I Spy (on The Heelers Diaries)
A HUMOUR COLUMN
By IAN O'DOHERTY
Coo blimey.
Whar.
Couple of salacious references to sex.
Wharrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(Blah, blah, blah. - Ed note.)
I'm a superhero but sometimes I use my powers for good.
Couple of jokes a bit like something from The Heelers Diaries.
Whargh.
Ha, ha.
(Yadda, yadda, yadda. - Ed note.)
Priapic.
Priapic, priapic, priapic.
I love that word.
Priapiccccccccccccccccccccc.
(Steady. - Ed note.)
An anecdote from The Simpsons.
Anyhoo.
Catholic church repressed me.
Catholic church ruined my sex life.
If it wasn't for the Catholic church I'd be having great sex all of the time.
(Oh shut up. If it was that simple we'd all be getting some. - Ed note.)
I love the O'Reilly family.
Hail to the chief.
Oh I'm such a radical dude.
Hail O'Reilly.
Hail.
Oh pale parvenu.
How thou has conquered.
(You what guv? - Ed note.)
Piece of analysis about Bob Geldoff and the Ethiopian Famine taken from The Heelers Diaries.
Heartfelt.
I feel it in my heart.
Doesn't matter where I got it from.
(Yehaaaaaaaaaaaaa. - Ed note.)
I'm going to introduce some new characters which I feel the audience will enjoy.
A sheepdog called Laddy Pup.
And an aged parent known as The Gammy.
Nobody can say I've stolen those.
Arf, arf.
(Arf, arf indeed. - Ed note.)
I love Ed notes, don't you.
(They're getting a bit wearisome. - Ed note.)
There's no God.
If there was a God how could he let me use the style, insights and sensibilities of a sublime writer like Heelers to gild my drivel.
Ha!
A few more salicious maunderings.
Whargggggggggh.
Whoar. Whoar.
Some nifty pop cultural references appearing in print for the second time in the history of humanity.
Er.
That's it.
(There's nothing James Healy can do to stop me reading his website. Nothing. Nyah, ha, ha, G-Force. - Ian O'Doherty note.)
(I can make it a lot less fun for you. - James Healy note.)
(And if you keep ripping James Healy off, I might have to punish you. - God note.)
By IAN O'DOHERTY
Coo blimey.
Whar.
Couple of salacious references to sex.
Wharrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(Blah, blah, blah. - Ed note.)
I'm a superhero but sometimes I use my powers for good.
Couple of jokes a bit like something from The Heelers Diaries.
Whargh.
Ha, ha.
(Yadda, yadda, yadda. - Ed note.)
Priapic.
Priapic, priapic, priapic.
I love that word.
Priapiccccccccccccccccccccc.
(Steady. - Ed note.)
An anecdote from The Simpsons.
Anyhoo.
Catholic church repressed me.
Catholic church ruined my sex life.
If it wasn't for the Catholic church I'd be having great sex all of the time.
(Oh shut up. If it was that simple we'd all be getting some. - Ed note.)
I love the O'Reilly family.
Hail to the chief.
Oh I'm such a radical dude.
Hail O'Reilly.
Hail.
Oh pale parvenu.
How thou has conquered.
(You what guv? - Ed note.)
Piece of analysis about Bob Geldoff and the Ethiopian Famine taken from The Heelers Diaries.
Heartfelt.
I feel it in my heart.
Doesn't matter where I got it from.
(Yehaaaaaaaaaaaaa. - Ed note.)
I'm going to introduce some new characters which I feel the audience will enjoy.
A sheepdog called Laddy Pup.
And an aged parent known as The Gammy.
Nobody can say I've stolen those.
Arf, arf.
(Arf, arf indeed. - Ed note.)
I love Ed notes, don't you.
(They're getting a bit wearisome. - Ed note.)
There's no God.
If there was a God how could he let me use the style, insights and sensibilities of a sublime writer like Heelers to gild my drivel.
Ha!
A few more salicious maunderings.
Whargggggggggh.
Whoar. Whoar.
Some nifty pop cultural references appearing in print for the second time in the history of humanity.
Er.
That's it.
(There's nothing James Healy can do to stop me reading his website. Nothing. Nyah, ha, ha, G-Force. - Ian O'Doherty note.)
(I can make it a lot less fun for you. - James Healy note.)
(And if you keep ripping James Healy off, I might have to punish you. - God note.)
posted by heelers | 8:04 AM
4 Comments:
Is this person Ian O Doherty someone? (A la Nuala O Faolain)
Frances.
There's many a true word spoken in jest.
J
You know, I think you put into words much better than I can what I've sometimes felt. Specifically, the day after I'd submitted my completed (and exclusive) report to the Saginaw News editors, I'd be commuting and listening to the radio and the %&*$&*%ing girly-girl radio "reporter" would paraphrase my article without attribution.
I think my reaction made the drivers in other lanes rather nervous. Especially the howling and frothing.
I can't imagine what it must be like, though, to see the plagiarism in print, though. You are obviously much further along in the "turn the other cheek" mode. My spleen hurts on your behalf.
MissJean, We are the meek who shall inherit!
Although so far I've noticed nothing meek about you.
And hey. I only turn the other cheek in order to get a better angle for a (literary) head butt. I'm hoping the Lord has a sense of humour about this one!
J
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