this sporting life

Evening at the Chateau De Healy.

Doctor Barn is in the kitchen doing a crossword.

Enter the noble Heelers, stage right, looking tired.

"What's up with you?" says Doctor Barn.

"The Rose of the Orient is over for the Hopkins poetry festival," I explain wearily.

"So?" quoth he.

"So I'm ferrying her around like a taximan," sez me.

"Why are you doing that?" quoth he.

"In return for sexual favours," sez me.

"Really?" quoth he.

"Yes," sez me, "I act as her personal chauffeur and in return as a favour she desists from pestering me to have sex her."