The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Friday, May 30, 2014

the three billionaire goats gruff

Once upon a time there were three Billionaire Goats Gruff..
They lived in Fairyland.
The goats' names were Dermot Desmond, Tony O'Reilly and Denis O'Brien.
All three were proprietors of the bankrupt anti Catholic Irish Independent Newspapers Gruff.
The Three Billionaire Goats Gruff had never done a day's work in their lives but had grown rich by borrowing exponential sums from banks they had corrupted through the placement of connected individuals on the banks' Boards of Management, and then creaming off money from the borrowings in supposed remuneration at companies they had purchased or were pretending to develop using the borrowings.
The Goats knew that once somebody lends you a billion dollars you can grow rich just by pretending to trade with it.
The trick is finding (or corrupting) a gulpen thick enough (or corrupt enough) to part with the dough (legal tender preferably).
Let's be clear.
The three Billionaire Billygoats Gruff were able to get two banks in Fairyland to lend them astronomical sums of money simply by employing a relative of members of the Board of Management at both banks in a high profile job with their own Independent Newspapers Gruff.
The borrowed money was laundered through companies in the ownership of the Billionaire Billy Goats Gruff, ie companies they bought with the borrowed money, and through which they paid themselves exponential fees to run those companies into the ground.
Most salient was their ownership of Independent Newspapers Gruff
Independent Newspapers Gruff has inevitably collapsed because, in spite of the Goats' claims it was being read by the entire nation, it was little perused outside the canteen of Fairyland's Stalinist State broadcaster RTE and Fairyland's KGB sponsored newspaper The Irish Times.
It was doing no business.
Its forty year culture war against the Christian religion had left it without readers, without blessings, without any trace of light or grace, and staffed by a complement of congenital arses that would shame a Tibetan arse factory famous for producing the worst arses in the world.
I mean I don't want to go casting no aspoyshuns.
Let's be clearer.
Independent Newspapers Gruff had on its Board of Management as Chief Executive a non goat from Fairyland's high society Crowley family, Mr Snodgrass Crowley. (Vincent Crowley surely? - Ed note)
Allied Irish Banks which over the years lent the three Billionaire Goats Gruff and their Independent Newspapers Gruff billions of dollars also had serving on its Board of Management (the bank's) yet another member of the Crowley family, Mr Theobald Wolfe Crowley. (Or some such thing. - Ed note)
Theo's oversight of loans from Allied Irish Bank to the three Billionaire Goats Gruff and separately to Independent Newspapers Gruff may have been less than we might have hoped it would be in as honest and honorable a place as Fairyland since his brother was Chief Executive on the board of the three Billionaires Gruff's company.
A second bank, styled Bank Of Ireland, also had yet another member of the Crowley family, Snagglepuss Crowley, on its Board Of Management.
Snagglepuss was also inspired with a spirit of generosity towards the three billionaires gruff and their bankrupt (morally and financially) Anti Catholic Newpaper Group Gruff.
Bank Of Ireland, under the aegis of Snagglepuss, divvied up billions to the three Billiionaire Billygoats Gruff and to their company Independent Newspapers Gruff.
Every other bank in Ireland lent money to the Three Billionaires Gruff under similar circumstances.
And they all lived happily ever after.
They all lived happily ever after because when every bank in Fairyland suddenly went bust lending money to billionaires who had never done a day's work in their lives, and who had never intended anyway to repay the money they were effectively stealing from banks with improper connections to themselves through the Crowley family, and whose aberrated newspaper group's sole moral principle was a malicious detestation for the ancient beautiful and true Catholic religion and a concomitantly perverse determination to label the Catholic Church an abusing institution while Independent Newspapers itself was wilfully concealing the 99.99 percent of sex abuse cases which did not involve the Church, when this happened I tells ee, and all the banks and all the newspaper groups and all the Crowleys went bust, Fairyland's corrupt Fine Gael Labour government promptly looted the treasury to pay all the debts of the Three Billionaires Gruff and all the debts of Independent Newspapers Gruff and all the debts of their horrendous pet Crowleys Gruff, borrowing untold billions against future generations merely to keep this confederacy of dunces in BMW's, and instantaneously placing Fairyland in the Third World overnight and enslaving a generation of young Fairies and Fairies yet unborn to a debt they can never repay.


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