london five

Today they said...

Lord Sebastian Coe: (Speaking of Chinese secret service agents disguised as sportsmen in blue tracksuits accompanying the Olympic torch.) "They pushed me around as the torch was making its way through London. Other countries should get rid of those guys. They tried to punch me out of the way three times. They are horrible. They did not speak English. I think they were thugs."

James Healy: "Well duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You should see what they're doing to the people of Tibet."

Paula Radcliffe: (Marathon runner) "You must not mix the Olympics with politics."

James Healy: "The problem with steroids is that they just build musculature. Clearly they don't help sportsmen develop a sense of moral responsibility towards their fellow human beings."

Connie Huq: (Television presenter who carried the torch.) "I saw Chinese men in blue tracksuits in skirmishes with the police. They were very robotic, full on. They were barking orders."

James Healy: "Ah. Did little Connums get upset? The next time some representative of the world's most oppressive dictatorship asks you to help him look good before the eyes of the world, maybe you'd consider telling him to stick his Olympic torch where the sun don't shine. No, not in Tibet. In the other place where the sun don't shine."

Anonymous sportsperson: "Carrying the torch was a once in a life time opportunity for any athlete."

James Healy: "Carrying the torch was a once in a life time opportunity for any athlete to say to the communist Chinese government: I won't carry your torch, until you withdraw your army of occupation from Tibet and cease murdering peaceful Tibetan people in the interests of your abysmal useless cultureless clapped out Maoist empire."

(Heelers is not with us. - Dalai Llama note.)