The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

smells like teen archie

The Soviet era infiltrator of the Irish Catholic Church, Archbishop Diarmuid Martin has been somewhat quiet of late.
Aside from a stream of fairly vacuous press releases emanating from his palace in Dublin Nine and lovingly reprinted by the anti Catholic press, he's been more or less off the map.
I ask you folks.
If I'm wrong about Archie being a Soviet era infiltrator, why on earth are Independent Newspapers, the Irish Times, and RTE, to wit the most anti Catholic media groups on the planet earth, why on earth I asks ee, are they so in love with him.
Anyhoo.
This week he attempted to return to centre stage.
First he informed priests that he was cutting their salaries.
Archie claims he's cutting priests' salaries because Catholics have donated less money to the church this year.
I reject this claim.
I counterclaim that Archie is cutting priests' salaries because he needs to find cash to pay the spies he has hired and despatched to every church in the Dublin area.
The spies are supposedly parish workers, but in reality they are Archie's eyes and ears sent to monitor priests going about their daily ministry.
The spies' duties include making sure the Padres aren't defying Archie's instructions by failing to display in their churches the tendentious self incriminating and self abasing notices apologising for child abuse which Archie has mandated.
These parish worker spies, Archie's hirelings, have not been deemed necessary at any other period during the two thousand year history of Catholicism in Ireland.
But they're necessary now.
Cos Archie wants to make sure he can nip any rebellious Padres, ie Padres loyal to the Catholic Church, in the bud.
And that gentle readers is why there is a shortfall in the finances of the Dublin diocese.
Archie's been throwing the money away on his spies.
He's been spending it like Beckham.
There's more.
Having informed the priests that they'd have to take a pay cut, Archie next tried to confuse them by aping to share their concerns about ongoing media misrepresentations of sex abuse cases.
With a holier than thou mien, he asserted that the scale of sex abuse occurring within the church had been exaggerated.
Well, duhhhhhhh.
Archie did this in a sermon in a Dublin Church.
The sermon was as per usual faithfully reported by Archie's anti Catholic allies at Independent Newspapers and the Irish Times.
It was all a bit rich.
Not for the first time Archie lifted his analysis from The Heelers Diaries, turned it on its head, and attempted to portray himself as a defender of the church.
He told the congregation that some media coverage of sex abuse had been unfair and had led people to believe most abusers were priests.
Really Archie!
Where did you read that!
And how on earth could people ever have been misled about the level of abuse in the church?
How on earth could people have come to believe the grotesque media lie claiming that the worst cases and the preponderance of cases involved priests?
How on earth could people have been deluded by the snowstorm of mendacity in the Irish Independent, Irish Times, RTE and Judge Yvonne Murphy's Nazi style report asserting maliciously that Bishops' attempts to handle sex abuse cases discreetly amounted to the concealment of sex abuse?
How on earth could people have been led by the nose to ignore the 99.99 percent of child abuse cases, ie the most serious and extreme cases which have occcurred at the hands of non Catholic people with no Catholic involvement, those most vile of vile cases which have arisen in government care, Health Boards, sports clubs, orphanages, Doctor Barnardos, and hospitals, and within families, and at the hands of paedophile rings, and devil worshippers, the vast majority of cases no less, how could the truth about these most serious cases occurring in the general population precisely because of the rise of a vicious atheistic sex culture pleasure ethic and the propagation of that corrupting and disrupting ethic within those aforementioned anti Catholic media groups, how could all this have been so successfully obfuscated while the media and political and judicial elites contrived a veritable pogrom against our ancient and beautiful Catholic faith?
Here's how.
Because you helped them do it Archie.
They were nothing without you.
I gotta tell you sunbeam.
You're arriving a little late at the Heelers Diaries Defend The Church party.
And you're impressing no one.
By the way, I recall one of the other occasions when you plagiarised my website.
I had suggested that you and other atheistic liberals were using sex abuse scandals in an attempt to remake the Catholic Church in your own image.
You took my phrase about remaking the Church, translated it into Italian, and delivered it as if butter wouldn't melt in your mouth to a gathering of prelates in the Vatican.
You hijacked my phrase describing you, and used it to demonise your enemies.
Ah memories.
You've got bawls I'll give you that.
But whatever Satan is paying you, it's not enough.
Your attempts to recast yourself as a defender of the Church will fail.
We know what you are.
Short of a genuine conversion to Christianity, you will stand or fall on your record, on what you have done, on your collaboration with the atheistic media in attempting to hound honorable decent self sacrificing Bishops from office.
You will be judged on this.
Not on your latest press release.
You will be judged on your attempts to contrive guilt for a generation of Bishops over their handling of sex abuse cases and to deny them the right to defend themselves when that guilt had been so contrived, solely so that you could replace them with your own handpicked atheistic liberal social workers.
Sussed Archie.
And so we go on.
Beasts, creatures, things.
Exultant into the night.
My thoughts drift to the Daily Mail's reporter Katie Kerrigan who this week excoriated the ancient Church for its new translation of the holy mass.
Kerrigan is an atheistic liberal who has hated the Catholic Church with pious passion for thirty years.
But she insists she has a right to call herself Catholic by virtue of the fact that she now sends her progeny to a Catholic school.
I kid you not.
I suppose she's about as Catholic as you are Archie.
But she's not a Catholic in any meaningful sense of that term.
Her entire adult life has been spent sneering at the church, advocating condom culture and abortion culture, and vaguely annoying me whenever I was unfortunate enough to come across her semi literate maunderings.
And now she not only insists she be accepted as a Catholic, she also insists she be given credibility as an insider to comment on church affairs.
Let's be clear.
Katie Kerrigan is not a Catholic.
She doesn't believe there's a God.
She doesn't believe God had a son.
She doesn't believe that the son of God commissioned the Catholic Church to serve himself in human history.
What has this to do with you Archie?
Well in her latest syncopated maundering (Newspaper article surely - Ed note) Katie Kerrigan was criticising the new English translation of the mass and blaming its compulsory promulgation on the Vatican.
Irony of ironies.
She's right about the translation.
It should never have happened.
The compulsory manner in which it happened should never have happened.
But she's wrong to try and use it as a divide and conquer tool in her war to separate Irish Christians from the ancient Church.
The ancient Church.
I keep saying the ancient Church.
Hint: I'm not referring to one set up by King Henry the Eighth, Joe Stalin, Adolf Hitler, or Mary MacAleese, or a segment of it systematically infiltrated by the IRA on behalf of Soviet Russia.
There you go.
You know what I'm talking about.
Mary Kerrigan is also wrong in thinking that because she self designates herself as a Catholic, she is entitled to speak as a respected insider about Church affairs.
She is less Catholic than the Muslim parents who send their children to Catholic schools in Indonesia and the Philippines because they recogise that Catholic education and spiritual values will give their young people a tremendously enlightening start in life.
At least some Muslims believe in God and respect the Catholic Church.
Katie Kerrigan neither believes in God nor respects his Church.
She rejects one and despises the other.
Yup.
As I've said before, she's probably about as Catholic as you are Archie.
Here's the point.
She thinks it's the Vatican that's promulgated the new English translation of the mass.
And Archie.
Oh Archie.
I'm looking at this dreadful unwise injudicious translation and considering the dreadful manner in which it has been foisted on us.
And Archie.
Archie.
I don't think this thing was forced on us by the Vatican.
I think it was you.

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