost is because of an incident at a press conference before the match. Their best player Wayne Rooney was asked about his belief in God. He started to answer sincerely and quietely, saying: "I am a Catholic and I pray the rosary. I wear a rosary beads in training." A team official leapt in and stopped him saying any more with a cry of: "We don't do God." Any team or nation that is ashamed to let one of its members speak about God is never going to do to well. At anything.