wolfen

This comment came in yesterday:

James we've got over you. Keep up your schitck though; it's momentarily amusing.
Anonymous

It was the Johnston Press.
Genuinely them.
There were two clues which gave it away:
1. They'd misspelled schtick. That would be just about their speed.
2. It had taken the entire Johnston Press organisation a full 48 hours to come up with their comment in reply to an article of mine and this was the best they could do. A full 48 hours with the whole lot of them working flat out to missssspell schtick. That also would be just about their speed.

There was something else.
This was the first ever comment from the Johnston Press which the Johnston Press wanted me to know for certain came from the Johnston Press.
This one had left a deliberate cyber footprint to their offices in Horsham West Sussex.
No need for a tip off from my usual sources within the company.
No need for computerised telecommunicational didgeridoos.
No need for software.
Plain as day.
Horsham indeed.
There's lots of hors wandering around there.
All working for the Johnston Press.
Hors of Babylon as we do say in the trade.

The Johnston Press Horsham, West Sussex office has been a constant presence on this website for several years. Someone there obviously likes great literature. But no one ever left a comment before. I wonder why they've started now.

Up to this moment when the Johnston Press wanted to leave a comment on this website, they crossed the road from their Horsham West Sussex office and walked into Bristol, East Sussex.
There they logged on via Easynet, the internet service provider of choice for those who do not wish to be traceable or identifiable.
The Easynet comments have all been anonymous but some attempted to convey the impression of being written by a fan.
There were comments about Irish millionaire Tony O'Reilly.
There were comments discussing condom culture.
There were comments from Internet Service Provider Number 90.195.61 at Sky.com (Easynet) signed "Don" about my articles on Anglo Irish Bank.
Another time the Johnston Press geniuses had even written "Allah U Akba, we are watching," beneath a photograph of my nephews.
Apparently at this stage the Johnston Press commenters were attempting to pose as members of Al Qaeda.
How very classy of them.
I knew that it was a Johnston Press comment right away because the half wits had misspelled Allah U Akbar.
I kid you not.
And then there were the usual Johnston Press sneers.
But all from the same source.
All the comments.
All the Dons.
All the Sean O'Briens.
All the Anonymouses.
All just the same Johnston Press in drag.
So anonymous.
Yet so readily identifiable.


Yesterday as the Johnton Press empire flocked to the Heelers Diaries once more, in response to some gentle good humoured tomfoolery I had written about them, there was one notable absence.
No visit via Easynet from Bristol, East Sussex.
It was most strange.

And that comment from the Johnston Press in Horsham.
The first ever comment where the Johnston Press deliberately made itself identifiable on this blog.
Most strange.

And not even a sneer.
The first ever Johnston Press comment that isn't either duplicitously attempting to establish a false identity or sneering in the key of sektor sieben gah.
Quite a pleasant comment really.
Almost witty.
Most strange.

Could it all possibly have anything to do with my recent light hearted remark about bugged telephones.

The News of the World bloke got three months for bugging telephones you know.

Memo To all members of the general public who have been asking me did I want them to boycott the Leinster Leader and the Johnston Press, to all businessman who have contacted me asking me did I want them to withdraw their advertising from the Leinster Leader and the Johnston Press, to all Rah men, Jihadis and other reprobates who have asked me did I want them to have a personal word on my behalf with the Leinster Leader and the Johnston Press...
The Leinster Leader and the Johnston Press no longer enjoy my protection.