a user's guide to the political parties standing in the irish general election

FINE GAEL: The party of government in Ireland at present. Atheistic. Abortionist. Contraceptivist. Euthanasist. Has redefined marriage to include mutual masturbation between people of the same gender. Has legislated for easy divorce. Has legalised abortion  after promising not to. Has provided through State sanction mutilating sex change operations (which do not actually change a person's sex because that capacity does not exist within the medical profession) for children and adults. Favours the decriminalisation of the IRA's drug trade. Fine Gael has endorsed and extended the illegal bail out by their Fianna Fail predecessors in government, of the IRA's bank Anglo Irish Bank using public money to pay the IRA's bank debts. Anglo had been systematically looted through illegal billion dollar loans to IRA capo Sean Quinn using methods pioneered by Cosa Nostra in Italy to rob Banco Ambrosiano in the 1980s. Fine Gael provided Fianna Fail with the illusion of cross party consensus in throwing at least 60 billion dollars of public money to the IRA to conceal the IRA's multi billion dollar heist at their own bank, even going so far as to furnish Anglo with a supposedly neutral chairman in the form of ex Fine Gael leader Alan Dukes. (Not just in the form of Alan Dukes. It was Alan Dukes. - Ed note) Consistently favour the collapse of immigration law and the Thirdworldification of Ireland. Advocate belief in Climate Change as a justification for their sovietisation of Ireland's politics and economy.

FIANNA FAIL: The main opposition party. Atheistic. Abortionist. Contraceptivist. Euthanasist. Favours concept of marriage as including mutual masturbation between people of the same gender. Acquiesced to Fine Gael's legalisation of abortion. Acquiesced to the provision of mutilating sex change operations (which don't work) to children and adults. Favours easy divorce. Favours the legalisation of drugs. The original kleptocratic party who pioneered the illegal bail out of the IRA's bank Anglo Irish Bank putting Ireland in the Third World overnight. This was the same illegal bail out mentioned above as having been since continued and extended by Fine Gael. Fianna Fail consistently favour the collapse of immigration law. Advocate belief in Climate Change on the same principles as Fine Gael does, ie everyone else is saying it so why can't we.

THE LABOUR PARTY: Negligible presence in parliament. Atheistic. Abortionist. Contraceptivist. Euthanasist. Favours concept of marriage as including mutual masturbation between people of the same gender. Favours easy divorce. Favours the legalisation of drugs. Favours the collapse of immigration law. Advocates belief in Climate Change.

THE GREEN PARTY: Negligible presence in parliament but punch above their weight by effectively dominating other parties at the policy level. The other parties dance attendance upon them. Faux environmentalists. Faux because their supposed concern about the environment is an excuse to justify soviet style interventionism, high taxation and the surrender of sovereignty to the absolutely unaccountable and unelected nascent world pseudo government at the United Nations. Have built their entire reputation on propagating the lie that is Climate Change.

SHIT FEIN: The proxy political party of the drug dealing, people trafficking, child abusing, Anglo Irish Bank robbing, nation subverting, fingernail pulling IRA mafia. Probably the most moral of Ireland's political party's at present. They are what they are. Evil and proud of it.

ANTI AUSTERITY ALLIANCE: The world owes us a living. What could possibly go wrong? Ringers controlled by Shit Fein.

PEOPLE BEFORE PROFIT: Led by the charismatic street protestor Givvus Afiver. More ringers controlled by Shit Fein.