valorous idylls chapter 18

You Don't Know How Lucky You Are, Back In The, Back In The, Back In The Tallaght Hospital Franks Ward

Upstairs again.
Evening has settled over Dublin.
The night staff are starting their shift.
"Would you like something to eat?" asks a golden haired nurse.
"I would," sez I.
"What would you like?" sez she.
"Two pork chops, some rashers and eggs, a plate of chips and a caffe latte." sez I.
"I'm thinking something more in the line of tea and toast," says the nurse.
"That will be fine," sez me.
My mobile phone rings.
It is Rowena Baines a neighbour.
"I got your message telling us to be careful about slipping on the avenue," she exclaimed. "But I didn't realise it was serious. You never let on. How could you do that?"
"That's called acting," I told her.
"How did you fall exactly?"
"I fell. People fall all the time."
"Was it..."
"No. It wasn't them."
"I've lit a candle to Saint Anthony for you," she said. "It will be burning all night here in the house."
She rang off.
I was pleased about this.
Among those believed by Catholics to be saints in heaven, Saint Anthony is in the most positive sense of an old fashioned phrase, a dude, right up there with earthly dudes such as Calum Swift, Doctor Danilo and Maloney's surgical team.
If you lose something ask him to intercede with God for you.
Go on.
Try it.
Another radiant nurse drifts into my ambit and plumps my pillow.
Plumping your pillow is a Tallaght hospital euphemism for plumping your pillow.
Sigh.
"Did anything happen during the operation?" I ask her.
"It all went well?" she assures me.
"Why am I still on oxygen?" I ask.
"Oh your oxygen levels fell suddenly, that's all," she says.
"Would falling oxygen levels be dangerous?" I enquire fascinated.
"The doctors will talk to you tomorrow," she says firmly.
"It's just, Nurse, I'd hate to nearly die and not know," I plead.
"Stop thinking about it," advises the nurse.
"I mean I wouldn't be upset but it would make a great story if I knew," I persist.
She looks at me with the firstlings of fondness.
"Don't worry about those things," she proffers and then as she's walking to the door she calls back: "Oh, We're going to keep you on oxygen through the night. So there's nothing to worry about there either."