The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, February 29, 2016

hung parliament in ireland

Outgoing Prime Minister Enda Kenny stood before the assembled parliament.
Unzipping his fly he plonked Hezekiah down on the lectern.
"Mine is bigger than yours," he roared defiantly, "ye whingers."
With calm dignity the IRA terrorist mafia's proxy parliamentarian Sinn Fein capo Gerry Adams stood up and strode to the lectern.
"No it's not," he cried, unzipping and brandishing Ezekiel.
All over the chamber similar cries went up and similar zips were unzipped to reveal similar euphemisms for penises.
It was like the I'm Sparticus moment in Sparticus, except with penises.
The women parliamentarians, many of them elected under gender mandate legislation which had disqualified more popular candidates, ie candidates with more votes, for the crime of having penises, looked on enviously.
The Speaker of the House hammered his gavel, futilely seeking to regain control.
"Order," he cried in desperation. "Order, order, order. Would the members of the house please remember where they are!"

Gavel: Irish euphemism for penis.


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