scrotie mcboogerballs inherits a newspaper
The Leinster Leader drifts forlorn and rudderless (And readerless - Ed note) through stagnant seas.
My spies in the Leinster Leader have informed me this week that the near defunct newspaper is once more without an editor.
How many editors have they gone through since they fired me at Christmas three years ago?
Is it four or five?
Who's counting?
Poisoned chalice, anyone?
My spies tell me that pressure is running at fever pitch among management types at the Leinster Leader with undignified tantrums being daily directed by these incompetent suit wearers towards the few remaining advertising sales staff.
(NB: By calling them incompetent suit wearers, I don't wish to imply that they are unable to wear suits. I wish to imply that wearing a suit is the limits of their competency. - Heelers note.)
The sales staff are sipping from a poisoned chalice of their own.
They are being asked to do the impossible.
Make profits for a newspaper that is now despised by the community it purports to serve.
The Leinster Leader has been purchased by an idiot British company called the Johnston Press for 138 million quid, money the Johnston Press borrowed from idiot banks.
Yup.
A hundred and thirty eight million quid for a newspaper that was generating, if you believed our falsified accounts, around a million a year.
The Johnston Press, having paid such a ridiculous sum with money they didn't have, ie borrrowed money from idiot banks, were left with two choices to make back their investment.
(The lenders were indeed the same idiot banks that the Irish and British people were compelled by their governments to bail out in order to cover massive losses arising from their idiot lending policies to companies like the Johnston Press. - Rod note.)
How could the Johnston Press have ever made a profit from their 138 million dollar investment in a company that earned 1 million dollars a year?
They could either wait 138 years.
Or they could try firing people and hiring cheaper ones.
They took the atheistic option.
Now the wheels are finally coming off the wagon.
Another editor gone.
Bounding into the night like a startled fawn up the mountain path.
On a daily basis the beleagured advertising staff are being shouted at by besuited clowns for failing to make the impossible revenue returns which the clowns believe would transform the Johnston Press's well nigh cretinous investment into a profitable one.
The general public are walking away from the Leinster Leader because the Johnston Press fired me. (And because they fired Ron Baines the printer whom they gave an hours notice to that he was finished after fifty years on the staff. And because they fired the entire former advertising department. And because. And because. And, and, and. And so on. - And note.)
It's all very sad.
But tell me.
Tell me bold readers.
Is it possible...
Is it just barely possible...
Is it the teensiest weensiest bit possible... that the wrong people were getting fired?
My spies in the Leinster Leader have informed me this week that the near defunct newspaper is once more without an editor.
How many editors have they gone through since they fired me at Christmas three years ago?
Is it four or five?
Who's counting?
Poisoned chalice, anyone?
My spies tell me that pressure is running at fever pitch among management types at the Leinster Leader with undignified tantrums being daily directed by these incompetent suit wearers towards the few remaining advertising sales staff.
(NB: By calling them incompetent suit wearers, I don't wish to imply that they are unable to wear suits. I wish to imply that wearing a suit is the limits of their competency. - Heelers note.)
The sales staff are sipping from a poisoned chalice of their own.
They are being asked to do the impossible.
Make profits for a newspaper that is now despised by the community it purports to serve.
The Leinster Leader has been purchased by an idiot British company called the Johnston Press for 138 million quid, money the Johnston Press borrowed from idiot banks.
Yup.
A hundred and thirty eight million quid for a newspaper that was generating, if you believed our falsified accounts, around a million a year.
The Johnston Press, having paid such a ridiculous sum with money they didn't have, ie borrrowed money from idiot banks, were left with two choices to make back their investment.
(The lenders were indeed the same idiot banks that the Irish and British people were compelled by their governments to bail out in order to cover massive losses arising from their idiot lending policies to companies like the Johnston Press. - Rod note.)
How could the Johnston Press have ever made a profit from their 138 million dollar investment in a company that earned 1 million dollars a year?
They could either wait 138 years.
Or they could try firing people and hiring cheaper ones.
They took the atheistic option.
Now the wheels are finally coming off the wagon.
Another editor gone.
Bounding into the night like a startled fawn up the mountain path.
On a daily basis the beleagured advertising staff are being shouted at by besuited clowns for failing to make the impossible revenue returns which the clowns believe would transform the Johnston Press's well nigh cretinous investment into a profitable one.
The general public are walking away from the Leinster Leader because the Johnston Press fired me. (And because they fired Ron Baines the printer whom they gave an hours notice to that he was finished after fifty years on the staff. And because they fired the entire former advertising department. And because. And because. And, and, and. And so on. - And note.)
It's all very sad.
But tell me.
Tell me bold readers.
Is it possible...
Is it just barely possible...
Is it the teensiest weensiest bit possible... that the wrong people were getting fired?
posted by heelers | 4:48 PM
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