the monica leech laugh in

Salman Rushdie had just heard the news.

The Ayatollah Khomeini, Iran's favourite psychopath, had just issued a Fatwa condemning him to death for publishing an incomprehensibly boring book called The Satanic Verses.

Apparently the Ayatollah believed the book satirised the peaceloving religion of Islam.

At time of issuing the Fatwa, the Ayatollah was the only person on the planet earth who had read the damn thing.

But now Salman's publisher had rung him to say that sales were through the roof.

"People who've never read a book in their lives are buying it," crowed the publisher. "I gotta tell you Salman baby, there's no such thing as bad publicity."

When the publisher rang off, Salman immediately reached for his notepad and began scribbling.

"What are you doing?" enquired his luscious secretary Slinkeesha.

"Writing down the idea for my next book," answered Salman.

"What's it going to be called," wondered his secretary.

"Buddha Is A Big Fat Bollix," replied Salman still ferociously scribbling plot outlines.