our television listings
RTE1
(The Irish national fraudcaster. A television station of the liberal atheists by the liberal atheists and for the liberal atheists. But financed by a compulsory tax on the Catholic citizenry of our country. Clever, what!)
4.25 Murder She Wrote. Anti Catholic dross. Ooops. Sorry. That's all the other programmes on RTE. Jessica tries to help a woman clear her name after the woman is accused of murdering a famous artist. Yawn. I bet the bitch did it.
5.20 Nuacht. What the hell is this?
5.30 The Bill. The bill is 500 hundred million quid. That's what it costs to run this irreligious doss house. RTE, I mean. Detective Superintendant Mickey Webb obtains information that suggests a colleague is corrupt.
6.00 The Angelus. Rung by Quasimodo.
6.01 News.
7.00 Capital D. How they get a half hour programme out of a single letter of the alphabet is beyond me.
7.30 Eastenders. Cor blimey, Denise's dinner party for Jordan cor blimey falls apart, cor blimey.
8.00 Fair City. The two frantic searches for Rachel's missing gerbil and the mislaid Lotto ticket, finally converge. The gerbil has the Lotto ticket in her cage. I can think of no joke about this plot line. It is beyond the reach of my callow mockery. For the first time in my life I must accept defeat. Fair City thou hast beaten me.
8.30 The Enforcers. Tonight's programme follows Fisheries Inspector Karen Griffen on the trail of malefactors fishing without permits. I hope she doesn't catch me.
9.00 News. In case anything has happened since 6 o'clock.
9.30 Prime Time. You couldn't kill John Bowman and his carefully selected panel of liberal atheistic conformists if you were to ram a stake through their black hearts. But I'm willing to try.
10.10 The Mentalist. A convicted killer persuades Jane to reopen his case and prove him innocent. I bet the b-st-rd did it.
11.05 Peadar King investigates pesticide poisoning in Paraguay. I wonder did he stay at a cheap hotel during his brave and essential mission to unmask repressive government pesticide policies in the sun splashed South American holiday paradise of Paraguay.
11.35 Oireachtas Report. Gesundheit. I met the presenter of this programme Ursula Halligan in the Costa cafe on Nassau Street in Dublin this afternoon. I thought she was the red haired bird from The Clinic soap opera television series. I asked her for her autograph and she very kindly obliged. Didn't scream. Didn't shout: "Get this man away from me." For my part I too was as nice as pie. Not a trace of anti RTE rhetoric. As though butter wouldn't melt in my mouth. Come the revolution all RTE staffers will still be first up against the wall. But not Ursula Halligan. She will get off with exile.
12.05 News. Barack goooood. Goooo tooo sleeeeeep. Abortionnnnns niceeeee. Sleeepppp. Catholic churchhhhh baddddd. Sleeeeeppp. Weee will lookkkk afterrrr youuuu. Sleeppppp. No neeeeeeeeed for God. RTE is Godddddddd. Sleeppppppp. Sleeepppppp my prettieeeeeeess. Sleeeeeeep.
(The Irish national fraudcaster. A television station of the liberal atheists by the liberal atheists and for the liberal atheists. But financed by a compulsory tax on the Catholic citizenry of our country. Clever, what!)
4.25 Murder She Wrote. Anti Catholic dross. Ooops. Sorry. That's all the other programmes on RTE. Jessica tries to help a woman clear her name after the woman is accused of murdering a famous artist. Yawn. I bet the bitch did it.
5.20 Nuacht. What the hell is this?
5.30 The Bill. The bill is 500 hundred million quid. That's what it costs to run this irreligious doss house. RTE, I mean. Detective Superintendant Mickey Webb obtains information that suggests a colleague is corrupt.
6.00 The Angelus. Rung by Quasimodo.
6.01 News.
7.00 Capital D. How they get a half hour programme out of a single letter of the alphabet is beyond me.
7.30 Eastenders. Cor blimey, Denise's dinner party for Jordan cor blimey falls apart, cor blimey.
8.00 Fair City. The two frantic searches for Rachel's missing gerbil and the mislaid Lotto ticket, finally converge. The gerbil has the Lotto ticket in her cage. I can think of no joke about this plot line. It is beyond the reach of my callow mockery. For the first time in my life I must accept defeat. Fair City thou hast beaten me.
8.30 The Enforcers. Tonight's programme follows Fisheries Inspector Karen Griffen on the trail of malefactors fishing without permits. I hope she doesn't catch me.
9.00 News. In case anything has happened since 6 o'clock.
9.30 Prime Time. You couldn't kill John Bowman and his carefully selected panel of liberal atheistic conformists if you were to ram a stake through their black hearts. But I'm willing to try.
10.10 The Mentalist. A convicted killer persuades Jane to reopen his case and prove him innocent. I bet the b-st-rd did it.
11.05 Peadar King investigates pesticide poisoning in Paraguay. I wonder did he stay at a cheap hotel during his brave and essential mission to unmask repressive government pesticide policies in the sun splashed South American holiday paradise of Paraguay.
11.35 Oireachtas Report. Gesundheit. I met the presenter of this programme Ursula Halligan in the Costa cafe on Nassau Street in Dublin this afternoon. I thought she was the red haired bird from The Clinic soap opera television series. I asked her for her autograph and she very kindly obliged. Didn't scream. Didn't shout: "Get this man away from me." For my part I too was as nice as pie. Not a trace of anti RTE rhetoric. As though butter wouldn't melt in my mouth. Come the revolution all RTE staffers will still be first up against the wall. But not Ursula Halligan. She will get off with exile.
12.05 News. Barack goooood. Goooo tooo sleeeeeep. Abortionnnnns niceeeee. Sleeepppp. Catholic churchhhhh baddddd. Sleeeeeppp. Weee will lookkkk afterrrr youuuu. Sleeppppp. No neeeeeeeeed for God. RTE is Godddddddd. Sleeppppppp. Sleeepppppp my prettieeeeeeess. Sleeeeeeep.
posted by heelers | 1:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home