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Scene: Denmark. A castle. Midnight. Alarums, flourish and hautboys. Enter Tim Marshall of Sky News carrying a taper. He seems strangely troubled.

Tim Marshall: To be or not to be.
That is the question.
Whether tis nobler in the mind
To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of Muslims
And by opposing end them
Or to continue to explain away
Every new Islamic atrocity
With twee euphemisms
Suggesting those who oppose Muslim Terror are racists
While your television station finances itself
From donations by the Royal Family of Qatar
The big hearted non racist Mussies
The same ones who run Al Jazeera the Nazi channel
I kid you not
Ay there's the rub
For telling the truth about Muslims can get you killed
Or unemployed
Or worse
You should see what they do to schoolgirls who cross them in Afghanistan
Hoo baby
Whereas surrendering to Muslims
Or ignoring what they are doing to humanity
Or acquiescing to it even
Might mean I can hack another few years
Out of this dishonorable trahesion of discourse
Masquerading as a career
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied over with the pale cast of thought
You know how this ends don't you
We will all live and die
In black Islamic night
Ay there's another rub
The Caliphate
That barbarism from whose bourne
No dreamer or society returns
Oh it is death
Living death
But in that sleep of death
What dreams may come
Some of the Mussies claim to believe they get to ride women in the afterlife
As a prize for killing honkies
The women apparently have no say in the matter
Le plus se change
To die
To sleep
To sleep no more
To become immersed in Sharia Law
To drown in it
And by a sleep
To say we end
Culture, civilisation, freedom
The whole enterprise of man
The heartaches and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to
And that make life worth living
Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished
But what do I care
I never believed in God
I'll barely even notice
What matter if I swap
Hopeless Atheistic Rupert Murdock Worshipping Marxian Conformism
For Hopeless Psychopathic Murderous Humanity Destroying Muslim Nihilism
What difference to me
I've been well paid
Hark
Tis the Saudi Muezzin
Calling his Jihadis to prayer
On the streets of London, Rome, Paris, Dublin,
Hear it not Europe
Tis a knell
That summons thee to heaven
Or to hell