doctor barn's casebook

Afternoon coffee with Doctor Barn.
I've played him a recording of a voicemail which someone purporting to be Paedophile Ian O'Doherty (so called since he falsely maliciously and malignly claimed in the anti Catholic Irish Independent that the Catholic Church is itself a paedophile ring) has left on my mobile phone.
The person leaving the voicemail threatens to break "Every finger in my body."
Doctor Barn listens owlishly.
"Well," says he with a smile, "I wish he would break your fingers."
"Why?" sez me, face drawn and poignant.
"Because then you'd get cash out of him," chortles Dr Barn with more levity than I liked.
Why is it noble readers of the internet, that everyone I talk to about this, seems to find the prospect of me getting my fingers broken, even by a semi literate low brow drug scruff, so goddam funny?