The Premiership

(Heelers league table list of enemies. Counting down to the number one position. Matches for the coming season will be carried live on Sky Sports.)

 

!0. Baldy Joe. The ersatz scruff whom Starbucks have put in charge of their outlet on Dawson Street Dublin. A woeful little dude-where's-my-car who has long since surpassed his niveau d'excellence. Baldy Joe through his pisspoor rudeness is single handedly ensuring that the Starbucks organisation continues to haemorrhage customers and cash.

 

9. Nelson and Winnie Mandela. There is no longer any meaningful newspaper reportage of internal politics in South Africa. Winnie's murder of a child called Stompie Moeketsie with a garden shears goes unmentioned in assessments of the communist couple. Nelson apparently is not to be held in any way accountable for the proclivities of his wife. Now ex wife. But she was still hitched to him back in her child killing days. Mother of the nation indeed. Meanwhile South Africa under the Mandelas has approximately 15,000 murders a year. No one is suggesting that Winnie is responsible for all of those. But still. The body count might be worth an odd mention now and again. I wonder what the pop singer who styles himself Bono ("I, I, I, ain't gonna play Sun City.") thinks of it. He was so keen to install government of the Mandelas, by the Mandelas, for the Mandelas in South Africa. You know folks, I happen to think that the people who saddled South Africa with the revolutionary tradition bear some of the responsibiltiy for the mayhem currently unfolding there.

 

8. Amnesty International. Working tirelessly to keep Islamic terrorists free to commit mass murder all over the world.

 

7. Monica Leech and the Irish government Minister who gave her hundreds of thousands of Euro in public funds to design a website no one ever visited. I would name the government Minister only his name is similar to that of another government Minister and I keep mixing the two of them up. Both are kleptocrats you understand. One is a kleptocrat who likes his ridies.

 

6. Ireland's corrupt kleptocratic Fianna Fail government. They've been bribing the near defunct Green Party to help keep themselves in power. The country is paying one hell of a price. Fianna Fail have quite literally spent Ireland overnight into the Third World. Fianna Fail did this by borrowing multi billion dollar sums in order to prop up a minor financial institution called Anglo Irish Bank. Anglo Irish Bank was a niche bank. It was not in the top three banks in Ireland. Its niche was servicing the financial needs of corrupt supporters of Fianna Fail. Its losses exceed the losses of all Ireland's other corrupt banks (Allied Irish Bank, Bank of Ireland, Irish Life And Permanent, Trustee Savings Bank, et al, particularly Al, the dirty kleptocratic barsteward) put together. There was no need to sign the public up to cover Anglo Irish Bank's losses. But yes, Anglo Irish Bank is the bank of choice for members of Fianna Fail, their friends and associates. So it had to be saved. Future generations of Irish people are being impoverished to cover Fianna Fail's gambling losses. The irony is that even after pouring billions of dollars of my money into Anglo Irish Bank coffers, Fianna Fail will not be able to save Anglo Irish Bank. Anglo Irish Bank is dead as the dodo. And keeping its shell temporarily afloat will bankrupt the nation. Fianna Fail have engaged no less a personage than the philanderer Alan Dukes a former leader of the opposition party Fine Gael to head up Anglo Irish Bank. The idea is to use Alan Dukes to give the theft of our national resources some cross party credibility. I'm not joking. Fianna Fail actually consider Alan Dukes a credible figure. Any adulterer in a storm, eh Fianna Fail. Alan Dukes recently called for the resignation of every Catholic Church bishop in Ireland. Hilarious no. Not only does this enabler of Fianna Fail kleptocracy think himself qualified to run a bank, he also and most delusionally thinks himself a moral leader of the nation. The pension Fianna Fail are guaranteeing Alan Dukes from Anglo Irish Bank is the third pension Alan Dukes will collect. I mean, the third so far. He's already been guaranteed two pensions that we know about for his failed career in Irish politics, one for being elected to parliament, and the second for a few months he spent as a government Minister a half century ago.

 

5. The Black Jackets. A Muslim Al Qaeda terror and crime franchise operating in Dublin, Galway and other Irish cities. The gang is multi national. The Arabs have come out of their comfort zone to include Nigerians, Malaysians and not a few Pakistanis. Gang members meet in the O'Connell Street branch of the Kylemore Cafe in view of The Spire monument. A Pakistani black jacket manages the Kylemore Food Court in the Stephens Green Centre. A black jacket who wears the name tag Vicki also works in the Food Court as a clumsy thug waiter. Black jackets are prominent in security jobs around the city, particularly in the Stephens Green Centre, in the MacDonalds on Grafton Street, and in the Ilac Centre on Henry Street. Their unifying ideology is Islam. Many gang members can be seen posing as sign holders on Grafton Street Dublin. They pretend to work as open air advertisers for city businesses while in reality their sole job is crime and terrorism. Their cover activity as sign holders allows them to loiter with intent at city centre locations, monitoring the streets, distributing merchandise, and most importantly getting the Irish accustomed to the public projection of Muslim power.

 

4. The Islamic Republic of Iran. Last year the Islamic Republic of Iran murdered Iran's nascent democracy movement before the eyes of the world. At the moment the Islamist Iranians have created an alliance with the Islamist government in Turkey in hopes of wiping out the State of Israel. The Islamist government of Iran has continued to develop nuclear weapons which it will use to devastate western cities just as soon as it can.

 

3. Archbishop Diarmuid Martin. The liberal atheistic infiltrator of the Catholic Church who has forged an alliance with the Irish Times, Independent Newspapers, and RTE, manipulating sex abuse scandals in order to remake the Catholic Church in Ireland in his own image. Yes I consider him worse than the Iranians. When the Iranians commit murder they are being true to their nature. There's no excuse for Archy's murder of reputations nor for his blatent attempts to hijack the Catholic Church. Pound for pound he's more evil than the Muslims.

 

2. Al Qaeda. They dream of plunging the world into black Islamic night. With an appeaser in the White House, and weak socialist atheistic governments dessicating Europe, Al Qaeda are winning this war.

 

1. The Johnston Press. The near defunct English newspaper group that bought the Leinster Leader and fired me three weeks before Christmas 2007. They still top the league table. They're still public enemy number one. With a share price in pennies and no buyers for their loss making titles, the great men of the Johnston Press are slowly discovering the consequences of their own atheistic Hyrum And Fyrum hubris. The Johnston Press is said to own 318 newspapers in Britain and around 28 newspapers in Ireland. All of these will die with the Johnston Press. Hey Johnston Press. Yeah spivs. I'm talking to you. In a prize fight, the winner is the one still standing at the end.