our television listings
RTE1
(An atheistic abortionist contraceptivist Stalinist television station funded through compulsory taxation on the citizenry of the Republic of Ireland who are forced to finance RTE whether they watch it, or approve of it, or abominate it, or not.)
9.00 Murder She Wrote. Jessica is arrested on suspicion of murder after Sheriff Teasle realises there has been a homicide in close proximity to her at least once a week every month every year for the past two decades.
10.00 Strictly Come Dancing. Tonight Yolanda will be partnering Fred in the dance off with Maisie and Zorgon. The couples will be dancing to the sounds of the Monty Baines Big Band who will be playing their jazzed up version of "I Just Bought A Burgher From the Mahdi of the Mother who inspired The Jihadi who was a brother of the Baddie Who Tried To Stab The Prince Of Wales."
12.00 Midday News. Read by Kim Jung Un featuring the usual denunciations of President Donald Trump which RTE likes to pass off as news..
1.00 Lunch Hour with the Stars. Who knows what the hell this is.
2.00 Hawaii Five Oh. Grittily violent remake of pervily violent American 1970's cop series, this time set in Dublin Ireland and featuring lagar louts who become police officers. It would have been better if they'd extended the theme tune to a full three minutes. At least those three minutes would have been vaguely watchable.
2.30 The Bill. Miffley has Dodgeson bang up to rights for GBH against Bolky but the Guvnor wants to call it quits. Foreign language programme for psychopaths..
3.00 Women's Hour. Leg waxing harridans discuss how much they agree with each other about everything.
4.00 Murder She Wrote The Early Years. A teenage Jessica prevents a teengage Osama from nuking Cabot Cove. A whiff of Summer romance is frowned on by their families.
5.00 Early Evening News. Read by Chairman Mao.
6.00 The Angelus. The bells, the bells, rung by Quasimodo.
6.01 Evening News. Read by Lavrenty P Beria.
7.00 The Archbishop Diarmuid Martin Laughter Hour. Horror series in which an atheistic leftist plant infiltrates an ancient church in order to enslave it to Communism and then hands over the running of Hollis Street hospital to a pair of abortion activists who turn it into a charnel house and then use it to launch a reverse takeover of the famous and much respected Saint Vincent's hospital and then through a slanderous media campaign contrive to expel the nuns of Saint Vincent's from the running of their own hospital. I mean I don't want to go casting no aspoyshuns.
8.00 The Omen. Documentary about Pope Francis.
9.00 News And Weather. Read by Pol Pot. (Who is also Director General of RTE)
9.30 The Rose Of Tralee. Wearisome beauty contest presented by Randy Mac Rahman.
10.00 The King Of Comedy. Martin Scorsese's only good film.
12.00 The Commish. Another cop show. one that doesn't even bother trying to create any credibility for its outrageous plot lines. This week Chief of Police Noreen O'Sullivan refuses to resign after it emerges that her officers have been routinely falsifying crime statistics by simply not recording the homicides. This follows on last week's episode when Noreen O'Sullivan refused to resign after the discovery of a money laudnering operation at the Police training college. A similar theme was evident in the episode three weeks ago when Noreen O'Sullivan was accused in the Irish parliament of being a party to the framing of a hero cop on false allegations of child abuse. Yet another similar theme occurred in the episode four weeks ago when Noreen O'Sullivan refused to resign after Irish police officers claimed to have carried out a million breath test operations on motorists that never took place. This follows hot on the heels of the episode six weeks ago where a parliamentary enquiry demanded Noreen O''Sullivan hand over all her mobile phones and Noreen O'Sullivan while refusing to resign claimed she couldn't hand over her mobile phones because she had lost them all. Seriously though she's doing a brilliant job.
1.00 Closedown. I wish they would close the bloody thing down.
(An atheistic abortionist contraceptivist Stalinist television station funded through compulsory taxation on the citizenry of the Republic of Ireland who are forced to finance RTE whether they watch it, or approve of it, or abominate it, or not.)
9.00 Murder She Wrote. Jessica is arrested on suspicion of murder after Sheriff Teasle realises there has been a homicide in close proximity to her at least once a week every month every year for the past two decades.
10.00 Strictly Come Dancing. Tonight Yolanda will be partnering Fred in the dance off with Maisie and Zorgon. The couples will be dancing to the sounds of the Monty Baines Big Band who will be playing their jazzed up version of "I Just Bought A Burgher From the Mahdi of the Mother who inspired The Jihadi who was a brother of the Baddie Who Tried To Stab The Prince Of Wales."
12.00 Midday News. Read by Kim Jung Un featuring the usual denunciations of President Donald Trump which RTE likes to pass off as news..
1.00 Lunch Hour with the Stars. Who knows what the hell this is.
2.00 Hawaii Five Oh. Grittily violent remake of pervily violent American 1970's cop series, this time set in Dublin Ireland and featuring lagar louts who become police officers. It would have been better if they'd extended the theme tune to a full three minutes. At least those three minutes would have been vaguely watchable.
2.30 The Bill. Miffley has Dodgeson bang up to rights for GBH against Bolky but the Guvnor wants to call it quits. Foreign language programme for psychopaths..
3.00 Women's Hour. Leg waxing harridans discuss how much they agree with each other about everything.
4.00 Murder She Wrote The Early Years. A teenage Jessica prevents a teengage Osama from nuking Cabot Cove. A whiff of Summer romance is frowned on by their families.
5.00 Early Evening News. Read by Chairman Mao.
6.00 The Angelus. The bells, the bells, rung by Quasimodo.
6.01 Evening News. Read by Lavrenty P Beria.
7.00 The Archbishop Diarmuid Martin Laughter Hour. Horror series in which an atheistic leftist plant infiltrates an ancient church in order to enslave it to Communism and then hands over the running of Hollis Street hospital to a pair of abortion activists who turn it into a charnel house and then use it to launch a reverse takeover of the famous and much respected Saint Vincent's hospital and then through a slanderous media campaign contrive to expel the nuns of Saint Vincent's from the running of their own hospital. I mean I don't want to go casting no aspoyshuns.
8.00 The Omen. Documentary about Pope Francis.
9.00 News And Weather. Read by Pol Pot. (Who is also Director General of RTE)
9.30 The Rose Of Tralee. Wearisome beauty contest presented by Randy Mac Rahman.
10.00 The King Of Comedy. Martin Scorsese's only good film.
12.00 The Commish. Another cop show. one that doesn't even bother trying to create any credibility for its outrageous plot lines. This week Chief of Police Noreen O'Sullivan refuses to resign after it emerges that her officers have been routinely falsifying crime statistics by simply not recording the homicides. This follows on last week's episode when Noreen O'Sullivan refused to resign after the discovery of a money laudnering operation at the Police training college. A similar theme was evident in the episode three weeks ago when Noreen O'Sullivan was accused in the Irish parliament of being a party to the framing of a hero cop on false allegations of child abuse. Yet another similar theme occurred in the episode four weeks ago when Noreen O'Sullivan refused to resign after Irish police officers claimed to have carried out a million breath test operations on motorists that never took place. This follows hot on the heels of the episode six weeks ago where a parliamentary enquiry demanded Noreen O''Sullivan hand over all her mobile phones and Noreen O'Sullivan while refusing to resign claimed she couldn't hand over her mobile phones because she had lost them all. Seriously though she's doing a brilliant job.
1.00 Closedown. I wish they would close the bloody thing down.
posted by heelers | 4:32 AM
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