The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, November 02, 2015

today they said

Irish government spokesman: "We may introduce legislation which would allow us to tag criminals."

James Healy: "Why not just put criminals in jail?"

Irish government spokesman: "We are going to equip the police with new high powered Audi vehicles to enable them to pursue criminals."

James Healy: "Every time our police pursue criminals, and the criminals mow down someone at the side of the road, you put our police under investigation. Everybody knows that consquently the police in Ireland now no longer give chase when they encounter criminals in motor cars. Here's a thought. Why not just take the Audis away from the criminals?"

Irish government spokesman: "We are going to hire 600 extra police in the coming months."

James Healy: "Great. Like the corrupt gangland cop you inflicted on Kilcullen for fifteen years. Oh joy. We'll all sleep easier tonight with 600 of those on the beat."

And on a lighter note...

US President Barack Obama: "We will go after the oil facilities which Isis is using to gain revenues."

James Healy: "Why not just tell the Turks to stop buying oil from Isis?"


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