miscellaneous extraneous aneous

 

(This week's best stories, hot off the printer. No jokes here. All these happened.)

FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES

A Ryanair flight has been hijacked by Belarussian State security forces seemingly in order to seize Roman Protasevich a Belarussian opposition figure. The air piracy gambit involved using a Mig fighter to force the plane to land in Belarus. Ryanair Chief Executive Michael O'Leary claimed this evening that KGB men were on the plane. Presumably he means Russian KGB agents, although the KGB now calls itself FSB (which stands for Fucking Shite Bastards). Initially I found it hard to believe that the KGB would fly Ryanair even as part of a kidnapping operation. But Belarus is reputedly controlled by resovietising Russian President Vladmir Putin so Michael O'Leary might be right if he was implying what I think he is implying. On the other hand clearly Putin and President Alexander Lukashenko (Putin's puppet dictator in Belarus) are mad to be messing with Ryanair or Michael O'Leary. I know Michael O'Leary and I know Ryanair. I mean I've seen them on TV. And I wouldn't mess with either of them. Or fly on their planes. Never mind hijack them.

THE THREAT OF MARXISM

Pop singer Richard Marx has published some sort of a threat on the internet aimed at American senator Rand Paul. The purported threat consisted of the singer offering to buy a drink for a felon who four years ago broke Senator Paul's ribs. Richard Marx' chagrin with the senator stems from Rand Paul refusing to eat Soylent Green. It was fun to see Rand Paul tonight on television, disparaging Richard Marx as a D list celebrity. The singer is most famous for a song called Hazard which is a song so exquisite as to be almost beyond description, exquisitely filmed for video, exquisite actress making Richard look good, and exquisite melody, lyric, orchestration and studio production. The thing is nearly perfect. The video dating from 1992 features the singer, at the time a youthful goony teddy bear of a man (no disrespect to any Teddy Bears who are reading this) trying heroically to look like a bad boy as he's pursued by the police for a murder he says he didn't commit. I always thought he probably did it. I used to shout at the video: "Shoot him." Since I formerly advocated shooting Richard Marx for a make believe murder in his song, I probably don't have a leg to stand on in getting sniffy about Richard Marx' implied threats to Senator Paul. But I would have loved if the news people had played that song during Rand Paul's interview. If I was running Fox News, they would have played the full song when Rand Paul said that Richard Marx was a D list celebrity and then challenged Rand Paul on his rating.

THE TASH OF CIVILISATIONS

The orator Hatun Tash was arrested in Hyde Park, London, earlier today for the crime of being surrounded by a mob of peaceloving Muslims who didn't like her tee shirt which had a caricature of the Prophet Muhammed on it. The British police took the easy way out. Arresting the victim. It won't save them. The French tried appeasement with Muslims during the first years of the War On Terror and their country has been a sea of Jihad murder, derailed trains, truck rammings into pedestrians, slaughters in theatres, suicide bombings, stabbings, beheadings, burning churches, unexplained plane crashes and terrorised streets ever since. The dysfunctions in Islamic culture threaten all humanity. Not just Hatun Tash.

That is all.