The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Sunday, November 01, 2015

that sinn fein election manifesto for the republic of ireland in full again

(Goods surely- ed note)
Twenty bullet points for the first twenty days in government...
(What does Sinn Fein mean by the phrase 'bullet points?' - Ed note)
(What do you think we mean, bitch? - Gerry Adams note)

1. We the Sinn Fein political party know our rights.

2. We have the right to remain silent.

3. We have the right to be parliamentary proxies for the IRA.

4. We have the right to commit murder.

5. We have the right to deal drugs.

6. We have the right to engage in people trafficking, particularly on behalf of our Muslim Al Qaeda affiliates around the world.

7. We have the right to infiltrate and control the Irish trade union movement.

8. We have the right to infiltrate and control the Irish national broadcaster which is styled RTE.

9. We have the right to infiltrate and subvert the Judiciary of the Republic of Ireland.

10. We have a right to new Audis.

11. We have a right to distract people from our contemporary murders and from our activities as a nationwide international mafia, by continually relitigating various frivolous charges against the British army dating from our riots in the Ballymurphy housing estate in Belfast in 1973, and to do this while the Irish are still pulling the bodies of our 1970's victims out of bogs and ditches, and still searching for the bodies of house wives and musicians whom we kidnapped, tortured, violated and murdered during that period, and also searching for the bodies of the ones our gangs are kidnapping, torturing, violating and murdering now even as we speak.

12.  We have the right to divide up Ireland into personal fiefdoms with gangs mentored by us in every town and village in Ireland.

13. We have the right to apportion territory in Ireland to other mafia groups principally the Muslim mafias generally styled Al Qaeda, along with the Chinese Triads, Cosa Nostra, Russian rackateers, Nigerian devil worshipping gangs, et al, (Particularly Al. You gorra love him.)

14. We have the right to infiltrate the FBI office in Boston USA using Whitey Bolger's IRA affiliated Winterhill gang. (Send a copy of this to Vincent Lisi. He'll get a few larfs out of it.)

15. Gerry Adams has the right to be Capo Di Tutti Capi, ie the head of Sinn Fein, the head of the IRA, and overall godfather of mafia skangs in Ireland.

16. We have the right to finance ourselves from traditional IRA bankrobberies as well as from the high octane avant garde bank robbery that was the institutionalised burglarisation of Anglo Irish Bank which we accomplished by having IRA agents Sean Fitzpatrick and David Drumm and their accomplices overseeing the bank's loan register, and giving out billion dollar loans to IRA agents posing as businessmen to wit Sean Quinn and his odious IRA brood, as well as their wives, mistresses and cats Tiddles. Additional IRA proxies on the share register meant we actually owned the bank we were robbing by giving ourselves illegal billion dollar loans. Thankfully a corrupt Fianna Fail government led by one Brian Cowan (two Brian Cowans would have been ridiculous) and the now conveniently deceased Brian Lenihan, put Ireland in the Third World overnight in order to bail us out.

17. We have the right to field ringers in the forthcoming elections in Ireland, that is to say a host of supposedly Independent candidates who will claim to be Independents right up until the moment they are elected and who will then fling off their disguises and install us in government.

18. We have the right to corrupt the police.

19. We have the right to get the Germans to pay Ireland's bills in perpetuity.

20. And abortions for all.

21. You (the people of Ireland) have no rights. (Except to abortions and to euthanise your family members, and engage in same sex marriages, and if you join Sinn Fein to kill anyone you like, or don't like as the case may be. Ha, ha.)

22. Er, that's it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re: 'What do you think we mean, bitch?'
One of ours surely?
Matt Parker and Trey Stone, South Park.

6:22 PM  
Blogger heelers said...


6:23 PM  

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