The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, January 27, 2020

goutman forever

The Chief of Police looked up from his desk.
A dark imposing figure with a flapping cloak sat perched somewhat awkwardly on the edge of the windowsill, one foot in, one foot out, of the 20th floor office.
"Goutman!" exclaimed the Chief. "What are you doing here? Do you have some leads for me?"
The strange visitor's voice rasped through the gloom.
"Popcorn and cranberry juice work wonders for urinary frequency."
"Er thank you Goutman."
"A long soak in a warm bath is better than any known medication for piles and to ease constipation and induce bowel movements. It really works."
"Okay-y-y."
"The Anglo Irish Bank collapse was an IRA bank job with the looting of billions carried out by Sean Quinn's IRA family under the guise of illegal loans obtained from bank board members and employees such as Sean Fitzpatrick and David Drumm whom the Quinns had subverted using a model pioneered by Cosa Nostra and the Freemasons at Banco Ambrosiano in Italy in the 1980s."
"Wait Goutman. What was that last one? Goutman! Goutman! Dammit. He's disappeared again. How does he do that!"

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