mystic pizza

"Do all Irish families have a banshee?" wondered Miss America, eyes wide and round.
"The tradition has it that only the old families, whose names begin with O or Mac will hear the banshee," I told her.
"So the Healys don't hear it?"
"Our name in Irish is O'Healaithe."
"So you do hear it."
I shrugged awkwardly.
"James tell me."
"Alright. Whenever a Healy is going to die, I get a phone call from Ian O'Doherty of Independent Newspapers threatening to break my fingers and/or burn my house down. It's sort of a banshee but without the sex."