and now for something completely er well not entirely original

This week is John Fry Week at The Heelers Diaries.
The celebration knows no bounds.
Yes the ersatz Chief Executive of the Johnston Press is currently making a royal progress through Ireland and we're marking the occasion with due deference and respect.
No doubt he's been met with cheering crowds and scattered rose petals everywhere he goes.
For my part I must admit to growing weary of the game.
I sat down tonight in front of the television, determined to unwind.
That is to say, determined not to think about John Fry, Satan, the nether regions of hell, eternal damnation, Free Masonry, or any other Johnston Press themed topics.
I flicked to a country music station.
And lo!
Rick Baines was singing his classic hit The Devil Went Down To Georgia.
Rick sang:

"The devil went down to the Johnston Press.
He was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind because he was way behind.
And he was willing to make a deal.
Fire on the mountains run boys run.
Deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle.
Devil in the house of the rising sun.
Deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle,
Deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle.
Well my name is Heelers.
And I may be unemployed.
But the pleasure I get from satirising you
Is pure and unalloyed.
Share price down, run boys run.
Deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle.
Devil in the house of the failing scum.
Deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle,
Deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle..."

I flicked the channel.
There's only so much pathos I can handle at a time.
The channel I landed on now was a dance music station.
A character called Moby was playing his techno soul funk hit Troubles With God.
This song is proof that there's just as much poetry hiding in the modern stuff as there ever was in the classical.
No really.
Moby sings:

"Oooh Lawdy, troubles with scum.
Oooh Lawdy, troubles with scum.
Don't nobody know my troubles with scum.
Don't nobody know my troubles with scum.
Went down to Naas, the other day.
Got offered a job in the Leinster Leader and I said okay.
Oooh Lawdy, my troubles with scum.
Oooh Lawdy, my troubles with scum.
Don't nobody know my troubles with scum.
Don't nobody know my troubles with scum.
Ten years at the Leader, what a mess.
Then the paper got bought by the Johnston Press.
Ten years at the paper with very little thanks.
Till the damn thing got sold by management skanks.
Oooh Lawdy, my troubles with scum.
Oooh Lawdy, my troubles with scum.
Don't nobody know my troubles with scum.
Don't nobody know my troubles with scum."

I switched off the television.
Truly like Macbeth, I have supped full with horrors.
I mean with worthless amoral incompetents.
It is time to learn to live again.