an open letter to something called gavin o'reilly

Gavin O'Reilly.
I have written to your Daddy about certain matters and I understand he now plays no active role in the running of the anti Catholic Independent Newspapers organisation beyond taking a few hundred million a year out of the company in personal remuneration and dividends.
This is the O'Reilly method of running large companies, isn't it.
You borrow hundreds of millions from idiot gangster banks. You take over companies you know nothing about and have no capacity to run. (I am referring in particular to Waterford Crystal, the phone company Eircom and Independent Newspapers itself.) Then you asset strip those companies by paying massive salaries and dividends to your Daddy and yourself and your wives and lovers and children and friends and for all I know your cat Tiddles as well. Over the coming years you continue to borrow thousands of millions against the companies you've taken over. These borrowings are continually deferred in your balance sheets and although your companies never make a real profit, or heaven help us, pay back their ten billion dollar loans, these same companies declare profits every year from the cash flow achieved through borrowings, while you and Pops and Tiddles pocket dividends and salaries supposedly from the profits but in reality from the bank loans, and all this continues until either the companies evaporate in debt, or some idiot mercantilist crook with even bigger borrowings from idiot gangster banks than you, buys the doomed asset stripped debt laden companies from you, and the whole vomitous merry go round starts again.
Hilarious no.
Still the above venal criminality pales in comparison to the manner in which your father Daddy Warbucks founded the O'Reilly fortune, ie by stealing trade secrets from the Irish Food Company and parlaying them into a career by giving them to the HJ Heinz corporation.
But he was a younger man then.
And we won't hold it against him.
The story of the origin of the O'Reilly billions has remained long out of the public domain simply because your father bought up the print run of a tell all biography which detailed the scam, and then pulped the whole bunch.
By the way I note that you are currently trying to stampede the Irish people into buying shares in your oil company Providence Resources.
You are doing this through highly tendentious press releases suggesting you have found commercial quantities of natural gas.
Bollocks, Junior.
You've found nothing.
You've found exactly what your Daddy found when with Providence Resources antecedant, a certain bankrupt Atlantic Resources, way back in 1987, he provoked a share price explosion through similar inflammatory and purely fictional press releases.
Every one lost money on Atlantic Resources, didn't they.
Except the O'Reillys.
In spite of your claims to have lost more money than you put in, I don't see any of you going hungry.
But I'm boring you.
Normally you are not an important enough fellow to merit my attention.
Today is different.
In spite of my better nature, my attention has been drawn to the O'Reilly family and your ill gotten gains, by one of your drones in Sector Seven G who has launched an attack on me.
Now listen carefully Junior.
A contributor to your newspaper The anti Catholic Irish Independent, wrote in his column last week claiming falsely that I had called him a paedophile.
Now as a matter of fact I do regularly refer to your columnist Paedophile Ian O'Doherty as Paedophile Ian O'Doherty since a couple of years ago when that same Paedophile Ian O'Doherty falsely maliciously and malignly asserted in your newspaper that the Catholic Church is a paedophile ring.
But while calling him Paedophile Ian O'Doherty whenever the mood takes me, I have never suggested he is a paedophile.
I always make it clear when applying the epithet Paedophile to Paedophile Ian O'Doherty, precisely why I am doing it.
Incidentally, I also regularly refer to another of your colmnists, a Mr John Cooney, as Sacraments Cooney, ever since he falsely maliciously and malignly claimed that the Irish people were about to launch a boycott of the Catholic Church Sacraments.
No one would seriously suggest that in calling him Sacraments Cooney, I am claiming John Cooney is himself a Sacrament.
These distinctions can become important in a court of law Junior.
The most obtuse legal points can be vital, as Monica Leech said to the Bishop.
In last week's Irish Independent, Paedophile Ian O'Doherty also threatened me in the aforementioned column with vague and unspecified menaces asserting that I would receive "a surprise shortly."
I was not named in the column but a simple google search using the details Paedophile Ian O'Doherty gave about me, would have enabled any one of your supposed million readers a day to identify me.
Tell me Mr O'Reilly.
Do you think it's a good idea to allow your flagship title to be used by a young Carlow drug scruff to wage personal vendettas against a failed journalist with a blog that no one's ever heard of?
I mean, what's in it for you Mr O'Reilly?
Am I really the calibre of enemy you welcome into your life?
When Paedophile Ian O'Doherty writes about me in your publication, you incur liability Mr O'Reilly.
Liability is a rum thing, as Monica Leech said to your Daddy.
Dear oh dear.
Some of these druggies get a bit high on the ganja and they start thinking they're the Bolton Wanderers football team.
These David and Goliath battles don't always end in favour of the Goliaths you know.
Sleep well Junior.
Don't let the bed bugs bite your bawls.
James Healy