Having A Cool Yule

Arising from my lair, at midday on Christmas Eve, I realised with some mild concern, that I still had not obtained any presents for my nearest and dearest. Seized by that messianic fervour some of you have come to know and love, I immediately raced to the kitchen and sat down to a steaming hot mug of coffee. Less haste more speed, as we do say in the trade. I needed to gather my thoughts before venturing outside into the cold hard world of Xmas shopping. The process took two hours. The gathering my thoughts in the kitchen process, I mean.
My devoted sister Marie stuck her head in the door at one stage.
"I wouldn't go out if I were you," sez she. "The traffic will be hellish, and everywhere is closing soon anyway."
Spurred by her excellent advice I ran to the Heelers mobile.
It was a twenty minute drive to Newbridge. I did it in ten.
And lo!
Outside Clarkes Menswear Store there was a vacant handicapped parking space. Fortuna favori virtus.
"Five jumpers," I cried as I entered the shop. "And make them nice ones."
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
That was presents for Doctor Barn, Padre Peter, Businessman Tom, Tedwardo Del Garcia, and the Dad.
Back to Kilcullen. Quick stop at the flower shop.
Flowers for Aunty Marie.
Sure who could ask for a better present than that!
Across the road from the flower shop I spied a drapery.
In I went.
"Two scarves," I cried. "And make them nice ones."
Boom, boom.
Nurse Marie and the Mammy, catered for in one go.
Exiting from the drapery, I behold Uncle Scutch's pharmacy still open.
Time for a quick reconnoitre.
And lo!
It's got puppets.
Bugs Bunny, the Cookie Monster, and a Paddington Bear.
Boom, boom, boom.
My little nephews will have no complaints.
Back to the Chateau de Healy.
It's all taken just over an hour.
A Christmas miracle...