meet the candidates
Following the unlikely success of Mary Lou McDonald for Sinn Fein in the last European elections, Irish political parties have rushed to get in on the Attractive-Young-Women-As-Candidates act. Subtlety has never been a valued commodity in Irish politics. The present electoral season sees an unprecedented number of personable young women candidates lining out in Dublin constituencies. Heelers helps you tell them apart.
Mary Lou McDonald (Sinn Fein): Yesss. Still got it. If I'm ever kidnapped by the IRA and interrogated in the basement of the Dillis Flats complex, I hope they'll hit me with the Mary Lou. Oh, take me to the torture chamber and swear that you love me. Still the original and the best of all the honeychiles in Irish politics.
Claire Byrne (Fine Gael): Ride. Bottomless eyes. Sublime eyeless bottom. A body that won't quit. I mean there's nothing else to be said, except perhaps Arooogahhhhh. And come to Butt Head.
Maria Parodi (Labour): Honey. Latin soul, wild tempestuous zorgotrons. The emergence of Italian women in Irish political life is long overdue. Take me. Take me now. Nyah ha ha, G Force. Sorry. I lost it there for a moment.
Catherine Ardagh (Fianna Fail): You'd better wise up, Catherine Ardagh. You're a sensual attapensual. When we made it, did you hear a bell ring? Ding, dong. When we made love, I shouted hurrah. "Up the Republic," said Catherine Ardagh. Ah, if we could only have our druthers.An arrogant smile playing about her magnificent porcelain features. There's only one thing on her mind. Phwoarrrr indeed.
Sarah Ryan (Fianna Fail): Sweet sensual maiden of burgeoning allure. Who knows what she's thinking? We can only hope. If only I could tame her. Hubba hubbah. She wants me Beavis.
Rebecca Moynihan (Labour): Sex on legs. Brown eyes of the gazelle. Thou art indeed more fair than all the tresses of Naiera's hair. Thy beauty it has brought me home to the grandeur that was Greece, and the glory that was Rome. Well, you know what I mean.
Emer McDaid (Fine Gael): Babe. Lissom and lithe. A face and form that beckons like a siren. Not one of those Woo Woo Woo sirens either. I mean one of the good sirens. Although let's face it, Woo Woo Woo is also the most likely and most coherent comment that will arise from any serious contemplation of her manifold irresistible psycho sexual aura.
Anita Reilly (Fianna Fail): An honest, intellectual and principled parliamentarian.
Mary Lou McDonald (Sinn Fein): Yesss. Still got it. If I'm ever kidnapped by the IRA and interrogated in the basement of the Dillis Flats complex, I hope they'll hit me with the Mary Lou. Oh, take me to the torture chamber and swear that you love me. Still the original and the best of all the honeychiles in Irish politics.
Claire Byrne (Fine Gael): Ride. Bottomless eyes. Sublime eyeless bottom. A body that won't quit. I mean there's nothing else to be said, except perhaps Arooogahhhhh. And come to Butt Head.
Maria Parodi (Labour): Honey. Latin soul, wild tempestuous zorgotrons. The emergence of Italian women in Irish political life is long overdue. Take me. Take me now. Nyah ha ha, G Force. Sorry. I lost it there for a moment.
Catherine Ardagh (Fianna Fail): You'd better wise up, Catherine Ardagh. You're a sensual attapensual. When we made it, did you hear a bell ring? Ding, dong. When we made love, I shouted hurrah. "Up the Republic," said Catherine Ardagh. Ah, if we could only have our druthers.An arrogant smile playing about her magnificent porcelain features. There's only one thing on her mind. Phwoarrrr indeed.
Sarah Ryan (Fianna Fail): Sweet sensual maiden of burgeoning allure. Who knows what she's thinking? We can only hope. If only I could tame her. Hubba hubbah. She wants me Beavis.
Rebecca Moynihan (Labour): Sex on legs. Brown eyes of the gazelle. Thou art indeed more fair than all the tresses of Naiera's hair. Thy beauty it has brought me home to the grandeur that was Greece, and the glory that was Rome. Well, you know what I mean.
Emer McDaid (Fine Gael): Babe. Lissom and lithe. A face and form that beckons like a siren. Not one of those Woo Woo Woo sirens either. I mean one of the good sirens. Although let's face it, Woo Woo Woo is also the most likely and most coherent comment that will arise from any serious contemplation of her manifold irresistible psycho sexual aura.
Anita Reilly (Fianna Fail): An honest, intellectual and principled parliamentarian.
posted by heelers | 5:17 AM
2 Comments:
Heelers.
Did you make something with Catherine Ardagh?
Avid Fan
It's a song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Frankenfurter sings it to Janet Weiss. Janet is also a honey by the way, and probably therefore eligible to stand in Irish general elections.
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