the rubbaiyat of heeler the peeler

Abu Ben Heelers
May his tribe increase
Awoke one night
From a dream of great peace.
To cut a long story short, there was a recording angel sitting beside his bed jotting busily in a notepad.
The angel looked a bit nonplussed when Heelers awoke.
"Oh right," said the angel. "You're awake. I hate when this happens. Urm. Heelers. Have you sinned?"
"Yes," said Heelers without hesitation.
"Have you sinned grievously?" said the angel.
"Yes," shot back Heelers.
"Have you sinned more than the Jihadis?" said the angel.
"Yes," said Heelers again quick as ever. "I am a worse sinner than the Jihadis."
The angel looked a bit surprised at this answer.
He scored his pen through the last few sentences he'd jotted.
"Not the answer I expected," he muttered in a tone of strange high frustration.
There was an awkward silence.
"Okay," said the angel. "Let's see. Ah. It is an act of pride when you say you are a greater sinner than the Jihadis. That's it. It is your vanity speaking. You wish to excel them even in sinning."
"Not at all," said Heelers.
"What then?" challenged the angel. "Why do you say you are a greater sinner than the Jihadis?"
"Because I do not know the Jihadis hearts," replied Heelers. "And from before time it is written that I may not judge them. Or anyone else. But I do know something of my own heart. And I know I am guilty of grievous sin before God. I am the only person on earth about whom I can say this."
"You call that a punchline," cried the angel. "Ah for crying out loud. I'm going back to heaven before this gets any more corny. And don't you dare put me in your blog."
So saying he vanished.