idea for a pop music video that's unlikely to be aired any time soon

The song is a parody of a parody.
It is based on a tune called Star Trekking which was itself a homage to the old Star Trek television series.
Star Trekking as originally conceived featured a discordantly catchy beat and maniacal voice impressions of the television show's characters Captain Kirk, Mister Spock, Doctor McCoy, Lieutenant Uhuru and Engineer Scotty.
It's lyric ran in part:

"Star Trekkin
Across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise
Under Captain Kirk
Star Trekkin
Across the universe,
Always going forward,
Cos we can't find reverse."

The new version will be called Star Muslims.
It begins like the original with a raucous burst of chorus.
It's best sung in the bath, or at United Nations conferences on the environment, or at Nobel Peace Prize ceremonies.


Chorus: "Psychotic Muslims
Across the planet earth
Trying to enslave humanity
Cos we are Muslim jerks.
Star Muslims
Want to kill you all
Or better yet a living death
Under Sharia Law."


Breathless female narrator: "Introducing... Captain Osama Bin Laden."


Osama's voice: "Islam is a religion of peace.
Blow you up.
Blow you up.
Islam is a religion of peace.
Blow you up Jim.
Islam is a religion of peace.
Blow you up.
Blow you up.
Islam is a religion of peace.
Blow you all to hell.
Scotty where's my suicide vest?"

Chorus: "Suicide bombin
Across the universe
On the star ship Al Qaeda
Cos we are Muslim jerks.
Star Muslims
Now you all must die
We just torched the city of Paris
And poisoned Rome's water supply.
Star Muslims
This song contains a clue.
We're gonna either kill
Or enslave the lot of you."


Breathless narrator: "Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini..."


Ayatollah Khomeini: "It's worse than that, it's a Fatwah Jim.
Fatwah Jim.
Fatwah Jim.
It's worse than that, it's a Fatwah Jim.
Kill Salman Rushdie
It's worse than that, it's a Fatwah Jim.
Fatwah Jim
Fathwah Jim
It's worse than that, it's a Fatwah Jim.
Kill Salman Rushdie.
And anyone else you feel like killing,
Nyah ha ha Gee Force."

Chorus: "Star Muslims
Across the universe
On our hijacked aeroplanes
Cos we are Muslim jerks.
Star Muslims
With more gory Muslim schlock
We just hacked up a Dutch PM
And slaughtered Theo Van Gogh."


Breathless Narrator: "President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran..."


President Ahmadinejad: "I'm a psycho Jim
But not as you know it.
Not as you know it.
Not as you know it.
I'm a psycho Jim
But not as you know it.
I'm full of Muslim crap.
Killin a few just ain't enough.
Ain't enough.
Ain't enough.
Killin a few just ain't enough.
Wipe Israel off the map."

Chorus: "Star Muslims
Across Western Europe
Infiltrating day and night
Cos we want to blow it up.
Star Muslims
You dunno what we did.
We just blew up trains and buses
In London and Madrid.
Star Muslims
We like our red meat raw
We love to commit mass murder
While invoking Sharia Law."


Breathless Narrator: "Libyan Leader Colonel Muammer Gadaffi."


Colonel Gadaffi: "Ye cannae change the laws of physics.
Laws of physics.
Laws of physics.
Ye cannae change the laws of physics,
Laws of physics Captain.
If you offer the Scots a billion dollar oil deal
A billion dollar oil deal
A billion dollar oil deal
If you offer the Scots a billion dollar oil deal
And concessions for British Petroleum
Then the Scots are always gonnae release the Lockerbie bomber
And reward mass murder with appeasement."


Chorus: "Star Muslims
Across the universe
On the star ship Mass Murder
Cos we are Muslim jerks.
Star Muslims
You gotta give us top billing
Our hobbies are Sharia Law
And an occasional honour killing.
Star Muslims
You've got nothing to fear
An occasional honour killing
Means just 5000 dead girls in Egypt alone every year."


Breathless Narrator: "The Profit Mooooohammed..."


Muhammed: "We come to kill.
Shoot to pieces.
Shoot to pieces.
Shoot to pieces.
We come to kill.
Shoot to pieces.
Scotty where's my tea?
We come to kill
With Saudi backers
Saudi backers
Saudi backers
We come to kill
We are head hackers
We are head hackers Jim
We come to kill
We are head hackers
We are head hackers
We come to kill
We are head hackers
Scotty watch your back.
We come to kill
With Saudi backers
Saudi backers
Saudi backers.
We come to kill with Saudi backers
Hey everyone
Fill your cars with oil."


Ayatollah Khomeini: "It's worse than that, it's Jihad Jim."


President Ahmadinejad: "Israel is dead Jim, dead Jim."


Colonel Gadaffi: "It's a billion dollar oil deal Captain, but not as we know it. Och aye. Allah U Akbar."


Osama: "Let us usher in the rule of the Mahdi by erasing the human race from the planet earth."


Lieutenant Uhura: "There's Muslims on the starboard bow,
Starboard bow
Starboard bow
There's Muslims on the starboard bow,
Scrape them off Jim."

Colonel Gadaffi: "Israel's nae gonna take it Capn. She's gonna blow."

And fade to black.