croagh patrick for beginners

Toiling down Croagh Patrick like the last of the Mohicans.
(You wot guv? - Ed note)
We pause at Break Heart ridge.
Rain and wind and all the rest.
With that rare courtesy of a true pilgrim, Bill hocks up a gully and spits into the air.
The flegm (Phlegm surely - Ed note) hovers briefly in a sort of stasis in front of my eyes, before the wind decides to hurl it away in the opposite direction.
"Thanks Bill," sez me bitterly. "Thanks for checking the wind direction before you did that. Thanks for not taking a chance it would simply blow back right into my face."
"Sorry," said Bill affably.
And on we trudged.