The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

the take the biscuit column

Titles in the Independent Newspapers Group, along with the Irish Times, have spent the holiday period each printing an average of one picture per day of Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny.
Today's Irish Independent actually has two.
In case you forgot what he looked like between page four and page nine.
This is in keeping with Independent Newspapers' strategy of labelling Enda Kenny a statesman following his closure of Ireland's embassy to the Vatican.
It's funny.
No matter how often liberal atheistic hedonist abortionists seek to present him as a statesman he still looks just like what he is.
A weak vascillatory, vacant, vapid, hairstyle of a man.
However the Order of the Biscuit is not awarded this week either to Independent Newspapers or to the Irish Times.
It goes instead to the hindtit newspaper styling itself The Daily Mail.
The Irish edition of the Daily Mail has accumulated losses in excess of a hundred million dollars.
It brings in revenues around the million a year mark.
So in a hundred years it might break even.
Until then we're all forced to prop it up through idiot loans from State owned idiot banks.
Hilarious no.
By the way the English edition of the Daily Mail has debts in excess of a thousand million dollars.
But I digress.
The Order of the Biscuit goes to the Daily Mail for its photograph today of Enda Kenny and Enda Kenny's wife Scroticia, standing beside the Archbishop of Dublin Diarmuid Martin, posing outside a church.
It is a study in mendaciousness.
And fools no one.
In it we see a vacant vapid hairstyle of a man posing as a Prime Minister.
We see a shleeveen trophy wife posing as a married woman.
And we see a leftist Soviet era infiltrator posing as a Catholic Archbishop.
They all seem curiously at ease with one another.
I give this photograph the Order of the Biscuit for the sheer mundane faussness of the subject matter.
My suggested title for the pic would be: Three People Pretending To Be Catholic.
But to achieve the proper resonance we should also put in a shared speech baloon coming from the mouths of Enda, Scroticia and Archie.
The photo would then aptly depict the three proclaiming in unison:
"Oleaginous, moi?"


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