The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

president ahmadinejad addresses the people

The most dramatic press conference in Iranian history took place today.
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had gathered reporters in his down town office for what he'd promised would be a momentous announcement.
An expectant hush fell on the assembled Arab Muslim press corps as President Ahmadinejad strode to the lectern.
There were gasps of astonishment when the President instead of speaking, simply burst into song.
The song he sang was his own version of an old Leonard Cohen number.
President Ahmadinejad sang:

"They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
For trying to impose radical Islam on Iran from within
I'm coming now, I'm coming to reward them
First we take Manhattan
Then we take Jerusalem
I don't like your democracies Mister
I don't like your freedom, it's a sin
I don't like the Jews or the Christians
First we nuke Manhattan
Then we nuke Jerusalem
I really wanna rule your country baby
I wanna ban your body and your spirit and your clothes
But you see that line of Jihadi's hijacking embassies
I told you
I told you
I was one of those
I am guided by a great light in the heavens
I am guided by the moustache on my nose
I am guided by the beauty of our weapons
First we nuke Manhattan
Then we nuke Jerus-a-lem"

The way he sang it was positively eerie.

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