al qaeda at play

Osama Bin Laden looked up from his lunch.

"These United Nations food rations aren't bad," he expectorated through a mouthful of pretzels. "The UN is really getting their act together for Pakistan flood relief. A big improvement I'd say and not before time. Pity we didn't have a flood nine years ago."

His men laughed heartily.

They were well fed on UN relief aid.

They were well wrapped in clothes supplied by UN approved charities.

They were well sheltered in tents presented courtesy of the UN High Commissioner for Refugees.

"Anybody feel like torturing a British aid worker?" grinned Osama.

His men cheered.

Osama stood up.

"I never like to torture on an empty stomach," he deadpanned.

The happy throng walked from the campfire towards the trussed aid worker whom they'd kidnapped in Afghanistan and brought to Pakistan last week.

What happened next was unspeakable.