war on terror chortles

1. The Canadian government has just reported that one of its government jets was almost blown out of the sky when an Air Emirates jet suddenly flew at it bald headed. The incident happened in April. The Canadian government has only released details of it now. The Canadian government denies that the Prime Minister of Canada was on board the government jet. The Canadian government is refusing to say exactly who was on board the government jet. Which of course means the Prime Minister of Canada was on board the government jet. None of the admittedly meagre reporting of this incident has mentioned little known comedy improv group Al Qaeda. There has been no media speculation as to whether one of the pilots on the Air Emirates jet thought he'd get in a little Jihad at the end of a long tiring trans Atlantic flight. There has been no speculation as to whether an Al Qaeda operative working in Canadian air traffic control deliberately put the two planes on a collision course. No speculation at all. Best not to worry. It'll all sort itself out eventually. Sharia law anyone?

2. The Irish Times has just reported the conviction of a member of an Islamist gang who tortured and murdered a Jewish man in France. The Irish Times report gave very scant details of the torture. They obviously don't want to distress people. The Irish Times managed to get through its report on the torture and murder of this Jewish man without once mentioning Muslims, Islam or Al Qaeda. The Jewish man was tortured and murdered by a gang of twenty people all of whom were Muslims. Probably a coincidence. Here is the news. What happened to that Jewish man was murder. But the real crime happened after. Eh Irish Times?

3. A British Airways jet had to be evacuated yesterday after the cabin filled with smoke. No one was hurt. Reports of the incident have made no mention of possible Al Qaeda infiltration of airline maintenance crews. Reports of the incident have made no corelation with ten similar incidents of varying serverity from smoke in the cabin to explosions in the cargo bay, at Qantas airlines in Australia. Reports of the incident have made no corelation with similar incidents on Air France plance. Reports of the incident haven't so much as mentioned the destruction of an Air France plane and its passengers and crew over the Atlantic recently. At this stage I wouldn't be surprised to hear that the police want to interview President Bush about the incidents. Spokesperson for the Civial Aviation Authority Mr Osama Bin Laden commented: "There's no story here. Move along quickly now. President Bush bad. Barack gooooodddddd. Go back to sleeeeppppppp my prettieeeeeees."

4. And finally Esther. Sky News billed its broadcast interview with the current American President as Obama Versus Bolton. This was a rather dramatic title. I am referring to the use of the word Versus which implies a certain adversarial quality to the proceedings. In truth President Obama was in little danger from Sky's interviewer Tim Bolton. Unless of course we include the danger of being fawned to death.