The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Friday, May 24, 2013

the apotheosis of alan shatter

Justiz Ministeer Alan Shatter strolls through the corridors of the Reichskanzellerie in Dublin.
He smiles distantly as his jackboots click on the marble floor.
He is thinking of the Kinky Boots song which he and the cabinet have just sung together.
It's good to be the king.
Alan Shatter's smile deepens as he recalls his recent escapade in refusing to take a breath test at a police checkpoint in Dublin.
The police had wanted to breathalise Justice Minister Alan Shatter to see if he was drunk in charge of an automobile but he had refused to accept any such intrusion into his life and affairs, supposedly telling the officers that he couldn't be breathalised as he is asthmatic, and then simply driving on.
Think what would happen if you or I tried that.
The police, playing their usual double game, had leaked details of the incident to other politicians and to the press.
Ze fools.
Ze puny fools.
His smile deepens further as he recalls his machinations in parliament against the Independent parliamentarian Mick Wallace.
Alan Shatter had used the same police who had been spying on him, to spy on Mick Wallace, and had been informed by no less a personage than the Commissioner of Police that Mick Wallace had been seen a year ago using a mobile phone while driving.
Alan Shatter had used this information to embarass Mick Wallace in parliament, attempting to imply that Mick Wallace was being hypocritical in bringing incidents to public attention where the police had corruptly cancelled mandatory penalty points for selected celebrities and politicians who had been fined for non use of seat belts, speeding and or using a mobile phone while driving.
Let's be clear about this.
Justice Minister Alan Shatter and the police of the Republic of Ireland had colluded to silence Mick Wallace by falsely alleging he had benefitted from similar cancellation of a mandatory fine.
Hoo baby.
Alan Shatter's smile deepens now to a depth that is beyond malign.
He can no longer contain himself.
"Vee haff won," he snarls to the empty corridor. "Soon ze abortions vill be everywhere. Soon your Catholic schools vill be mine. I haff criminalised your ceremony of Confession. I haff put ze abortion pills in Irish pharmacies and I haff ensured that those abortion pills are dispensed to children no questions asked. I haff labelled your church an abusing insititution. I haff used ten billion dollars of your money to bail out Education Minister Ruairi Quinn's brother Lochlainn's worthless gangster banks AIB. Soon ze whole vorld vill be ourssss. Puny mortals. Who can save you now. I... AM... GOD..."


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