getting through the recession with uncle jayums

Cutting my own hair in front of the mirror.
The ghost of F Scott Fitzgerald appears.
He muses aloud by way of commentary: "After cutting his own hair, Heelers knew his mind would never romp again like the mind of God."
"Shut up F Scott," I retort, "I'm not in the mood."
I sounded a bit like Cartman from the opprobrious television cartoon Southpark.