heelers oddscapades 2010

(Celebrating the great diversity that unites us!)

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The Top Ten

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Oddest name for a new hamster: Field Mouse Von Rommel.

Oddest film I actually liked: Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo.

Oddest greeting on a wintery December morning: The neighbours kid Hannah crying out "Hi James, my cat ate another of your robins."

Oddest bed fellows: Well I certainly never expected to write in defence of Julian Assange and his anti American anti Western Wikileaks blog. Nor did I ever expect to agree with Poor-Little-Rich-Girl-Who-Married-A-Muslim Jemima Khan or Lifelong-Supporter-Of-Communist-And-Islamist-Murderocratic-Dictatorships John Pilger, both of whom have also honorably defended Julian Assange.

Oddest epiphany: When my cousin Thomas asked me why the Leinster Leader fired me and I replied "Because I'm a slob."

Oddest episode of Southpark that I actually liked: The one where Santa Claus is captured by Saddam Hussein's henchmen and tortured, and the Son of the Hebrew God launches a rescue mission with the Southpark kids. Particularly the bit where an Iraqi torturer produces an electro prod and Santa says "No, not Santa's balls," and the guy electrocutes him and then Santa says "You f---n b------d, I'm gonna f---n kill you."

Oddest news reportage: Jointly awarded to Sky News and Al Jazeera. The night Al Qaeda bombed Stockholm, Sky News insisted on leading with a three day old news story about student protests in London. Sky only gave the Stockholm attack top billing on its bulletins after midnight when most viewers were safely in bed. The reason Sky did this is because Sky is financed by Al Qaeda supporting members of the Qatar royal family. Sky's main revenue stream comes from advertisements for the airline Qatar Air. So Sky ain't never gonna focus on the growing threat from the Jihadis. Not until they nuke London. Al Jazeera is also financed by the Qatari royal family. Al Jazeera's main story the night Al Qaeda bombed Stockholm was a typically delusional report about an environmentalists conference at Cancun in Mexico. No Islamic Jihad here folks. Move along quickly now.

Oddest crassness in news reportage: The perennial winner CNN takes the biscuit again for the following two doozies. Firstly reporter Nick Valencia when describing a murderous drug gang in Mexico that perverts Christianity to enslave local communities, said: "The drug cartel is rooted in religion." Hardly Nick. Perverting a religion to destroy lives hardly amounts to a commitment to, or inspiration by, that same religion. Very poor Nick. Karl Marx saved the world, did he Nick? Got a degree in politics, did you Nick? Listen mate. You need to go to church. Secondly CNN Muslim In Chief Fareed Zakaria who a few years ago was responsible as editor at the near defunct Newsweek Magazine for a fake story claiming Americans had flushed Korans down the loo, (a story that invigorated Al Qaeda and got our soldiers killed) this evening accused another journalist of exagerrating Muslim support for terrorism. Fareed Zakaria was permitted by CNN to disseminate a ludicrous statistic in his attempts to discredit Glen Beck of Fox News. Fareed Zakaria claimed live on air that "only 0.01 percent of Muslims support terror." The broad mass of the people will more easily believe a big lie than a small one, eh CNN! In fact, surveys throughout the Muslim world have repeatedly shown high levels of support for terrorism with as many as 70 percent of Muslims admitting to supporting terrorism "in some circumstances." When the circumstances are specified, ie "against Israel," or "against America," or "against the West," the number of Muslims who admit to supporting terror is actually higher.

Oddest sense of irony: Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin accusing America of being anti democratic and unethical after Prime Minister Putin read a private American diplomatic cable which his agents had stolen and handed over to Julian Assange's anti American website Wikileaks and which contained an accurate assessment of Putin's Russia as a mafia State and a further assessment of Putin himself as the real power in Russia with the titular President Dmitry Medvedev merely a sidekick Robin like figure to Putin's Batman. (Not the good sort of robin either. - Ed note.)

Oddest Nobel Prize Winner: Imprisoned Chinese humanitarian Lu Xiaobo. He was an odd choice because he actually deserved to win. In recent years the Nobel Prize Committee have been handing out Nobel Prizes to people who did not deserve to win, namely Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, Barack Obama and any other member of the left leaning American Democratic Party who bothered showing up at the gates. Apparently this year the Nobel Committee recognised that the prestige of the Nobel Prize had been so damaged by their previously serially blatent awarding of it to leftist politicians that they actually finally decided to give it to someone who truly was risking his life in the cause of peace and freedom for suffering and enslaved humanity. I genuinely didn't see it coming.

Oddest reason why I believe the Bible is true: There are almost no accounts in the Bible of Jesus' childhood. If the Bible was made up, you'd think the Lord's childhood would be a goldmine of fictional miracles and adventures. The only incident from his childhood that is recounted for us, is when he goes missing at the age of twelve and Mary finds him in the temple surrounded by the elders. She asks: "Why did you do this to us?" The little boy answers: "Don't you know I must be in my father's house." That's it. That's all of his childhood that we get to hear about. And it's a story that doesn't even add up. If they were faking the Bible, I'd have expected them to drop this story because it raises more questions than it answers. My own mother once told me: "Jesus must have been a little rip when he said that in the temple." I think the only reason that story is included in the Bible is because every word of it is true.