The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Thursday, August 15, 2019

towards a grand theory of everything

A bolt from the blue.
Sudden clarity.
The vapid erotomania and sensualised violence of the James Bond films is not a realistic depiction of reality.
More importantly the depiction of women in James Bond films is not accurate.
I have entered adult life burdened by a basic misconception about the feminine mystique.
In real life there are no Bond girls.
There are no girls sidling around suggestively with names like Pussy Galore, Honeychile Ryder or Doctor Holly Goodhead.
Even the Irish Bond girl Givvus Akiss is not real.
These people do not exist.
Women are not like this.
Those James Bond films have a lot to answer for.
My social awkwardness is now understandable.
Like the conformist skangs blaming the Catholic Church for their lack of happiness, I have at last found an excuse.
It's all James Bond's fault.
I wonder could I sue Cubby Broccoli's estate.
Broccoli always was my least favourite vegetable.


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