under the seal of the scimitar

It is midnight in Teheran.
Starlight glistens over the minarets.
Faint sighs the sound of traffic from the streets.
The red drapes are drawn on the windows at the Presidential palace.
In his office at his large mahogany desk sits President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
At this time and in this hour he knows himself very much to be a man of destiny.
He is waiting alone.
There is a tap on the door.
Two figures enter.
The first is Muammar Gadaffi, Head of State of Libya.
The second is Osama Bin Laden, Sheikh of the Mujahideen.
President Ahmadinejad stands.
There is no need for words or greetings.
This meeting has been arranged and expected for a long time.
It is their annual midnight rock and roll jam session.
Osama and Mahmoud grab electric guitars.
Muammar, because he has no beard, has to play drums.
They begin to play.
They are playing their own version of Gimme All Your Lovin by the decadent imperialist American infidels ZZ Top.
Their song fills the wood panelled office and echoes into the streets outside.
A few Teheran natives walking home late after dark pause to listen curiously.
The song goes:

"We gotta take your countries
Cos what you've got is oh so sweet
I've gotta make it hot
Like an A bomb I need a repeat
Kill me all your infidels
All your Jews and Christians too
Kill me all your Buddhists
Don't let up until you do
Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner.
You've got to blow them up
And wipe Israel off the map
You gotta dump anthrax on Washington
Get some lone pyscho to take the rap
Kill me all your infidels
All your Jews and Christians too
Kill me all your infidels
Don't let up until you do
Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner.
Nirdly nirdly ner, ner ner ner ner.
Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner.
We gotta put women in sacks
And shoot em if they go to school
Don't let them see a better life
Ignorance is our only tool
Gimme all your killin
All your germs and chemicals too
Gimme all your A bombs
Don't let up until you do
Ner ner ner ner ner
Nirdly nirdly ner
I've gotta take a shot
And hit Europe like a ton of lead
If we sabotage democracy in Iraq and Afghanistan
Would you let it go to your head
Gimme all your Jihad
All your Hamas and Hezbollahs too
Gimme all your Al Qaeda's
Don't let up until you do
Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner
Nirdly nirdly ner.
Ner ner ner.
We've got to Islamise
In a Muslim theatre of the absurd
We've got to civilise
In the exact opposite meaning of that word
Kill me all your infidels
All your Jews and Christians too
Kill me all you infidels
Don't let up until you do.
Ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner ner
Nirdly ner."

As they finish up, all are sweating freely.
Colonel Gadaffi wipes a strand of hair from his forehead.
"Not bad," he says. "But couldn't we bring the Swiss into it?"
"Oh you and the Swiss," laughs Osama slapping him playfully on the buttocks. "It's always the Swiss."
"Yes leave the Swiss alone," intones President Ahmadinejad. "There will be time enough to wipe the Swiss off the map when we've erased everyone else."
No further words are necessary.
The three amigos grin.
Satanically.