quantum of bowlocks

 Atheistic scientists have grown accustomed to claiming in throwaway remarks that Quantum Theory accurately predicts the width of the United States of America within a margin of error the size of a human hair.

I'm not sure the concept of the width of America to the preciseness of the width of a human hair has any meaning.

America like any conceivable land mass contracts and expands notionally and constantly. A sandbar dries out. That's a different width. A tectonic plate shifts. Another new width. A clod of earth falls off Massachusetts. Woah there baby. That's a lot of human hairs right there.

But does Quantum Theory predict the width of countries if we consider the concept of width within the margin of a human hair to have meaning?

Quantum Theory predicts no such thing.

Quantum Theory is a novelisation of reality written in pure mathematics whose predictions are specifically whatever the framers of the theory put into it.

You cannot go to Quantum Theory to find the width of America, or Britain, or Ireland, or Sumatra, or a human hair.

But if you already know the width of those countries or islands or hairs by measuring them with a ruler, or a metre stick, or a vernier calipers or a machine that has been calibrated from one of those, you can adduce from Quantum Theory that wow the width is what it is, and that's just what we'd expect it to be from some shenanigans interpretation of Quantum Theory.

Quantum Theory can no more be said to predict the width of America, than Tolstoy's War And Peace can be said to predict the results of the Napoleonic Wars.

But wait.

War And Peace is 100 percent accurate in predicting the battles Napoleon fought in Russia.

War And Peace is 100 percent accurate in its representation of the outcome of the battles.

War And Peace is 100 percent accurate in its depiction of big eyed sexy Russian women. (Cf: Evgenia Tarasova, Irina Kuksova, inter alia.)

War And Peace is 100 percent accurate in the names it gives to leading French generals and to leading Russian generals, and to members of Russia's royal family.

So Quantum Theory must be true.

I just feel it, you know.