de re ducula

Sitting at the window seat in the Tearman Cafe.
I beckon the Manageress.
She approaches.
"I miss the wooden ducks," I tell her.
"You weren't the only one who complained," sez she.
"I wasn't complaining. That was public discourse. Intended to edify and stimulate. I was teaching but I was learning too. I had no complaint at all."
"Well they're gone."
"A pity. Having just gotten used to wooden duck displays promoting mutual masturbation as marriage, I was starting to feel quite progressive. I was looking forward  to seeing your ducks embracing the rest of the liberal atheistic agenda for our country. I was looking forward to seeing a duck having an abortion. And I couldn't wait to see your asssisted suicide ducks. Or a couple of your ducks euthanising an elderly duck."