what lies beyond
Coffee with Maisie in the Cafe Des Beaux Parvenus at Newbridge Silverware.
"Reggie Baines was talking about a woman he knows that gets messages from God," Maisie informs me matter of factly. "Reggies says the woman is predicting a nuclear war."
I snort snortily.
Far be it from me, gentle travellers of the internet, to pooh pooh the idea of nuclear war, or the apocalypse, or Klingons on the starboard bow for that matter.
I myself am a complete neuro and regularly predict all of these things.
But really.
Some people.
"Reggie Baines," I pronounce with strange high disdain. "Reggie Baines does not know any such woman. He's read her prophecies on the internet. She calls her website The Warning Second Coming. I gotta tell you. Reggie Baines has moved seamlessly from Christina Gallagher on Achill Island, to the Magnificat Meal Movement in Australia, via the Lay Apostle Anne, turned left at Medjugorje, took a breather at Garabandal, headed round by Moll Watsons, and now he's ending up right back where he started from, with this Second Coming loo ball. All of them potential fakes, likely fakes, definite fakes, absolute fakes, cosmic fakes, or worse than fakes. With the possible exception of Moll Watson who is an Irish colloquialism and never claimed to be anything else. And now Reggie's touting this nutty anonymous Second Coming goon. Look it's all possible. The Lord said that in the end times he would pour out his spirit and everyone would be seeing visions. In among the murderous false Messiahs, the Jim Jones, the David Koreshes, and what have you, we might eventually discern real prophets. But we've been warned to be careful. I'm no better than Reggie. I've been an idiot in this regard. I still haven't properly repudiated Christina Gallagher. Still. Even now. Yeah. She looks like Fake Fake Mac Fake the great Fake from Fakeville Illinois. But I haven't repudiated her because I gave her a pattycake interview back in 1993 and I liked her. And even today I still feel I can't repudiate her until I look her in the eye and say: You're a Fake, Fake, Fake, ya big Fake Mac Fake of Fakedom. But look. People need to test the spirits. The Lord warned us that many false ones would come in his name and that they would lead some of his closest truest followers astray if that were possible. We're meant to be careful. We're not meant to jump with joy at every galoot who comes along spouting prophecies and claiming visions. I'm telling you Reggie Baines would probably believe Christina Gallagher if she walked up to him and said she'd just had an apparition of Kermit the Frog and that he wants us all to watch The Muppet Show. Test the spirits. If the Muppet Show hasn't been on the box for twenty years, then the bitch is a fake."
"Reggie Baines was talking about a woman he knows that gets messages from God," Maisie informs me matter of factly. "Reggies says the woman is predicting a nuclear war."
I snort snortily.
Far be it from me, gentle travellers of the internet, to pooh pooh the idea of nuclear war, or the apocalypse, or Klingons on the starboard bow for that matter.
I myself am a complete neuro and regularly predict all of these things.
But really.
Some people.
"Reggie Baines," I pronounce with strange high disdain. "Reggie Baines does not know any such woman. He's read her prophecies on the internet. She calls her website The Warning Second Coming. I gotta tell you. Reggie Baines has moved seamlessly from Christina Gallagher on Achill Island, to the Magnificat Meal Movement in Australia, via the Lay Apostle Anne, turned left at Medjugorje, took a breather at Garabandal, headed round by Moll Watsons, and now he's ending up right back where he started from, with this Second Coming loo ball. All of them potential fakes, likely fakes, definite fakes, absolute fakes, cosmic fakes, or worse than fakes. With the possible exception of Moll Watson who is an Irish colloquialism and never claimed to be anything else. And now Reggie's touting this nutty anonymous Second Coming goon. Look it's all possible. The Lord said that in the end times he would pour out his spirit and everyone would be seeing visions. In among the murderous false Messiahs, the Jim Jones, the David Koreshes, and what have you, we might eventually discern real prophets. But we've been warned to be careful. I'm no better than Reggie. I've been an idiot in this regard. I still haven't properly repudiated Christina Gallagher. Still. Even now. Yeah. She looks like Fake Fake Mac Fake the great Fake from Fakeville Illinois. But I haven't repudiated her because I gave her a pattycake interview back in 1993 and I liked her. And even today I still feel I can't repudiate her until I look her in the eye and say: You're a Fake, Fake, Fake, ya big Fake Mac Fake of Fakedom. But look. People need to test the spirits. The Lord warned us that many false ones would come in his name and that they would lead some of his closest truest followers astray if that were possible. We're meant to be careful. We're not meant to jump with joy at every galoot who comes along spouting prophecies and claiming visions. I'm telling you Reggie Baines would probably believe Christina Gallagher if she walked up to him and said she'd just had an apparition of Kermit the Frog and that he wants us all to watch The Muppet Show. Test the spirits. If the Muppet Show hasn't been on the box for twenty years, then the bitch is a fake."
posted by heelers | 9:13 PM
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