theme tune from the motion picture goutman

"Goutman, Goutman,
Does whatever a person with gout can.
Can he swing from a thread?
Not likely, he's barely able to walk.
Hey there.
Here comes the Goutman.
In the chill of night,
At the scene of a crime,
Like an old man hobblng on crutches,
He arrives just in time.
Goutman, Goutman,
Does whatever a person with gout can.
Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He's got a cocktail of pharmaceutical painkiller drugs in his blood.
Can he swing from a thread?
No, he'll more likely fall,
On your head.
Hey there,
Here comes the Goutman.

***

(With apologies to the writer of the theme tune to the old 1970's Spiderman cartoon. No really. I'm very sorry.)