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RTE1
(The Irish national fraudcaster, catering solely to atheistic anti Catholic abortionists while enjoying a Stalinist monopoly on the airwaves whereby no one is allowed to set up television stations to compete with it. RTE has no need of viewers as it is funded through a compulsory licence fee on all those peasants who dare to own televisions. I kid you not.)
3.25 Supernanny. If she's so super what's she doing on RTE?
4.25 Murder She Wrote. The Eastern Seaboard of the United States is devastated using suitcase atomic weapons after President Barack Obama releases Al Qaeda detainees from Guantanamo Bay. Jessica sets out to solve the mystery. Sure enough, Al Qaeda dunnit. Thankfully President Obama ensures they all get trials in American courtrooms, with State appointed lawyers, and the possibility of parole.
5.20 Nuacht. What the hell is this?
5.30 The Bill. €180 please. That'll be the bill for your licence fee.
6.00 The Angelus. I'd like to ring RTE's neck.
6.01 News. Here is the news. RTE is controlled by shadowy unaccountable figures who are part of a broad conspiracy within our media, judicial and political elites, intent on destroying the Catholic church as a platform for public influence in the Republic of Ireland. We didn't surrender to Cromwell. We didn't surrender to the Muslim invaders at the battle of Lepanto. We didn't surrender to Hitler. And we didn't surrender to the Communists. Why on earth would we surrender to this abysmal shower? Ireland awake. Remember who you are.
7.00 Nationwide. Nationwide drivel.
7.30 Trish's Mediterranean Kitchen. Trish visits an award winning organic restaurant in the Camargue. Come back Karl Marx, all is forgiven.
7.57 Lotto. Throw up your sweaty nightcaps. Come on down.
8.00 Fair City. It's not fair that I have to finance this tripe and onions.
8.30 Room To Improve. Architect Dermot Bannon visits pseuds and fixes up their pseudo house to give them a better pseudo view of the mountains. If you want to figure out where Marxism came from, watch this programme.
9.00 News. More from those lovable Maoist lefties of the RTE newsroom.
9.35 Hollywood Homicide. Film made in 2003, starring Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett. The film was only ever seen by Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett's Mammies.
11.30 News. What, again?
11.35 Oireachtas Report. The Oireachtas is the Irish parliament. Tonight's programme focusses on the death of Fianna Fail. The once great party of De Valera and Lemass is sliding into oblivion. Some myths about the reason's for Fianna Fail's collapse will be laid to rest in this broadcast. Fianna Fail is not sliding into oblivion because of the economic collapse. Fianna Fail is not sliding into oblivion because of arrant corruption in the planning process. Fianna Fail is not sliding into oblivion because of having once again spent the country into a black hole of debt, borrowing billions to give 50 percent pay rises and 100 percent bonuses to nurses, teachers, police officers, soldiers, bus drivers, and all State Sector employees, as a bribe in order to win elections while lying to the general public about the existence of a thoroughly fictitious Celtic Tiger. Fianna Fail is ceasing to exist for none of these reasons. Here is the news. Fianna Fail is ceasing to exist because Prime Minister Brian Cowan and his cabinet have refused to publish the names of the golden circle of business people who were involved in borrowing hundreds of millions of pounds in order to artificially prop up the share price of the venally decrepitly vomitously corrupt Anglo Irish Bank. Fianna Fail is ceasing to exist because Brian Cowan and his cabinet have borrowed ten billion quid to bail out this same Anglo Irish Bank. If there's anybody out there who genuinely cares about Fianna Fail, let alone Ireland, it's time to wake up and put a stop to this. Don't let them hunker down and wait it out till the next election.
12.05 A supposed documentary programme.
1.05 A Month Of Sundays. Rod Steiger's Mammy didn't even bother going to this one.
2.50 Shortland Street. The apotheosis of intellectualism on RTE.
4.35 Euronews. Go toooo sleeeeeep. Baraackkk gooooood. President Bush badddddd. Free the Muslim terroristssssss. Who cares about Allllllll Qaeeeeeedaaaaa. No need to worrrrryyyy. Everything is okayyyyyyyy. Sleeppppppp. Watch your MTVvvvvv. Watch Desperate Housewives. Watch soap operassss. Don't believe in God or his church. We will give you things to believe in. Nice liberal atheisty things. Believe in your own pleasuresssss. Save the environment. Forget those unborn babiessssss. Sleeeeeeppppp. Sleeeeeeep. Sleeeeeeep the sleeeeeep of the damned.
(The Irish national fraudcaster, catering solely to atheistic anti Catholic abortionists while enjoying a Stalinist monopoly on the airwaves whereby no one is allowed to set up television stations to compete with it. RTE has no need of viewers as it is funded through a compulsory licence fee on all those peasants who dare to own televisions. I kid you not.)
3.25 Supernanny. If she's so super what's she doing on RTE?
4.25 Murder She Wrote. The Eastern Seaboard of the United States is devastated using suitcase atomic weapons after President Barack Obama releases Al Qaeda detainees from Guantanamo Bay. Jessica sets out to solve the mystery. Sure enough, Al Qaeda dunnit. Thankfully President Obama ensures they all get trials in American courtrooms, with State appointed lawyers, and the possibility of parole.
5.20 Nuacht. What the hell is this?
5.30 The Bill. €180 please. That'll be the bill for your licence fee.
6.00 The Angelus. I'd like to ring RTE's neck.
6.01 News. Here is the news. RTE is controlled by shadowy unaccountable figures who are part of a broad conspiracy within our media, judicial and political elites, intent on destroying the Catholic church as a platform for public influence in the Republic of Ireland. We didn't surrender to Cromwell. We didn't surrender to the Muslim invaders at the battle of Lepanto. We didn't surrender to Hitler. And we didn't surrender to the Communists. Why on earth would we surrender to this abysmal shower? Ireland awake. Remember who you are.
7.00 Nationwide. Nationwide drivel.
7.30 Trish's Mediterranean Kitchen. Trish visits an award winning organic restaurant in the Camargue. Come back Karl Marx, all is forgiven.
7.57 Lotto. Throw up your sweaty nightcaps. Come on down.
8.00 Fair City. It's not fair that I have to finance this tripe and onions.
8.30 Room To Improve. Architect Dermot Bannon visits pseuds and fixes up their pseudo house to give them a better pseudo view of the mountains. If you want to figure out where Marxism came from, watch this programme.
9.00 News. More from those lovable Maoist lefties of the RTE newsroom.
9.35 Hollywood Homicide. Film made in 2003, starring Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett. The film was only ever seen by Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett's Mammies.
11.30 News. What, again?
11.35 Oireachtas Report. The Oireachtas is the Irish parliament. Tonight's programme focusses on the death of Fianna Fail. The once great party of De Valera and Lemass is sliding into oblivion. Some myths about the reason's for Fianna Fail's collapse will be laid to rest in this broadcast. Fianna Fail is not sliding into oblivion because of the economic collapse. Fianna Fail is not sliding into oblivion because of arrant corruption in the planning process. Fianna Fail is not sliding into oblivion because of having once again spent the country into a black hole of debt, borrowing billions to give 50 percent pay rises and 100 percent bonuses to nurses, teachers, police officers, soldiers, bus drivers, and all State Sector employees, as a bribe in order to win elections while lying to the general public about the existence of a thoroughly fictitious Celtic Tiger. Fianna Fail is ceasing to exist for none of these reasons. Here is the news. Fianna Fail is ceasing to exist because Prime Minister Brian Cowan and his cabinet have refused to publish the names of the golden circle of business people who were involved in borrowing hundreds of millions of pounds in order to artificially prop up the share price of the venally decrepitly vomitously corrupt Anglo Irish Bank. Fianna Fail is ceasing to exist because Brian Cowan and his cabinet have borrowed ten billion quid to bail out this same Anglo Irish Bank. If there's anybody out there who genuinely cares about Fianna Fail, let alone Ireland, it's time to wake up and put a stop to this. Don't let them hunker down and wait it out till the next election.
12.05 A supposed documentary programme.
1.05 A Month Of Sundays. Rod Steiger's Mammy didn't even bother going to this one.
2.50 Shortland Street. The apotheosis of intellectualism on RTE.
4.35 Euronews. Go toooo sleeeeeep. Baraackkk gooooood. President Bush badddddd. Free the Muslim terroristssssss. Who cares about Allllllll Qaeeeeeedaaaaa. No need to worrrrryyyy. Everything is okayyyyyyyy. Sleeppppppp. Watch your MTVvvvvv. Watch Desperate Housewives. Watch soap operassss. Don't believe in God or his church. We will give you things to believe in. Nice liberal atheisty things. Believe in your own pleasuresssss. Save the environment. Forget those unborn babiessssss. Sleeeeeeppppp. Sleeeeeeep. Sleeeeeeep the sleeeeeep of the damned.
posted by heelers | 2:35 AM
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