that my hamster hammy doth worship the living god

She hath a golden sheen on her fur which is testament to God's grace.
She hath a manner of washing herself which is a ritual of respect for herself and for her creator.
She ignoreth all human commandments except such as she considereth relevant unto her by her own discernment.
She hath a way of standing up on her two hind legs and half turning towards me as though she is the phantom of the opera with a poignant expression on her face when she wants to be taken out of her cage.
She haply doth utilise her two front legs as the most graceful and perfect hands in her washing, in her eating, in her scuttling and in her scrabbling.
She doth not bite me unlike other hamsters who hath a particular relish for ye random biting.
She doth rummage in her food dish most merrily for the food that she really likes and praises God for the good of it by getting stuck in and then jamming any left overs into her comely cheek pouches.
She doth rejoice exceedingly when she findeth a brussels sprout in her dish and immediately leaveth everything to drag it back to her nest.
She doth freeze when a dog called Paddy Pup wanders into the room and unfreezes when I reassure her that God hath sent me to mind her and that Paddy Pup praises God too and loves her too like I do.
She sulketh like a sad mouse when I put her back in her cage.
She hath jury rigged her wheel after breaking it, in that having chewed off the cog which held the wheel on its axle, she quickly got bored with the wheel falling off and she hath then stuffed bedding onto the axle to jam the wheel back in place and I wouldn't have believed it myself if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.
She hath lovely fur.
She hath bitten me only once on the belly when I didst imprison her for too long up my jumper in a cafe whilst I was eating a delicious panini the deliciousness of which she was desirous to partake a share.
She hath looked out of the collar of my shirt when a Hungarian waitress was bringing me coffee and hath caused the waitress to exclaim first with fear then with delight.
She hath been patient with budgies who are bothersome things.
She hath won over the Mammy.
She hath been kind to nephews Ray and Bill.
She quite liketh it when Fred nicknamed her the golden tennis ball.
She hath escapeth fifty times from her cage yet always hath returneth because she was such a good hamster even when she escapeth with a broken leg and I hath thoughteth that's ith, she's finisheth.
She hath spent a night in the piano and done very little damage.
She hath caused me to clear out and clean two giant book cases at the Chateau De Healy which had been accumulating books, debris, dust and detritus for twenty years, and whose renovation she precipitated as a personal gift from herself  to the Mammy who was not a hamster fan, by the simple expedient of hiding first behind one and then behind the other in the course of two successive escapes from her cage, since there was no other way to bring her forth again once installed behind a book case except to remove all the books and pull the cases out from the wall, and get rid of the rubbish and then per accidens restore everything to cleanliness, and truly in such manner she improveth everything she toucheth or indeed hideth behind.
She hath given me such joy after each escape through the first sounds of her return, whether a photo falling off a shelf or the sound of scrabbling from the back of a book case, and oh, ye glorious realisation she was back.
She hath caused Anne O'Shea from Kerry to scream and jump most alluringly into a corner.
She hath caused Japan's leading scholar of 19th century English poetry Miho Takahashi to laugh like a little girl.
She hath caused my pragmatic businessman Uncle Jim to proclaim warmly: "I love the hamster."
She couldst scuttle from a knee to a shoulder in manner most gracious.
She couldst run a hundred miles.
She tooketh a hundred falls from my sleeve without ever complaining.
She hath shewn the patient dignity God gives his creatures after pulling a framed photo on top of herself and breaking her leg.
She hath recovered in perfect mouse after nearly freezing to death the night it went twenty below zero.
She hath sat quietly up my sleeve whilest I did pray the rosary prayer.
She hath posed for photographs.
She hath never bitten holes in a jumper until the last six months of her life when she quietly decided to remodel every jumper I had.
She hath been seen when I lifted the collar of my jumper sleeping with her face resting peacefully on a cloth image of the mother of God which I wear on a chord around my neck.
She hath loved to show my nephews the working of her cheek pouches by stuffing them with madeira cake.
She hath a stump for a tail and considereth it every bit as good as a real tail.
She hath delicate little hands which become no less delicate when their delicateness is reiterated by me.
She hath whiskers which doth tickle.
She hath lovely eyes.
She wouldst wait hours in a corner of the cage standing stock still at the bars for me to come and take her out.
She hath shewn fortitude and merriment to the end.
She hath frolicked the last few days before images of the blessed mother and our lord.
She hath been graced with extra time from heaven as a favour to me.
She hath loved bananas.
She hath a strange disdain for apples.
She hath a knack for climbing.
She hath perfectly crafted ears as testament of God's artistry.
She hath once tried to carry a child's wooden Jenga block back to her cage and I had to leap across the room to stop her dislocating her jaw in an attempt to get it into her cheek pouch.
In all manner of all things she hath been my gentle parfit golden mousy friend.